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Date Weight Pounds Lost Total Pounds Lost BMI Date 10/15/04 278 0 0 49.2 Date 11/14/04 258 20 20 45.7 Date 12/13/04 234 24 44 41.5 Date 1/18/05 223 11 55 38.3 Date 2/28/05 204 19 74 35.0 Date 3/14/05 200 4 78 34.3 Date 4/26/05 183 17 95 31.4 Date 5/29/05 175 8 103 30.0 Date 7/1/05 166 9 112 28.5 Date 8/5/05 156 10 122 27.6 Date 8/29/05 149 7 129 26.3 Date 10/10/05 148 1 130 26.2 Date 11/15/05 143 5 135 25.3

January 11, 2006 3:30am Well, tonight is my first night in ther ER alone and I am not going to say or write how it is going lest I jinx myself. My weight has been pretty stable still around 141-142, even though I want to get under 140. I have been exercising enough but I am also hungry and not eating as much protein as I should. That is a goal for myself this year. Mark ordered some Achieve and that should be here soon so that will help. I do have an unjury shake every morning for breakfast so that is helping. I really should have another one again some time during the day because it really does help curb the hunger. I crave carbs so bad and that is where I get into not making good choices. I have been going to spinning classes on a regular basis and I still love them. Every instructor makes it different each time I go so it is never boring and I am getting really proficient getting into and out of my bike with my cleats on. I had lunch with mom today at Applebee's. Just had the French Onion soup and then got a blackened chicken salad to go. That was good. Then we went to East Towne because she wanted to get a Badger shirt. She has finally agreed to fly and her and Dad are going to fly to Arizona in March for Brewer Spring Training. That will make it so much easier when we go to Jackson in August February 15, 2006 Still holding steady at 141. Still want to be 135. I have been working out 4 times a week and have added weight training to these workouts so I am in the gym about 2 hours each day. I don't know what more to do. Well, I do. I can cut down on the carbs. But when I work out so much, I feel more hungry too. I can tell I am getting leaner a little. My clothes are fitting the same if not a little looser. I am just so afraid of gaining, I really want a cushion there for times like this week when I can tell I am going to get my period soon and I eat a little more than I should. Mark reminds me that when I feel like I have eaten more than I think I should have, it will never be like prior to WLS and how I would have eaten. I felt guilty yesterday because I ate an extra apple with some peanut butter on it. Well, a few years ago, I would have eaten a whole bag of peanut butter cups. I am at work tonight, not too busy at all. I should get drinking more liquids though and then maybe I wouldn't want to eat so much. Mark has a CAT scan this morning so I hope all is fine with that. He has an enlarged spleen that we don't know what is going on with. I will have to update again soon. Lori April 13, 2006 Working tonight, not too busy though. It is now 0430. I am staying steady at 140's. I am still really hungry when I work out so much and I saw the dietician a couple of weeks ago and she looked at my diary and said I was doing everyting right. I guess this is where I am going to stay. Mark and I are leaving for Vermont in two weeks for a romantic anniversary. I can't wait. We are going to go shopping and biking in the area and we are staying a a very nice and romantic inn. The kids will be watched by grandma and Mike and Irene are going to help too. I got a new bowling ball this past weekend. My old one didn't even fit my hand anymore. I hope Mark and I can bowl this fall. I forgot how much fun it is. Well I should go and do some room stocking. take care. Lori May 3, 2006 Well Mark and I are back from our romantice "second honeymoon" as everyone here at work is touting it. We had a wonderful time. The weather in Vermont was gorgeous. It was 60's and sunny. I had my pictures taken the Friday before we left and worked on a scrapbook of my favorite memories with him as my gift. He cried when he read it. I also got him a new watch from Eddie Bauer and a new outfit to wear when we left. He took my anniversary band in that I had lost the stone in a long time ago and had it replaced and also had it made smaller. It went from a size 9 down to a size 6. Our flight was good except for the fact that I left my new Wisconsin jacket in the airport in Madison. When we got to Vermont. We rented a car and drove from Burlington to Stowe. Only about 30 minutes away and not hard to find at all. Our room was beautiful. In an old English typle building all to ourselves it felt. We had a two room suite, with a king canopy bed, a big screen TV and a jacuzzi in our room with a fireplace by our bed. Mark had flowers and a Vermont Teddy Bear waiting in the room for me. That was so nice. We went out to dinner at a nice Bistro and I had Ahi Tuna. It was delicious. I felt so guilty leaving so much food of a $26 plate left but I have to get over that. I also told myself I was going to go with the one bite rule on the deserts because I knew there would be some really decadent ones that we would be able to try in some of these restaurants. We had Creme Brulee and it was undescribable. They also gave us truffles to take back to our room and I had one of those. On Friday we drove to the Ben and Jerry's plant and took the tour. That was fun too. We got a little sample at the end of the tour and that was just enough. Then we drove on to Burlington and went shopping downtown. It was kind of like downtown Madison and State Street because Burlington is a college town. We had lunch there in a little sandwich shop. I had a grilled porta bella and veggie. Again I ate only 1/2 of the bread but all of the mushroom and the veggies. We had fun shopping and I got a new outfit at Aeropostale and some panties and a new bra at Victoria's, and some new flip flops. That night we came back to Stowe and dressed up and went out to dinner at the Whip Bar and Grill which is the restaurant that is with the Green Mountain Inn where we stayed. I had the Pork Tenderloin over Grilled Eggplant and Mark had the Prime Rib. It was fabulous. Again way too much food, but oh well. Saturday, we got up early and went to rent bikes at AJ's. It was great. We went back and forth twice for a total of 22 miles on the recreation path. We stopped and got a sandwich at the mercantile and took it back and had a little picnic along the river. It was very nice and quiet. Then we went back and got cleaned up and went out to the Matterhorn for supper. I didn't know what to have there and they are famous for the "best Sushi in Vermont". So I thought "What the heck." Our waiter was so nice in explaining everything to me about sushi and what to try and how to eat it. I loved it and am totally hooked now. I even got an order to go and took it with us when we left on Sunday. They also make a good Martini there and I subsequently got smashed. But it sure was a lot of fun. The flight home was a little bumpy and the kids were all excited to see us. They liked all there presents. Garrett seems to have grown more since I have been gone. He is not my little baby anymore. I went to spinning class today. The best news for me since I was so scared about all the food I had was that I actually lost almost 2 pounds and am down to 142. Tonight it is back to work and then I have off tomorrow since it is the opening of Brooke's play. Till next time. Lori May 24, 2006 Went to the INXS concert last night in Chicago. It was great. We did a lot of people watching before the concert and I realized that for once in my lifetime, I was not the biggest in the room and I was actually one of the smallest women there. I felt good about myself and had a really good time. We stood for the entire concert and danced all night. There was a heavy girl in front of us and she had to keep sitting down. I could totally feel for her. May 25, 2006 I was having a rough time after we got back from vacation. I can't believe I did so good on vacation and then fell apart afterwards. It really didn't help that it was so dark and rainy and dreary here for 2 weeks either. I was eating so bad and throwing up a lot, feeling guilty and eating more, and then throwing up more. For a while I didn't even want to get out of bed again. Mark was great and snapped me out of it though. When the weather got better, I got back to the gym and got to work. Gail and I got together the other day and she really helped me too. We have started talking and planning our business together and I think that will help too. If I can be there to help someone else, it will help me do good too. Plus, if I am going to be a role model to someone, I have to be accountable to myself. I have started writing everything down again and actually made up my own tracking sheets to keep track about everything from calories, protein, vitamins, meds, exercise, and fluids. It feels good to be back on track. June 15, 2006 Ok, I am finally going to get back on track. Well, I am back on track as of Monday. Always on a Monday it seems. I just could not get it together after we got back from vacation. I went to spinning on Monday and much to my surprise I only weighed 143.6. I don't think that scale was right. I have been way more naughty than that. I am embarrassed to say that I have been throwing up a lot lately. Well, not as much as I had been. I had bee throwing up 4-5 times a day. Now it is only about 2-3 times a week. I think I should go back to my therapist and talk to her about it. I am embarrassed to tell her though. I am trying really hard to not eat and to stay away from home or to stay busy when I am home. I have been going shopping a lot lately though and that is not a solution either. Mark and I are going golfing in the morning so that should be fun. I did have some graham crackers earlier that I should not have had but I went down to the vending machine and I did not get anything so that is good. I have had a bad headache for the past few days and I feel sort of groggy. I made some coffee just now so maybe that will help. I want to start exercising more again. I know that will help too. I went to spinnning on Tuesday and today we will golf and tomorrow I want to spin again so I think that will help. Mark and I are going to try to ride our bikes on Sunday maybe. It is Father's Day and I don't know what to get him. It is so hard. Why does he have it so easy to buy for me? Brooke comes home from camp on Friday. She had been a handful lately too. I am trying to go with the flow. I just want to get down to 140... and then in my mind I will be happy. Lori June 29, 2006 12:28am I have been trying really hard these past few days to only eat protein first and no or only "good" carbs. I was sneaking way to many crackers, chips, cereal, bagels and the like and I felt like I was hungry all the time. Now that I have been doing a lot of protein again I do feel better and more in control. I also have been trying to drink a lot when I feel the urges to eat come on too strong too. That helps. Mark has been helping me a lot lately too. He is really getting on the healthy eating plan himself and tracking all of his stuff through fit day and that makes it easier for me too to not feel like I am always all alone. He wants to lose some weight before we go on our biking trip next year. My dad found out that he is a type 2 diabetes recently and so he and mom are also dieting so the whole family is involved in healthy eating. I am going back to see my therapist and the psychiatrist next week because I have been down a lot lately. I don't know why, I just have. I think I have been depressed about the numbers on the scale. I just can't get past the number thing. I really want to be in the 130's. Gail and I have been working on out business stuff every week and Mark and I bought a new computer this week for our business too. I think it will be fun and something that will keep me more on track too since I will be helping other people along the way with this surgery. I have to be a good role model. Well, I will keep up and keep posting. Lori

January 3, 2005 Well the scale did say 228 and now it says 225. I am so excited. I still do not really see a difference when I walk by the mirror though. I had a good Christmas and New Year. We went to the Badger Hockey game on New Year's Eve and then watched the fire works downtown. Garrett has pneumonia and is on 3 different meds, one of which is prednisone, a steroid. It makes him really crabby and really hungry. Mark bought me a pair of boots for Christmas but I took them back and bought a skirt since I have again cleaned out my closet and have gotten rid of so much stuff. We went to Land's End and it is a regular size XL. I thought it would be tight and so it was supposed to be my inspirational piece to work to fit into. Well I brought it home and it fit right away. I even have room to spare so I think I am going to take it back and get a Large to work into. I can hardly believe that I am wearing a regular size. That is the fun part. I have still been going to the club regularly and excercising. Mark and I both went yesterday and I did the machines. He also bought me a big blue yoga ball for me to do sit ups on. Boy do my muscles hurt today. But I do like doing the sit ups on the ball and hope that my stomach can tighten up. My new year's resolution is to take my vitamins everyday. It sure was nice not to have to make the resolution to lose weight only to know that I was not going to do it. This year I know I am going to do it. Well my lunch is almost over. Bye for now. January 18, 2005 I now weigh 223. 55 pounds since surgery, which was 3 months ago. I have slowed down some but I know that is normal. Even though the scale did not move much this week, my clothes feel smaller. I have still been going to the Princeton club so that is what is making a difference. We had everyone here for Garrett's b-day on Sunday and now having the cake was not so painful as it was for Grants b-day. I made hot chicken salad and had some of that. I saw the dietician the other day and she lowered down my protein goal to 60g, so I think I can make that. She was more concerned about my fluids, which I do have a hard time getting in sometimes. I can wear 16-18 and xl tops. I was very excited to get a new Columbia coat this weekend and it is a man's medium, when I was in a man's 2-3x before. I still cannot get it zipped all the way but I wanted it a little tight so I can grow down into it. I have been really tired lately but my labs were fine, so I don't know what is going on. And I am still having such bad hip pain. I wish I knew what I could take. Hope everyone is doing good and I will update again soon. January 24, 2005 Well the snow kept us pretty much cooped up for the weekend. We rented movies and cleaned and did laundry. It sure does pile up fast. Mark and I went to water aerobics on Sunday. What a workout. I am so sore this morning. I went to the club and did only 10 minutes on the precor and 15 minute bike ride. I weighed myself when I got in and it said 216.5. That is 61.5 pounds. I went shopping yesterday and bought some new clothes again. I wanted to get a nice outfit for the talk I am giving next Monday night for Dean. I got a 14 pants and 14-16 shirt. I still cannot see it in the mirror but I can tell in my clothes. The pants are still a little too tight but I am going to work out everyday this week and they should fit by Monday. I finally had some food this weekend that tasted good. I have had such a problem with not feeling like eating or nothing sounds good. We ordered some General's Chicken from the Main Moon and I just ate the chicken, no rice. Then yesterday I got a turkey wrap from Milio's. It took me three meals to finish it but it sure was good. Well, I will update again soon. Take care everyone. FEBRUARY 7, 2005 Well almost 4 months out and I am down 66 pounds. Had a good weekend. I am having terrible hip pain and have not been able to exercise much last week. I have felt the depression creeping in because of this. I have Percocet but you can only take that for so long and it really does not help all that much anyway. It only takes the edge off. I saw Dr. Gronski from sports med this morning and he gave me another injection of cortisone into the hip and I am starting physical therapy. I hope it works. I really do get a good feeling from exercising. I am determined to get in all my fluids this week. I tried really hard last week and did lose 5 pounds. I can't believe what a difference it does make. well, my lunch just beeped in the micro, so I will go. FEBRUARY 13, 2005 I have had a wonderful weekend. We all went and worked out yesterday morning. My hip is still sore but I have been taking the meds along with some plain tylenol and I did not walk on the treadmill but did the eliptical machine for 30 minutes. I actually burn more calories on that then walking. I had a great job interview on Friday with Dean in the IT department as a Clinical App. Specialist working with the Epic team. Everyone seemed very nice and excited about what they do. It will be more hours, but I think I will love it. Mark and I got a babysitter and went out last night. We went to West Towne shopping and I got: A PAIR OF PANTS FROM THE GAP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I could hardly stand it. I was so excited. I just wanted to run right home and put them on and never take them off. Mom and Dad came over today for lunch and a movie and they thought I looked so good in them. I also got an XL sweater from there. This shopping is so fun. We had a nice time with mom and dad and I made a whole dinner for everyone. A casserole, salad, rolls, and a pumpkin desert. Everything I could eat. I still ate too fast though and threw up. Oh well. Well I am going to go to group tomorrow night. I think I will take my new jeans with me and change into them to wear there. :) February 28th, 2005 I had my yearly physical today and I weighed in at 204. Yeah. My birthday was last week and Mark bought me a gift certificate from Old Navy. Well, I couldn't let it burn a hole in my purse so we went shopping on Saturday. It was so fun. I could have spent so long in there. I was trying on things left and right until the boys got sick of it and started whining. I bought a new pair of jeans, size 14 and an xl silk tank top and an xl blazer. How fun!!!!!!! We went and worked out on Sunday and I lifted weights. I wish I had more time to do that part. I just usually have time to do cardio in the moring before work unless I wanted to get up really early. I don't. March 14, 2005 Been doing good. I weighed 200 this morning. I was so excited to move that block from the 200 to the 150 on the office scale. I had a good weekend. I went to a breastfeeding conference Thursday and Friday. I got up and swam with Jennie on Thursday morning before I left. I did 30 half-laps. I even got up early Friday morning and went down to the fitness center in the hotel and worked out for 35 minutes. We went shopping Thursday night and I got some new underwear from Victoria's Secret. How fun. It is amazing how different I am treated now when I walk into a "regular" store. The sales girls are all nice and asking how they can help when before if I even walked into their store, they would look at me like "what are you doint in here you fat cow". I also bought some new shoes at DSW. I don't want to buy too many new clothes because I am changing still. But it is fun to look and know that I can fit into them. I looked aroung in Coldwater Creek, and J Jill. I love their colors and style. That's the thing I don't even know what my style is. I used to be at the mercy of Lane Bryant and The Avenue to tell me what to wear. Now I can wear anything. I did get a leather lime green blazer from Burlington Coat Factory this weekend. A XL. Woo Hoo I also got my hair colored a little bit darker this weekend. Yesterday Mark, Brooke, and I did the 5K Shamrock Shuffle here in Madison. It was really fun and I got a little teary as I crossed the finish line. My goal was to do it in under 1 hour and I came in at 52.26. I even jogged alittle bit. I was pretty sore last night though and I have been battling a migraine this weekend too. I have support group meeting tonight and they are discussing post-op nutrition which is good because I am stuck again. Nothing tastes good or I am not hungry for anything. Well, I will update again soon. April 4, 2005 Had a good weekend. The weather was beautiful. Mark and I went on a walk together on Saturday and then we went shopping. He told me my size 14 jeans were getting too big and I didn't believe him. We went to Old Navy and I got a pair of 12's just to have at home to work into. He wanted me to try them on but I was too scared that I wouldn't even be able to pull them above my knees. I finally gave in on Sunday and they fit!! I just started to cry. I don't even know why. I just kept looking at the tag and can't believe that it says 12. I have never been a 12. The smallest I can remember was right before we got married and I had on a 14 outfit at my bridal shower. I was also crying because I wish Kris could see me. Grant is going to get a new bike this week and dad is going to take my bike to the Trek store for me. I can't wait to ride it. We went grocery shopping yesterday. We are trying to plan out our meals again. I got on the scale this morning and I lost 6 pounds last week. I was really trying hard to drink lots and get in the protein. I can't believe just how much that makes a difference. I didn't go to the club this morning because my head is still so stuffy but Jennie wants to go to water aerobics tonight. I will probably go. But it is so nice to go for a walk with Mark too since it has been so nice outside. I don't know what I will do but know that I have to do something since we didn't do anything yesterday. I guess that is about it for now. bye April 11, 2005 Well, today is my 6 month anniversary. I have lost 89 pounds. I weighed the same today as last Monday. I think with the big loss last week my body just needed to stabilize out. Still frustrating though. Mark and I got up early yesterday and went to the club. It was a good work out but hard because I hadn't done anything in 3 days. I am officially discharged from PT this morning. My hip feels 100% better. I still need to continue with the exercises and stretches to get better flexibility. The weekend was gorgeous here. We worked on cleaning the house and straightened the basement and took a bunch of stuff to goodwill including a huge tote of clothes. I want to work out a lot this week and see if I can get to 100 pounds down soon. I am afraid that now I have hit the magic 6 month mark that things will start slowing down. Mark reassures me that I am still going to do good because I still can't really eat too much. Not much more than 1/2 cup or too fast or I throw up. I need to work on getting in enough protein and water. I still have not and do not plan to try anything with sugar in it. Well, I will update again soon. Probably not until I can say that I have lost that 100 pound magic number. take care all. APRIL 26, 2005 Well, 2 more weeks and still no 100 mark yet but, I have done really good these last 4 days. I have decided to stop the peanut butter all together for a while. Even the low fat has too much fat. Today I weigh 183. That is 95 pounds in 6 1/2 months. Not to shabby, I say. I went to the weight loss informational seminar last night at St Marys. I love to go and see the whole team and I really do like to get up and talk to the group about my experience. I told them all about how I can now ride Kris' bike and how special that is to me. Some people were even crying. I brought my size 26 jeans with me and I wore my size 12. When I got home I had Mark take pictures of me since I hadn't done that in a while. I can see the difference in the pictures but when I look down at myself I still see the same person. I am working with Nancy on that. We went shopping last weekend and I bought 10-12 and med and large tops. It is really fun but also very overwhelming now. I don't know what to get and it takes so long to look at everything. Before I could only look at a couple racks or in 1 or 2 stores. I look in magazines a lot and at what other people are wearing that I think looks cute. I realized this morning another thing thin people take for granted. As a got out of the shower at the Princeton Club and wrapped my towel around me, I thought "my towel goes all the way around me now." Just something that small is very important to someone who couldn't do that before. Tomorrow is our wedding anniversary. We are not going to get each other anything because we have done so much shopping in the last few weeks. If the weather cooperates, we are going to go golfing. It will be nice just to spend a quiet day together. bye for now. May 6, 2005 Well, still hanging out at 183. How frustrating is that!!! I have been working out everyday and even this Monday I did 2 workouts. Mark keeps telling me that I am losing inches and that is fine and good but I still want to see the scale move. I have been lifting weights more so I know that muscle weighs more than fat too. I was able to tighten up my belt another 2 knotches yesterday, so I guess I will believe him. Mark and I had a very nice anniversary. The weather was bad so we didn't so golfing. I got up early and went and worked out and was home just as he was getting home from taking the kids to school. We went to Borders and had coffee and broused around and I bought mom a birthday present book. Then we went to Best Buy and bought the kids each a CD. I owed them from when Mark was in Chicago and I told them if they were good they could each have one. Then we went to the Mall and I got some new "panties" from Victoria's. I told Mark with all the pretty colors and soft fabrics it is just like walking into a candy store for me now. It is more fun than eating because I get to experience the same feelings over and over instead of just once when I eat something. I love to shop. We walked all over the mall because he wanted to buy me some jewelry for our anniversary but I really didn't see anything. I said let's go to a real jewelry store. Not just one of these "mall" stores. So we went to Chalmer's. I found a beautiful omega necklace and opal slide. I love it, and it definately is an investment piece. We went to Bear Rock Cafe for lunch. I had a chicken wrap, only are half, which was just right and then it was time to go home already. May 7, 2005 Maybe I will write a book someday. I already have a title for one of the chapters. "Daylight Between My Thighs" That's what Mark told me today he saw. He was standing a ways away from me at Grants track meet and he said he could really tell that I had lost weight because he could see the daylight between my thighs, they were not touching anymore. I had a good time today. I got up early and went to the farmer's market with Mike and then we met up with the rest of the family in Sun Prairie for the track meet. We had to stand a long time. Something I would not have been able to do 6 months ago and Mark parked so far away. Last year I would have made him go and get the car. We did some shopping and I got a new swimming suit. Mine is just hanging on me. I am going swimming on Monday morning with Jennie and Cathie. I also got some stuff to make cards for Nurse's week that I am going to go and work on now. take care. May 29, 2005 What a busy weekend we are having. We decided to not go anywhere, but stay home and clean, clean, clean. We even rented a dumpster to clean out everything in and around the house, basement, and outside shed. I got my hair cut and colored the other day. I went back to dark. I think it looks really good and I got it cut shorter too since it is so thin. I hope it grows back soon. I am stuck in a plateau again. 175.8. At least I broke through the 100 pound goal.. I thought I would be more excited about it. Instead I am scared. I feel so hungry lately. I am getting in more protein too since getting shakes and bars that I really like now and I drink so much more water during the day now that we have bottled water. I guess I just have to really watch it and be careful. I went shopping yesterday with mom and bought a new skirt, size 10 Calvin Klein. woo hoo. That made me feel better along with my new sassy hair. I was kind of in a funk lately. I always feel better when I look good. Plus I got my contacts now too so I think I look better without my glasses. I have a headache so I think I will just cut it short for now. bye June 1, 2005 Good Day today. I got my hair cut and colored last week and I have to say it looks really good. I went back to my dark color with some blond and red highlights. It was getting so thin that now the dark color makes it look thicker and richer. I went shopping with mom last Friday at TJ Maxx and bought a new skirt and sweater. A Calvin Klein size 10 and a small sweater. Yea Hoo. I can't believe it sometimes. I had Mark take my picture this morning. I really look like Ronelle now with my hair dark. Jennie and I are going to water aerobics tonight. I like changing my workouts like that. It seems to help me lose some weight when I feel like I am getting into a plateau. I did lose almose 4 pounds last week though. I just get scare sometimes that it will all stop before I want to be done. I get so mad at people sometimes when they say I should stop losing. I am only 5'4 and still weigh 172. I just really carry it well and must look small. I want to get down to 150 at least. Then we will see. Maybe people are jealous that I will get smaller then they are. So many times people identify themselves as who they are by comparing themselves to the "fat girl" Like at least I am not as big as her. Well now some of them are bigger than me and they know that I can still get smaller. I don't know. I don't act that way though. Like "look at me" Of course I am excited of what I have done but I don't think I brag. Oh well,I will just try to work my own program and stick with it to the end. I see Dr. Hoops next week. I wonder what he will say??? June 6, 2005 Well, it has been almost 8 months since my surgery date this week. I saw my surgeon this morning and I have lost 109 pounds. That seems not even real to me to say that. I am wearing mostly 10-12 pants and medium tops now. It is really getting fun to see what my body can do that it couldn't do last summer. It was pretty warm this weekend and I had on jeans and a t-shirt. I would never have had on jeans. I would have been one big sweaty mess, but I was comfortable. We were at AHS all weekend working in the warehouse and it was hot in there too. I was able to help pull boxes off the racking and move things. No way last year! The Wisconsin Public Television auction was this weekend and we bid on and won the trip to Jackson Hole, Wyoming. We are going to go next August. It is right in the heart of Grand Teton National Park. That is one of the things I have always wanted to do. Hike in the mountains and here it is going to really come true. My life is changing so much for the good and Mark's job is changing too and that is a good thing. It is fun to see him excited about something again. The guys from Chicago were here all weekend helping to load all the semi's. It was fun for me to be confident to be out there helping and to know that I looked "normal" to them and not this big fat wife of Mark. Mike, Mark and I went bowling on Friday night too and I had on jeans and a long sleeve shirt and I wasn't sweating then either. I still have my towel in my bag from when I had to wipe the pouring down sweat off my brow after every ball I threw. We are going to bowl in a league this year. That will be so much fun. I will have to get some new equipment though because I could not even hang onto my ball because it was way too loose. I think I will have to get some pictures on here soon since this has been such a long journey. Well, bye for now. Hope to be in the 160's soon. June 8, 2005 Well it didn't take long to get into the 160's. After I saw Dr. Heupenbecker and told him I was doing great, no sooner did I start having this pain right in my sternum. I think I actually ate too many raw carrots the day before. So I just went back to basics and stayed on liquids for the last 2 days and now I feel better. Lost 3 pounds too. Ronelle brought me some clothes yesterday. Two dresses and a skirt. I love getting things that I don't have to pay for. I wore one dress today. "A little black dress" I do have to say I looked good and thin. And I don't say that too often about myself. July 1, 2005 I am still having pain in my stomach (pouch) I think it is actually when I get too hungry because if I eat something it goes away. I guess I never felt true hunger pains before, I just ate and ate. I have been struggling with the same pounds for a few weeks now and I actually gained almost 2 last week. I am going back to basics and stopping the carbs and increasing the protein. That is hard. I like the carbs. I only have 14 weeks left until my 1 year anniversary and I want to lose 20 more pounds. I know I have come a long way but I still want to go further. I have been exercising 4 times a week and mixing it up too so I don't get bored. Brooke and I went on a 23.5 mile bike ride last Friday when it was soooo hot here. It was great and Mark and I are going to do the same ride tomorrow morning. It was so emotional to be on my sister's bike. Her husband brought over some more of her art work and I hung a self portrait in our bedroom. I think I finally found the tatoo I want to get. It is a beautiful angel that is laying on the moon dressed in a long flowing blue dress. I just have to hunt around now for the right place to have it done. Jennie and I went to water aerobics this Wednesday but it was cancelled so we just did our own thing and I think that we had a harder workout than we would have had the class gone on. We combined both aerobics and lap swimming. Other than the bike ride I am not sure what we are going to do this holiday weekend. I am going to try hard to eat right and get in enough fluids. bye July 4, 2005 Independence Day.....It is sort of an independence day for me too. I am sitting here typing and I am wearing my new size 8 jeans from Old Navy. I can't even believe it!!!!!!! I will have to take them off soon and look at the tag again. I tried on my old size 26 jeans today and they felt like they belonged to someone else. I could get both legs into one of them now. I don't even remember that person who wore them anymore. I feel the same sometimes and yet sometimes I feel so different. I see myself in the mirror sometimes and think "who is that person, I have never seen her before." And then I realize that it is me. I have had a really good weekend. Mark got rid of the scale. He hid it somewhere. I am only going to weigh myself at work now and only once a week. We got up early on Saturday and went to Brodhead and rode 14 miles on the Sugar River trail. It was really fun. Then we had a picnic together in the park. We took a long way home and got in at about 1pm. Ronelle said the boys were good so we decided to take them to the Brewer game. It was really fun. I did good with my eating. I got a chicken breast sandwich and only ate the chicken with some secret sauce on it. I really wanted a pretzel with some cheese on it or some peanuts later but had just a water instead. I was pretty hungry on the way home so we stopped in Delavan at the grocery store and I got some cottage cheese, some SF preserves, a dish and a spoon and had that to eat. I felt really good about my choices. Even better now that I am in these jeans. On Sunday, Mark and Grant went to his work and I stayed home and cleaned and played outside with Garrett and read some of my book. Then when Mark came home, Garrett and I went to the Princeton Club and I worked out. Then we had some supper and went to go and see Katie's new duplex. It is really nice. We went looking at houses in Verona on the way home and stayed up until about 11:30 watching tv. I couldn't sleep much this morning and I knew there was going to be a water aerobics class at the club, so I got up and went to the 0800 hi-lo class. It was really fun. I am going to work out tomorrow and Wednesday morning too and then take Thursday off since Mark needs to go to work early. I have Friday off to go to the Bird Bath Open in Appleton so after I get the boys to daycare, I am going to go and work out and then come home and pack. Well, that's all for my weekend so far we are going to cook out burgers on the grill for supper and them maybe a rent a movie. We are also working on laundry and I have to get the boy's "cubbies" ready for the week so they have something to wear. Bye for now. July 11, 2005 I had an awesome weekend! And to top it off when I got on the scale this morning it said 159.7. That is 120 pounds gone forever! Whew. I also got my period this morning so maybe I shouldn't get too excited. Maybe it is just water weight coming off now. We were at the Bird Bath Open Swim meet all this weekend up in Appleton, Wisconsin. It really was a lot of fun and it did pretty good with my eating too, I think. It was so hot but it didn't bother me at all. In fact I even went for a long walk with one of the mom's yesterday and she has the longest legs and I could keep up. Last year, my life was all about excuses for not doing things and this summer it is all about living it. Saturday after Brooke was done swimming, I took her and her friend Lizzy and we headed off to the mall while Mark and the boys went to Funset Boulevard to play video games. We had a blast at the Mall. I had so much fun myself trying on new clothes in stores that I could only dream about before. I got a really cute pair of pants from Aeropostle, size 8. Wooo Hooo. I thought I totally wouldn't fit into them, but they fit nice. I wonder what size I will be once I have my TT? Sunday it was very hot and we got out of there at about noon and came home. I took a little nap and then got to doing the laundry. We always have heaps of it. I am just on a high this morning. I am so close to my goal now. Group is tonight and we are going to talk about plastic surgery. I hope Jane is there. I haven't seen her since she was in the hospital. bye for now. July 29, 2005 Things are going good. I think I am getting into the swing of it lately. I have been keeping close track of what I am eating and my exercise in a little book I always have with me. I try to stay around 800 calories a day but that is very hard. I am still losing about 1 pound a week. Work has been pretty stressful lately and I find instead of eating more, I am eating less. I still need to get in the protein though. We are thinking about building a house. Lots of money though and I still want to have my plastics done next year so I have to think where I want to compromise. Maybe we should just look for a house that is less money. Mark and I have started biking in the morning. We go about 10 miles. It is a nice time when just the two of us are together and we can talk about things that are going on. We don't have anything planned for this weekend so we are going to do some things around the house to get it ready to sell. I just really want the kids to have their own space. That all I know for now I guess. Bye August 16, 2005 Well, lots has happened since my last post. We decided not to build and we went ahead and bought a house that we had looked at about 2 years ago but passed on because it already had a bid in on it. This time we got it! It is a nice ranch with 3 bedrooms upstairs, along with 1 full bath and a 3/4 in the master, a huge greatroom with a stone fireplace and a nice eat in kitchen with a breakfast bar. The basement is fully finished with the 4th bedroom, another 3/4 bathroom and a family surround sound and a wet bar. Hello Packer Parties! It will just be a job to get our 56 inch tv moved from one place to the new. The kids are excited because they will all have their own rooms and Brooke is excited to get a new bigger bed and give her twin loft to Grant. This house is in a great location on a cul-de-sac so less chance of anyone getting hit while riding their bikes out there. Well we have been on our first family vacation for the last 6 days and it is going ok, I suppose. We are in Washington DC. Garrett (5) is still a little bit too young to enjoy everything and he gets tired of looking at all the stuff in the museums, but everyone has been ok. We went to the Zoo on Sunday, and it was so hot that a lot of the animals were not even out. On Monday, we went to the National Museum of Natural History and the National Museum of American History. They all liked both of those. Then we walked to the Washington Monument and down to the WWII memorial and to the Lincoln Memorial. Then we walked to the Korean War Memorial and back to the Metro Stop. A very long walk. I can't even imagine doing this trip last year when I weighed 280. It was so hot and the walk was so long. I went and worked out though last night for about 30 minutes because I felt like I still had too many calories even though I have done pretty good. Today (Tuesday) we went to the National Art Gallery and to the National Archives to see the Declaration of INdependence. Then we went to Pentagon City Mall. This is where the fun starts. I had so much fun shopping. I bought a pair of size 8 jeans at Eddie Bauer and when I was looking at a new sweater and the clerk asked me what size I was and I said I didn't know she said, "Oh, I think you look like a small." I counldn't even believe it. ONly 10 months ago I was wearing 3xl from there. Then it was on to a store I only dreamed of shopping in, Banana Republic. I found a georgous pair of dress slacks and a blouse there. The pants are a size 6 and the blouse is a medium. When I told the clerk, I thought I needed a large, she asked me why? I told her I didn't know. She said a large would be too big in the shoulders and that the medium fit just fine. I told her I thought my pants were too tight too and I thought she was going to grab my butt when she was checking them out and she said the 6 was just right. They do look really good. I just can't get used to the new me yet. Then we went to Aeropostle and I got a new pair of corduroys, a blouse, and a sweater and then to Victoria's for some new fun undies. I really have some inpiration to keep on track now to keep fitting into these new things. We are going to leave tomorrow. There really isn't anything more that we can to as a family and I really don't want to be on the road all day on Thursday, which is the anniversary of Kris' death. So we are heading out tomorrow and going to Kalamazoo. I am going to get my new tatoo there in her memory. I hope I can find an angel that looks good. I should go and get Garrett settled in for bed. August 22, 2005 Mondays.... I hate them....and even more after being off for 10 days. Well here I am back at the grind stone. I did get my new tattoo, but not an angel. I got a dove representing the Holy Spirit with an olive branch. Under his belly is where I scripted her name and above one wing I had them add the chinese symbol for hope and put a small red heart in his chest. This signifies peace, hope, and love between us sisters. I really like it. We had fun in Kalamazoo and left on Saturday morning and spent the day in Gurnee at the outlet mall. I got some more things and then we headed for home thinking we would find a hotel but they were all booked up so we wound up coming all the way home. We left Brooke and Grant at mom's house and we came home and unpacked and cleaned up the house at little what needed to be done for the open house. Then we packed up the cats and went more shopping. I needed shoes to go with all my new clothes of course!!! I got some tall brown boots and some cute black high heeled mary janes. I was really excited to see that I lost 5 pounds on vacation. I went and worked out this morning too. I hope to be 140 by my one year anniversary. That is only 10 more pounds to go. bye for now. August 29, 2005 Only 9 more pounds to my personal goal. I want to say that I have lost 1/2 of my body weight. I weighed in at 149.6 this morning. I was kind of scared because I feel like I snacked more than I should have over the weekend. I am feeling stressed about this house thing. We are buying a new house and ours has not sold yet. Everyone, including myself said it would sell fast and it has not. We dropped the price now so we will see what happens this week. It is making my husband crabby too. We got up and biked this morning. I went 16 miles, so that made me feel better about myself. It is time to get back on track and lose these last few pounds. I am taking back some pants that I got on vacation because they are too big. I went yesterday and had 2 pairs put on hold in a 5/6 where I had bought a 7/8 on vacation. I can't even believe that I am this size. The funny thing is when I hold up these pants sometimes, they seem so big. I wonder why I see things that way. I look at my old pants and they don't even seem real anymore. I go and see my therapist tomorrow, maybe she can help me. bye for now. October 10, 2005 One more day until my one year anniversary. I can't belive it has been one year already. I started a new job today in Stoughton in the ER. I am kind of scared to start over in my career but excited too. I am in a lot better physical shape than I was when Kris died and I feel like I can do a better job for them. I will miss the scale at Dean and I feel nervous that I cannot weigh myself so much. I don't know if I can trust another scale. I weighed 148 last Friday. I am now wearing size 4 jeans and small tops. I think this is where I will finally end up. I still would like to be 140 but I don't know if I can get there. One thing I know I have to do, is stop sneaking the carbs. I started over today with that mentality too. No more bad carbs. I am still writing everything down. Not calculating all the calories though. I am still going to get in the protein too. I like the protein powder and had Mark order some more Achieve iced coffees. I think I am going to work out tonight. I called Mike but he has not called me back yet. I would like to lift weights too. I will write again soon. Bye for now. Lori November 19,2005 Things are going good. I weighed myself last week and was 143. That is 137 pounds gone. My new job is really fun. Everyone is so nice and I am learning a lot. I am consistently still wearing a size 4 jeans and smalls in tops. I will have to wait to have my plastic surgery until next fall now since I have started the new job. I think I should be there at least a year before I ask for 6 weeks off. Plus, I would like to have the time off when the weather is not that nice outside so I won't get depressed that I cant to out and exercise right away. I met with a personal trainer the other day and he set me up with a new weight training program. I think it will be fun. I would love to see some muscles. Well I just wanted to drop a quick update. I have to get ready to go to Brooke's swim meet. see ya all later. Lori December 14, 2005 Still at 143. That's ok. I think this is where I may just stay. I still would like to get to 140 though just to say that I have lost "half of myself" Mark and I went to Chicago two weeks ago and I bought a new outfit at Banana Republic. A nice pair of slacks in a size 2 and a small sweater. I guess I can't complain about that. We had a really nice time together shopping and at his Holiday Party. Of course I came home and had gained some weight but I was able to get it off quick. I started a spinning class and I love it. It is pretty intense, but really fun. I bought some bike shoes to clip into the bike and some pedals to mount onto my new bike so hopefully by next summer I will be used to them after practicing all winter on the spinning bike. I got into an accident with the Expedition 2 weeks ago on the first snow. Right on Hwy 51. I put it into the ditch. Well down the ravine, over a creek and almost into a tree. Luckily the only damage is to the front bumper. That spawned a hunt for a new vehicle for me and so today I got to pick up my new present. A new Chevy Avalache, Candy Apple Red!!! It is awesome with all the bells and whistles. The only thing is that I didn't get to go to class today. I hope it is not snowing too hard tomorrow because I want to go and work out in the morning. I am working until 3am tonight. I will be on my own starting in January. I think it is really going good. I have learned a lot and am feeling a lot more confident. Well, bye for now. December 21, 2005 Well, I may get to 140 the hard way. I think I should not have eaten some peanuts the other day. I am paying for it now. I have had this bad pain in my left side since yesterday, well really since Monday night. I vomited up some salad that I ate and then had some crackers and felt fine so I just thought it was the salad. Then on Monday morning after my workout I had a little pain again and had some cheese and crackers and the pain came back. I laid down and took a nap and decided that I would just do clear liquids for the next 24 hours and see what happens. I had the dry heaves again when I got here to work but have been holding my own. I have been keeping everything down. I just don't ever want to wind up in the hospital with another surgery or something. I will have to be better at watching what I eat. Well I should get back to work. bye

October 29, 2004 I had my first post op appt on Wednesday and have lost 21 pounds. I feel very good and my blood pressure was excellent. I haven't been taking my meds very good because I cannot gag down them when they are crushed so I was glad to see that the blood pressure was good. I saw the dietician the next day and she said I can move onto pureed foods now. I tried some cottage cheese one day and then some farmers cheese, 1ounce, the next. Both went good. I went shopping and couldn't believe how long it took me in the store because I was reading all the labels. I want to start working out more now and am trying to decide what kinds of things to do. I think I will go back to water aerobics this next week and maybe check into the cardio class at Spartan fitness. bye for now. October 30, 2004 We went to Brooke's swim meet in Lake Geneva last night. I did good with my drinking but the whole team wanted to go out for supper afterward at Chili's. I was so scared but Mark was very supportive and I ordered the brocolli cheese soup and only had 1/2 cup and one of his grilled shrimp. The waitress kind of looked at me funny when I didn't ordered anything to drink though. It was hard not to drink with my meal but I made it. We are going shopping today for some tofu and to look around at Whole Foods. I think I will also get the ingredients for some homeade hummus. I got the recipe off the internet the other day. Well, should go, we have a soccer game to go to first. November 6, 2004 Things are going really good. Sometimes I feel like I am not going that good though. I still walk by the mirror and see the same person. I can tell I have lost weight though because all my clothes are getting too big. I cleaned out my closet today and packed everything up for a big garage sale next summer. I also put an ad on the water cooler at my work to see if anyone is interested in buying some now. I am having a hard time eating lately I think. I tried some imitation crab and it came back up. Too rich I think because I didn't even eat that much and I ate it super slow. Nothing even sounds good to eat right now. I guess that is a good thing. It gets really frustrating though. Not even things I liked before sound good anymore. I really like refried beans with salsa and hot sauce and that is about it. I have been going to the Princeton Club and it feels good when I am done. I still hate to see myself in the mirror though. Today we went shopping for protein shakes and bars. Everything tastes too sweet to me though. I finally got to one of my goals though, I am wearing one of Mark's sweaters in a large. That is fun. Gail was walking by my house today when we got home and I took a nice long (long for me) walk with her. She really books it. It was fun to talk to someone who has had the surgery and is doing well. She is down over 100 pounds now. We also bought the TAE-BO dvd because Brooke does it at swimming and she will be a good inspiration here at home. Well I am going to have some more beans now. TA TA NOVEMBER 23, 2004 Well tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I feel like I have so much to be thankful for. My family and my friends, my health, and my new life. I am doing pretty good. I throw up every so often when I eat too fast or take that one last bite that I should not have. I get discouraged often when I get on the scale because it is not going down as fast as I think it should. I had my mom measure me last week and I have lost inches. Three from my waist and 2 from my hips. Mark and I continue to go to the Princeton club and I bought some new jeans from the Avenue this weekend and they were stretch size 16. I could not even believe it. I have lost 33 pounds since October 11. I guess that is good. Mark and I went to a wedding this weekend. I did really good with my eating. I was worried about what I would have but I managed with a small piece of chicken breast, about 2 teaspoons of the mashed potatoes and 3 carrot bites. Beforehand they had hors devoures and I had 2 cheese cubes, a strawberry and 2 crackers. I even had 3 sips of champagne. We danced and it was so fun. I got on the scale today and have lost 3 pounds this week. I guess that is better than gaining 3. Maybe the slower I lose the better and easier it will be to keep it off. Well, Happy Thanksgiving everyone and take care. DECEMBER 13, 2004 Well I did have a nice Thanksgiving. I even lost 6 pounds. Someone from work here said they know where they went. ha ha I have been doing good they say. I guess I need to stop reading and comparing myself to everyone else. I saw the dietician and surgeon last week and they both said I am doing great. I am having a hard time getting in enough protein and she gave me some good suggestions. I am in love with Whey Cool. I kind of ice cream treat that has 20 grams of protein in a 4 oz serving. It is low fat and low sugar too. I still throw up once in a while but I think I eat too much or too fast. Last night was the rememberance service for The Compassionate Friends. Both mom and Ronelle went. I thought it was nice. Mark and I are hoping to get away to Chicago this weekend. I sure hope we can. It has been too long. Ronelle is going to take Brooke and Garrett and Mom will take Grant barring her physical goes ok. She gets so freaked out by that. I am going to the Dean support meating tonight. I forgot my workout shoes or I would have gone there afterward. I think I will get up early and go workout in the morning before work. I like doing that too. Well I should go. I have to finish up here at work. TTFN DECEMBER 23, 2004 The support group meeting was fun. They had some food, non of which I could really eat though. I did have a couple of strawberries and 2 bottles of water. I am better about getting in my protein now. I won a door prize, a book on walking for fitness which I am reading now. I have been going to the Princeton Club in the morning which is working out better since I am tired when I get home and don't want to go back out into the cold. Mark and I did go to Chicago last weekend and that was the first time since surgery that I broke down and cried since I could not have any of the good stuff I would have before surgery. The cheesecake factory is there. But really last time we went there I vomited anyway. I think it would have been more fun if I could have tried on more. I still am not at a size yet where I can walk in and try on anything. It was nice to spend time with Mark and the train ride was fun. Our hotel room was nice and we rented the Bourne Supremacy. It was very cold on Sunday so we did not go to the museum. I got sick from my omlet in the morning and we just went to the train station and waited there. There was a big Avenue store there and I did get some new clothes there. I got size 16w pants and 14/16 shirts so I guess I should be proud of that. My goal was to lose 50 pounds by Christmas and I had lost 49 as of yesterday morning and I worked out this morning so I think I will make it. We took Cooper to the HUmane Society today. I know it was the right thing to do but it was still hard. We are not home enough to take care of him. We are going to look at a new house tonight in Sun Prairie. I would really like to move and get the boys in there own bedrooms. It is so boring here at work. No doctors are in and not too many calls either. I am leaving at 4pm. I will weigh myself tomorrow and hopefully the scale will say 228. Bye

JUNE 27, 2004 Well now I am 36, almost 37 and a lot has happened in my life since the last time I posted. It has been almost a year. I did get my new job and also new insurance but not one that will pay for the surgery so I am still a self pay. OH WELL, It is worth it to me. My sister died of depression in August so that has been hard on our whole family. But I haven't gained any weight in the past year, thank God. I have met with the PA and had my initial appt. with her to get the process going. I had all my blood tests done earlier this month and everything was normal except for my B12 level is low so I have to have shots every month to get the level up until surgery. I also am very allergic to latex but I knew that. I had my pysch eval last week and that went very well. I have a very good support system all around . me and have been seeing a therapist ever since my sister died anyway. I see the nutritionist this week. I have to lose 10 pounds before surgery, which I hope to have in October. I really would like to lose 30. My husband and I went to GNC today and bought some whey protein shakes for me to start trying. I hope they will help me in the start to lose weight. August 12, 2004 I had my consults with the endocrinologist and the pulmonologist recently and all has checked out fine. The Bariatric team took my info to the patient care conference yesterday and I was deemed a good candidate for surgery. I now just have to wait until the coordinator of the bariatric program gets back from vacation next in 2 weeks and I will be given a date. My husband and I went to the bank so all of the finances are in order to pay at this point. I wish my insurance covered this. I will still appeal because maybe a miracle will happen and I will be approved. August 31, 2004 Well I didn't pass my home, 2 cycle sleep study so I had to stay overnight at Stoughton Hospital for a polysomnogram last night. It was kind of fun. I would have never believed it until I experienced it, but I have never slept better in my life than after he hooked up the CPAP. I felt great this morning. Ready to conquer the world. I HAVE MY DATE !!!!! OCTOBER 12,2004 WILL BE THE START OF A NEW LIFE FOR ME. I kind of likened it to feeling like being pregnant. The feelings I am having. It feels exciting to know that I am going to have this neat life with all kinds of changes and fun things that I am going to be able to do, but I have to go through some scarry stuff first. Sometimes I am afraid I will not make it, but I know that Kristin will not let that happen to me. SEPTEMBER 5,2004 Not much going on. I got my CPAP machine yesterday and used it last night. I felt so much better already this morning and am sitting up right now at midnight writing this. We did a lot of stuff today that normally on the weekend I would be too tired to do. We even washed the siding on the house. I hope I feel this good all the time so I can get up and exercise. I would really like to lose another 10 pounds before surgery. TTFN I WANT TO THANK SHANNON FOR HELPING ME TO MAKE THIS PAGE SO BEAUTIFUL AND HELPING ME DEDICATE IT TO KRISTIN. My sister was so beautiful and could always do the things that I couldn't do because she was the "skinny" one. I thought she had everything and yet she still wasn't happy. I know I will still have burdens to bear and will have to learn new ways of taking care of myself, not with food. But I have to be there for my kids to do the things with them that Aunt Kris always did. She would taking my daughter hiking at Devils Lake, and on long walks in the summer along nature trails. She would take her to Great America in the Summer and did just last summer a few weeks before she committed suicide as I think her last goodbye to Brooke. I have to be that part of the mom now that she was to my kids. Sometimes I am scared that I won't make it, that I will be that statistic that has some horrible thing happen to them, but then I remember that I have a special angel up in heaven just for me, and she knew that I was wanting to do this even before she died and I know she is rooting for me and she will not let anything happen to me. SEPTEMBER 11, 2004 Just in a holding pattern. I have been using my CPAP every night and doing ok with it. I still find it hard to fall asleep at first though and it is not the most romantic device in the world to be wearing. I have been writing down questions for the surgeon when I meet with him so I don't forget. I know working in the health care field, just how busy the docs are and they like it when patients are prepared. Mark is leaving for his business trip tomorrow afternoon. I hate it when he is gone. I can't take care of myself very well. I never have had to. I need him to write things down for me so I don't forget everything I need to do when he is gone with the kids and such. I can't believe all the emails I have gotten from people wishing me well on the upcoming surgery. That is so nice and supportive. It really reinforces my decision when I have doubts. Well I should get going. Bye for now. SEPTEMBER 18, 2004 I have been so sick. The kids go back to school and then they bring stuff home and mom gets sick. I had a 101 fever on Wednesday. Came home from work a little early and went right to bed. Then my fever broke and I felt a little better but still I was up coughing for 2 nights straight. I finally got some antibiotics and some cough medicine with codeine and slept a lot better last night. I exercised on the treadmill for 10 minutes today. I don't know how I am going to keep up with that part of the program because my legs hurt so bad when I walk. I hope some of the weight comes off fast so maybe the walking will be easier. I am going to go to water aerobics this week too. I really want to be down to 260 before the surgery and it is only 3 weeks away. I was 273 the last time I checked. Well not much else so I will go for now. September 27, 2004 Well I saw the dietician for my pre-op last week and I actually have lost 0.7 pound. woo hoo, big deal. Well at least I haven't gained. It was very informative. I didn't know that you could do so many things with clear/full liquids. My husband and I went shopping for all my stuff the other night. It was kind of fun picking out all my "new foods" We went on an eat fest this weekend. We started out at Oscars in Milwaukee for custard and burgers and then went shopping at IKEA in Schamburg, IL. That was the best part I think. Then we went to SuperDawg for supper and had Chicago style dogs and malts. I got so sick. I know I dont love food that much to keep on doing this to my body. Only 2 more weeks and my life will change forever. The kids have been asking so many questions about what foods I can and cant have after surgery and the kinds of things I will be able to do with them. Well I should go. I am so pissed. I just entered in the entire November matrix and now I lost it. I think I will just do it tomorrow. TTFN October 7, 2004 !!!!!!!!!!!!!! ONLY 4 DAYS LEFT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had my preop with Dr. Huepenbecker on Friday, October 1st. That was the first time I had met him personally in private as his patient. I have heard him in group before and at the initial informational lecture. He is very nice and takes his time to answer all questions. He is very direct and honest about the expected outcomes and possible complications. But also very optimistic on how to avoid problems and on how to maximize this tool for the best outcomes. I then had my preop physical with Dr. Hermus on Monday, October 4th. I am good to go. I had a bunch of labs drawn yesterday, a urinalysis and an ekg. Today I have to see the pulmonologist for the official results of my sleep study even though I have been using the CPAP since I had it. Go figure. I went to the Meriter group on Tuesday night. They have a lot of fun there. I met a lot of nice people and it is closer for me to go there after work then to the west side. I might just continue with theirs. Gail is going to be my angel while I am off (Thanks, Gail.) Well not much else. I will write if anything comes up. October 10, 2004 The eve of my surgery. I finished my prep a while ago. That was fun. I am glad I followed my friends advice and started clear liquids yesterday instead of after the prep. I think it made it alot easier. I don't really know how I feel. Sometimes excited and sometimes scared. The kids are all nervous in their own way. Brooke had a meltdown a little while ago. Crying her eyes out. I told her that I have done everything to ensure that this will be a safe surgery for me and if something happens now it is in God's hands. I hope she understands. I hope I understand. I didn't write any letters to them like Mark wanted me to. I was too afraid. I just want them to know that I love them more than I have loved anything in my life. More than myself, my parents, my sister. They are a part of me. I felt them grow inside of me and I nurtured them. I want to and will be here to continue to care for and nurture them forever. I have received so many emails this week. It is neat to think that people are actally reading my profile like I have read others for over 2 years. I hope I am an inspiration to some. Well I should go upstairs and spend some time with my husband and drink some more before I can't anymore tonight. See you on the other side. (that seems fun to write :) October 16, 2004 Well I am home. I came home on Thursday, October 14. It really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. We got to the hospital at about 6am. I had to wait for a while and then everything happened at once. I was wheeled to the OR at 7:45. They started my surgery at a little after 8am and were done by 10am. My surgeon said it went great, "text book". They don't allow any residents to help so that made me feel better. Plus I had a good nurse friend of mine in the OR as the scrub nurse looking out for me and she said it really did go well. I got back to my room about noon and was in a little pain. I did not have a PCA but had to ask for IV dilaudid every hour if I needed it. I also got Toradol IV which worked even better than the Dilaudid I thought. I got up for the first time 8pm and it was a lot easier than I thought it would be too. I remember how much it hurt when I had my c/sections and this was a piece of cake to roll out and get up. I walked out in the hall to the room next door and back. It felt really good to get up. I was sooooo thirsty though and could only wet my lips and mouth with a sponge. No sucking on it. I then got back to bed and rested until about 4am when I wanted to get up again. I walked to the nurses station that time. The thing that really bothered me the most was the catheter. I hate those things. After that walk, I sat up in the recliner for the rest of the morning. I was taken for my swallow test at about 8:30am. I had a student nurse that day from the University. So I got a nice pampering from her. The swallow test was horrid. That stuff is so nasty and bitter. I am glad I only had to swallow to gulps. They said it looked like no leaks but I would not know for sure until the doctor looked at it. My best friend Katie came to spend the morning with me so that helped pass some time. I got a lot of visitors while I was there. Once the word came in that the swallow test showed officially no leaks they took out my catheter and I was allowed to start on the bariatric diet. One ounce of Optisource per hour. That strawberry never tasted so good. My student nurse helped me clean up and I got my own jammies on. What heaven. I sat in the chair for the rest of the day. Brooke and Grandma came to visit me later in the afternoon and Mark came after work for a while. On Wednesday I got to take a shower and just more of the same. Rest, drink my protein, and walk short walks 3 times a shift. They let me add water to my drink. So now I was up to 1 ounce of water and 1 ounce of optisource per hour. I didn't go home on Wednesday because I still couldn't get in all my fluids. So I stayed another night. Gail (my angel) came to visit me and that was great. To be able to talk to her and ask some specific questions now that I had had the surgery. The only problems I had was that I just could not fall asleep. Wednesday night the nurse finally gave me a benedryl at 3am and then I slept until 6am when I got woke up by the doctor. My first night home was hard because I really couldn't get comfortable in the bed. I did sleep from about 10pm until 5am though but I was so stiff. So I had Mark bring up the recliner from the basement. Friday my mom came to take care of me and I pretty much just sat in the recliner and drank my fluids and napped. She and I went for 2 small walks to the neighbors driveway and back. That felt good just getting out and smelling the fresh air. I had a little melt down that night though when I saw the kids eating pop tarts. I was head hungry I think. I talked with Gail and she said it will get better. Today I am bored too. It is my favorite day of the year. Toy Day at Farm and Fleet and this is the first year I did not go. I love to shop and being stuck at home is the hardest part for me. Mark and I went for a walk almost to the end of our block and I sat with everyone and low fat strained cheese broccoli soup. It was good. I have to help Brooke with her Social Studies project so I should go now. I will write back soon.

JUNE 1, 2003 Been a while since I posted, I was denied right away with no ifs, ands or buts about it. They have a written exclusion policy with no ability to even appeal. I was pretty bummed about that and decided to try on my own again. Blah, blah, blah, No luck, I went to see the dietician and did good for a while but then right back up again. I have decided to try the WISH center. Since I will be self pay I see they finance. I will not be about to have surgery until next February because I need to save some vacation time so I will be paid when I am off. I hope the summer goes fast. JULY 30, 2003 I dont think I am going to the wish center. Too much money. I am hoping that one of the HMO's in the area will come through and start paying for this life saving surgery. In the mean time I am going to see an endocrinologist on Aug 11th. It seems I have hyperinsulinemia. (Too much insulin in my bloodstream) which is a precursor to diabetes. It also causes high blood pressure(which I have) and swelling (have that too) Maybe she can get me on some medicine to help and that will help me to lose weight too. I am also going to ask her honest opinion of wls and if it is a good choice for me then or if I would be at an increased risk for more complications. I also have a job interview today for a day job. YEAH.

NOVEMBER 1, 2002 I contacted the surgeons office and requested a packet on lap RNY and called my pcp to schedule an appt but he is booked until December but if I call back on Monday, maybe there will be a cancellation and I can get in to talk to him about it. NOVEMBER 2, 2002 The surgeons packet came today. I have to document 2 weeks worth of diet diary. I think I will try to think back to last week and make that one up as best I can. I was very depressed since my husband was away on business so I did eat a lot of junk. Hope I can get into the PCP on Monday. My daughter is having a sleep over tonight. I feel embarrassed when I meet the other mothers and I am the biggest one. I bought a new Bible today with some good references to life lessons that I will try to read when I need encouragement and also a book for parents on pre-teens and a daily devotional/life lesson discussion book for all of us to talk about at the dinner table. NOVEMBER 4, 2002 I called the pcp office this morning and I can get in at 11:15. I am nervous. I have been researching this site all morning getting "my ducks in a row". I hope he agrees with my decision and is supportive. I really have not known him that long since we switched insurances last year. I had the approval of my former pcp and he had written a letter of referral to the surgeon in 2000, so I will tell this new pcp that and hopefully he will write a letter too. I have all my diets and co-morbitities lined out for him so we will see how it goes. I hope I can get things rolling soon. NOVEMBER 5, 2002 I saw my pcp yesterday. He was so supportive and agrees with me that I have tried everything and have the right attitude and reasonable expectations. He is going to write the letter of referral to the surgeon and basically asked me what I wanted him to write. I made sure he knows that he has to stress that this surgery is a medical necessary and not that I am the one that just wants to have it. I then went to my prior doctor who also agreed with me in 2000 that I should have the surgery and am getting all those records transferred to my new pcp. I told my doctor that I think I should have some labs drawn and he said sure so I am going to the lab this morning. I have been fasting for 12 hours, all night, which is hard since I work the night shift and I worked last night and that is basically how we all stay awake is to eat all night. NOVEMBER 14, 2002 Made it through my lab tests, but I still haven't found out the results yet. I turned in all my paperwork this week and called the dr. office yesterday and they said to expect a call to schedule an appt in about 2 weeks. It's so hard to wait. I met my new friend Tina yesterday that I found on this site. HI TINA. It was really exciting to be able to talk to someone who has gone through the procedure and can answer some of my questions. I guess I will update when I hear some news.

OCTOBER 2002 I am a 34, soon to be 35 year old mother of 3 great kids(most of the time) They are 9, 4, and 2 and very busy. I have been overweight all my life. The first diet aid I can remeber my mother giving me was these little square chocolate "candy" things called aids. You ate 1-2 before meals with a hot cup of coffee and your appetite was supposed to diminish. I was only 10. I don't really remember if I did ok or not but must not have since here I am. Next I tried The Cambridge diet which my mother bought from a lady at her work. I lost weight but always felt hungry, cheated, and felt so guilty afterward. I was still between 10-11. We also counted calories and I went to weight watchers when I was in fifth grade. She said she would pay my weekly dues, (only $5 back then) if I lost weight and if I did not I would have to pay. I lost like 25 pounds but gained it all back and more. They got sick of driving me into the meetings if I wasn't doing good and so it just stopped. I then counted calories on my own and did Richard Simmons. Always lost, Always gained. Went back and forth between weight watchers several times. Each time the weekly dues were higher and higher and so my weight went as well. I met a great guy in 1991 and wanted to badly to lose weight before my wedding I went to Nutri/System. I lost 80 pounds and felt so beautiful and proud of myself on my wedding day. We went on a cruise and I came back 15 pounds heavier and just kept on gaining from there. I was 209 when I got pregnant with my first daugher and gained 30 pounds. I lost almost all in the four years between her and my secound baby but continued to try to diet. I was 215 when I got pregnant with my son in 1997 and 250 when I had him. Two years later I had not lost that weight and was pregnant again and went up to 292 on the day that I delivered. I lost some and am where I am today at about 278. I researched wls 6 months after my last son was born and my pcp wrote a referral to the surgeon, I had an appt with the surgeon but chickened out before I even went. Got too scared about not making through the surgery and leaving a little baby and two others behind. Well I have found God in my life again, have several health problems related to this excess weight and have decided now is the time to go forward and have the surgery. I have a different insurance now, so I have to start all over in the process with a new pcp and surgeon. My husband is very supportive and optomistic that everything will work out with the approval and so forth. I wish the process were faster.