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Well its been 3 months and i have lost 83 pounds!!!!!!!!! Mainly due to the fact that I can't eat. I have an anastomosis stricture and constant low grade nausea. The thought of food makes me want to hurl. So for now i attempt to get in protein through Isopure. For the most part I just drink tons of water and eat ice chips. I can have a few small pretzels here and there. Sunflower seeds have helped with the nausea lately.

On a brighter note,I have went from a size 26/28 to 16/18! I have no clothes! Everytime I buy something new 2 weeks later it doesnt fit. But I am enjoying my slimming body. I can finally cross my legs, i fit in chairs so much easier. I recently went out with my girlfriends to a comdey show and i was so happy i had tons of room! No trying to sit sideways to fit better!

I am going to ramble today. I am scared out of my wits about surgery this Friday. I am so scared of dying and leaving my kids to fend for themselves in this crazy world. There is absolutely knowone i trust to raise my kids. I would feel so much more confident if I knew that their father could take care of them, but heck he is still working on getting his own act together. My brothers, well, thats a whole nother story in itself. Grandparents, pleaseeeee. The only one I could trust would be the kids godmother, but she has her own family to take care of.
I have my surgery Friday, and come Monday, I will be taking care of myself. I have knowone to stay here and help me. I do have friends to call on thankfully. I have always trudged through things on my own. It sucks, up until this surgery, I have never ever thought about how much I do on my own. But I find myself so upset that I am always going through major events on my own. But I will persevere, in the end I am a better person.