lovinmysoldier
First off my name is Nicki Majors and I am 22yrs old. I am happily married to my amazing husband Matt of almost 3yrs. Matt is currently deployed to Iraq. Please remember him in your prayers.
Ok, so a little about why I'm having the lap. gastric bypass (RNY). Since I can remember I've always been bigger than most. I started swimming on the local swim team when I was 5yrs old. I was a big 5yr. old. I swam for 9yrs. and nevr lost weight from it. Gained muscle, yes but kept getting bigger too. (fat wise). Kids in school are cruel. I was made fun of so bad and so often. My self-esteem was dying and fast. I have been on diet after diet since I was about 8yrs. old. All I ever heard was "Nicki don't eat that, No Nicki, You don't need anymore Nicki" and I didn't understand why all the other kids could but not me. So once I got to high school..WOW it was a different story. Still cruel kids, but I'd just play it off like whatever, you didn't hurt me and go home and cry. I then turned to the internet and acohol and sex. I hated who I was and wanted to disappear and with these things I was able too! I just let myself go..."who cares you are fat and no one will ever love you", is what I always told myself...and for a short time, it worked.
When I graduated high school I ran from God and ran fast. I tried to move out of my parents home, get as far away as I could...I was done with that life. Until one day I decided to visit The Baptist College of Florida (due to the influence of some great friends) and totally loved it. I went to BCF for a year and God totally changed my heart and outlook on life. I finally loved me because of who I am, not what other people think. Once I truly stopped running from God, by the use of the internet I met my husband. We did an online bible study together and then met face to face. After 4months of dating we were married. I count my blessings everyday!
So of course once Matt returned from Iraq (2005-2006) we wanted to start our family. Well I found out in July 2005 that I had diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and anemia all at once. WOW did that ever kick me in face. I didn't know what to do, yes I had heard of all this things but didn't know enough to understand how they could affect me. My doctor didn't act concerned so neither did I. I didn't take my meds right at all and it caused my body to do crazy things. Finally Feb. 2006 I got a doctor who cared and by this time I had fatty liver disease too. I got depressed and felt like I wasn't needed in this world, because who cares about another fat person. It was terrible...I was falling back into that girl I was in high school and I didn't care.
WOW... I reached a time after finding other things wrong where I thought everyone only saw my fat. Why did Matt marry me? I'm ugly, fat and there is nothing attractive about that. I was worried...not for my life but that my husband wouldn't love me. Well, yall just have to know my husband, but he told me that he sees a beautiful woman everytime he looks at me and that he sees past, way past, all my imperfections and sees a heart of gold. He told me..."Nicki I'll never stop loving you, even if you get to big to walk." WOW, he was in love with ME, committed to ME..I'd never felt that before. And it was just what I needed to hear. That he was there for me no matter what.
So I tell you, I am writing today because SEPT 19, 2007 I will be having the gastric bypass surgery done. NOT for looks, attention, or anything of that nature...but for health reasons...HELLO I'm only 22 yrs. old and I have all these medical problems. We want a family, and we want to try to start that family when Matt returns home in August 2008. I'm not looking for a quick fix, I'm looking for a life changing experinece that will help me live to see my 30th birthday. This weight it literally killing me. I am blessed to have such a supportive family and group of friends. I thank God for them daily. So I wil report on my journey as soon as it starts on Sept 19, 2007.
