I'm such a procrastinator

Oct 16, 2011

I've neither journaled, posted, blogged or introduced myself here at OH.  Sooooo hello if you're reading me and sorry for being such a lurker.  I'm no ordinary lurker either.  Back in 2000 or so, I was addicted to reading everything and viewing every picture of members progress certain that I would have bariatric surgery then, but I managed to convince myself for the thousandth time that I could lose this all by myself and drifted away from OH lurking.  I actually gained weight instead.  By 2004 my weight was 297 and I was my heaviest ever. 

Because I had a "threshold", my mental don't cross that line which was 300 lbs., I lost a few pounds. A very few, but I started adding some good behaviors  that I hoped would become habit over time.  Some more weight came off, but what also happened were the beginnings of diabetes.  I explained away the signs, maybe out of denial, but the pains around my kidneys would not be ignored and my doctors office called me in a panic to go to the hospital if the pain returned.  My A1C was horrible (16.5) and they were concerned about kidney failure.  Not to mention heart attack, stroke or coma.

So over the past year, I've lost a little more weight and down in the low 250s, but now I am sick and tired of the diabetes.  I did a little online video viewing of dieters and an add for a bariatric hospital center appeared.  I clicked, filled out a form and a day later the doctors called.  I just followed their program and three months later, my surgery  for VSG is scheduled three days from now.

As the time gets closer, my anxiety rises about the surgery, the preparations and the post surgical care and program.  Probably just being normal, huh?

~L~

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