losing_it86

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I am so beyong irritable... everything annoys and irritates me way to easily.... and i am so sick of getting the run around with my dang insurance and dr and stae and blah trying to get a freakin shrink. I need halp and i need help now! I am tired of feeling so low  and then high and all over the place and my lows are way to low my thoughts scare me... uhg... i need help not just for me but for my fiance and our children! I cant have them living with this beast of a person.. uhg i hate myself these days... i just wanna b happy...  :/ is that so hard?

gained 10lbs.... :( i wanna shoot myself uhhg... time to start crackin down hard again on exersize and what i put into my mouth!




FLASHING LIGHTS AND BLOOD SHOT EYES EVERYTHINGS RACING AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT....

 So on the 2nd we went to the misfits concert. Its my fiances favorite band so when my girlfriend told me that she had tickets I was all over that! We had a good time ended up leaving early though because my girlfriend got a phone call from her mother and brother saying they had her son in the emergancy room guess he hit his head poor lil dude. But in all it was a good time :D 

Me and my babe

I have been struggling off and on with depression since I was 15yrs old... I am 25 now... things started to look up and my moods were normal a lil swing here and there but nothing major... and then recently BOOM  outa know where I am hit again! It sucks there is nothing in my life at the moment that I can really complain about nothing that would make me feel so overwhelmingly depressed :/ I feel like I am going insane and my own thoughts scare me... I decided that I need some major help so I walked into my Dr's office this morning broke down crying and begged her to help me told her everything I was feeling and thinking and told her how there is no reason for all of it. She gave me a 30 day prescription for Wellbutrin and called and got me a shrink dude to see to help figure out what is going on  I feel like I am losing my mind over here! 

 My eldest son Noah just turned 3 yesterday. He was my reason for getting RYN. I had the surgery when he was 8months old. I wanted to be able to keep up with him lol. Now I can. I can run around with him all day and play at the park i can go down the slides and climb through the tubes with him

 

 320LBS                                                                                                      175LBSi still have about 30lbs i would LOVE to lose :) 

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