Maddielq
I'm scared however very excited. I’m looking forward to getting a date.
I have been heavy for the majority of my life and I have been battling with my weight for quite sometime. I blame myself for my children being over weight. They have learned from there mother how to be eat unhealthy. I’m hoping that this surgery will not only help me but my family. God willing this surgery will be a new beginning for me and my family.
-Madeline
1/21/2006
Today I’m feeling a little down. Three weeks ago (December 30th, 2005) I went to my Primary Doctor to advise him of the six month diet history letter the insurance company requires. He guaranteed me that he will start writing the letter. Well again that was three weeks ago and still no letter. All I seem to do is think about getting a surgery date.
I hate calling my primary doctors office and asking them the same questions. Is the letter ready yet! What a nag they must think I am.
I feel like my life is on hold. My husband asked me what I thought about going to Puerto Rico for my Birthday (next month) and I told him I couldn’t make plans because I don’t want that to interfere with the surgery. I can’t plan a vacation because I’m not sure when and if I’m going to have the surgery.
-Madeline
1/24/06
Well today I finally received a copy of the letter. I called Dr Ferzli office and they did receive a copy. WOW… I only asked three weeks ago. Thank you God, I think I was going to lose my mind.
Anyway, I have an appointment to meet Dr Ferzli on Monday (January 30th). I spooked to an assistant at Dr. Ferzli’s office and she said that it usually takes about 2 to 4 weeks after meeting with the doctor to receive an approval and a date.
Please pray for me!
-Madeline
1/30/06
Ok…. I went to meet the surgeon today and that went well. He was very nice and answered all of my questions; however I thought he was a little distant. As I was sitting there his cell phone rang. He excused himself and answered the call. As I sat there he had his conversation without any concern of my time. Anyway, as I asked him several questions I had concerning the surgery he didn’t look at me he just kept writing notes in my file. I thought that was a little rude. However I have to say he did answer all my questions. I don’t want to judge him because I a little sensitive these days and to be honest with you my patience is running thin. Lately every thing upsets me.
Anyhow, I found out that my paperwork hasn’t be submitted to the insurance company because I still missing information from my Primary Doctor. I asked the nurse to call my PCP and at first it seemed as if she was annoyed, but she did call. When I got home I called my Primary Doctor’s office and spoke to a nurse who always helps me and she said she had faxed the rest of the information to the surgeon’s office.
I plan on calling the surgeon’s office tomorrow to verify the receipt of the remainder of the documents.
Still waiting on a date and approval
-Madeline
2/21/2006
I have a date. I can’t believe it. March 1st is when the surgery will be preformed (Ash Wednesday). Again, I cant tell you how excited I am.
-Madeline
2/28/2006
Ok it’s about 12:30 am and I have about a million things running around in my head. Thoughts of not making it back home. Tomorrow I am scheduled to have my surgery and I can’t tell you how nervous I am. I had to pull over on the highway and call Angel (a friend) because I was just loosing my mind. I’m scared, what if I don’t make it back home. What if something goes wrong? I don’t know if I could do this.
-Madeline
3/6/2006
On January 30th I wrote about my experience meeting with Dr. Ferzli. I have to tell you my opinion about him has changed. As they were prepping me the day of the surgery I couldn’t help but start crying. I remember Dr. Ferzli wiping my tears from my face. Like I said, the past couple of months I was very sensitive. Everything and anything anyone said upset me.
Special Thanks To:
David: (My Husband) for not leaving my side and for all your support and tolerance during this journey
Mom: For your unconditional love
Jasmine: (My Sister) for taking care of my kids. I know they where in good hands with you. They love you so much.
Angel: (Friend) for listening to me and encouraging me. God I cant start to tell you what a wreck I was when I talked to you.
Dawn: (Friend) for just listening.
Thank You!
Thank You Dr. Ferzli you are truly a blessing!
-Madeline
3/8/2006
It was a long journey, but I survived. As stated before I had the Surgery on Wednesday March 1st. (Good day Ash Wednesday). On the Road to recovery.... looking forward to the new me. I know its going to take some time, however I so excited to see what the future brings.
-Madeline
3/16/2006
Well today makes two weeks and and day since I had the surgery. I'm down 18 lbs. It’s been a difficult two weeks let me tell you. Every thing I eat makes me sick. I pray I can stop thinking like my pre-surgery days. I found my self getting sick just by smelling food. There’s days I don’t eat at all, or if I do eat its maybe one babyfood and that’s it. I know that’s not good. I haven’t found a protein shake I like yet. I have tried several.... however can’t seem to find one I can tolerate.
On a different note I have to say my husband has been Wonderful. He has been so supportive of me since day one. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate him. Thank You David. I love you more than words can say. I can tell he worries about me eating. Well that’s all for now. Till next time
-Madeline
3/21/2006
Well, tomorrow will be 3 weeks since the surgery. I have lost 23 lbs. I returned back to work yesterday. I never thought I would miss work as much as I did. Let me tell you…. Staying home and doing nothing is not for me. After work I went to the gym and walked on the treadmill for 35 minutes and got on the bike for 20 minutes. Today I plan on going back to the gym and getting in the pool with the kids. I would like to lose at least 30 lbs by the end of this month. Keep your fingers crossed for me!
I know I wrote about my husband before, but I just want everyone to know that he has been so supportive of me and my decision on getting the surgery. He truly understands me and truly worries about me. He’s always suggesting things for me to eat and makes sure I take my vitamins. I’m truly a lucky girl! Well until the next time.
On the Losers side!
-Madeline
3/26/2006
This is truly a learning curve; as of today I’m down 23 lbs. On Wednesday 29th (3/29/06) its going to be four weeks post surgery. My goal for the first month was 30 lbs….. Doesn’t seem like I’m going to hit that number.
Learning Curve: Yesterday I went to a 50th Birthday Party. I have to admit it was a little difficult. All the food there seemed delicious, however I didn’t attempt it. I’m proud of myself. I ate two very small Swedish meatballs, and one piece of broccoli. It took me about 30 minutes to eat it but I did and kept it down.
I’ve trying to go to the gym at least four times a week. I walk for about 35 minutes on the treadmill and then get on the bike for about 15-20 minutes. I’m really trying to get exercise part of my routine. Anyway till next time.
-Madeline
3/27/2006
I went to see the nutritionist today. To my surprise I’m down 29 lbs. I can’t tell you how happy I am right now. I just might hit my goal for this month of 30lbs. Laura the nutritionist gave me some suggestions on some foods. She’s always a pleasure to talk to; she seems to be truly concerned with my progress. As I was getting dress this morning I didn’t know what to wear ( typical women ) I went into the closet and found a pair of dress pants I couldn’t fit a couple of months ago…. I tried them on and they fit! They actually fit a little big. Wow what a feeling!
As far as my protein, I’m trying this new protein shake I bought at the local GNC (Amplify - Vanilla Cream) that’s actually not bad. Till next time.
-Madeline
3/29/2006
Four Weeks Post OP Today!
Still down 29 lbs. Again, I’m hoping I can hit that magical number of 30 lbs down by Friday. I have decided to set goals for myself each month. I’m going to try to set reasonable goals therefore if I hit that number than it’s great and if I surpass the number then it’s fantastic. I’m trying not to get on the scale every day. I have decided to get on the scale once a week. Therefore, on Sunday’s I will be weighing myself. As far as my eating I don’t find myself “hungry”. There are certain foods I do think about like chips and a big juicy burger but I haven’t given in to temptation. On Sunday I went to my mother’s house for dinner and she always has chips in the house (all sorts of chips), I was tempted but didn’t attempt it. Today I plan on attending a Post Op Group Session at Dr. Ferzli office. Laura the Nutritionist always hosts the meetings. Till next time.
-Madeline
3/31/06
I have met my goal; actually I exceeded my goal by one pound. I’m down to 270 lbs., only 120 lbs to go. Since the surgery on 3/1/2006 I have lost a total of 31 pounds.
As, far as my eating: I’m not really eating lately. I have to force the food down. I have little to no desire on eating anything. To be honest I haven’t really been drinking my protein shakes either. My husband is constantly reminding me to eat. I know he worries about my health but is not as easy as he thinks. Every time I eat I feel sick afterwards and that doesn’t help. And there’s times where I just don’t want anything or just forget to eat. As far as me exercising, this week I didn’t have the opportunity to go to the gym. It was a busy week at work and home.
I went to a support group meeting on Wednesday night at Dr. Furzli’s office and it was fantastic. I think the support groups are a great idea. Being able to meet people and ask them about their thoughts, feeling and exchanging ideas is great. You are able to meet some wonderful people at the meetings.
Today I have a pair of black jeans on that my husband gave me for Christmas of 04. When I first put them on in 04, the jeans barley fit me. I remember throwing myself on my bed and squeezing into them (size 24). After that I day I hung the jeans up in my closet and just forgot about them. Today when I put them on the jeans are so big on me that I had to wear a belt with them. Now I feel like Bozo the Clown with them on but I’m not complaining. I didn’t want to start shopping for clothes but I think I’m going to go out and buy myself at least 3 pair of pants or dresses that I can look half way decent in.
I have set a goal of 30 lbs for April. Hope I get there. Till next time.
-Madeline
4/5/06
I don’t know what’s the matter with me today because I find myself feeling a little frustrated. I recently had someone ask me if I regret having the surgery and I answered them very quickly and confident with a NO. If you ask me that question today I don’t know if my answer is going to be the same. I don’t regret having the surgery … I think I’m just having a difficult time adjusting and learning to what my body can tolerate. Everything I eat lately makes me sick. So sick that it’s getting to the point that I don’t want to eat.
Today makes five weeks post-op and I’m down a total of 33 lbs. I honestly don’t think I’m losing fast enough. I have read other people profile where they have lost more than me. I know I shouldn’t compare myself with others but that’s easier said then done. Like I stated before I have set a goal for myself of 30 pounds this month hopefully I can meet it.
Till the next time.
-Madeline
4/17/2006
Let me start by saying that it was a long weekend. Good Friday for my family is an excuse to eat, eat and then eat some more. The menu usually consist of fried fish, cod fritters, cod salad, fried shrimp, shrimp cocktail, octopus salad, rice, beans, crap salad, oh and lets not forget a toss salad. The toss salad is the only thing that’s good for you. Well, I’m proud to say that I didn’t eat any of it. Actually I didn’t want to. I helped in the cooking but not once did I get tempted to try any of it. My dinner consisted of some broiled red snapper.
Well as of today I’m down about 38 lbs. I don’t think I’m going to hit my goal for the month of 30 lbs. To be honest with you I can’t tell you how much I weigh. The scale I have at home is the worst. On Wednesday I have a group session and I plan on weighing myself then. The doctor’s scale is what I will go by.
Till next time.
-Madeline
4/19/2006
Got on my personal scale and it said I weigh 260 lbs. Tonight I will be weighing myself at the doctors office. That will be the true reading.
-Madeline
4/24/2006
As of today I weigh 257 lbs. I am no longer considered extremely Obese…. I am now just Obese. Unfortunately I will not be meeting my goal for the month of 30 lbs. As of today I have only lost 13 lbs this month. Hopefully by Saturday I will be able to lose another 2 lbs. for a total of 15 lbs. I’m a little disappointed in myself. I know I haven’t been over eating. In fact I think it’s because I wasn’t eating enough. I haven’t been the best getting in my protein either. However I have been trying to walk for 35-45 minutes three times a week. I have also joined a water aerobics class. The class will be twice a week Tuesday and Thursday for three months. On Saturday (4/22/06) I went to see my Primary Care Doctor and I was advice that my blood pressure is down to normal. I’m very happy about that!
I have decided to set a “Reasonable” goal for myself for May of 20 lbs. Hopefully I will be able to meet it.
-Madeline
4/27/2006
I went to a support group session last night and weighed myself and unfortunately I only lost one more pound since last week. I’m a little disappointed in myself. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I know for a fact that I’m not over eating, and I have been really trying to eat four small meals a day. I am still having difficulty getting my protein in….. I don’t know if that may be the reason behind my weight lose stall. I meet someone at the support group last night who had the surgery on March 13th and they lost more weight than me.
I have been going to the gym and working out about three times a week. I walk for about 35 minutes and then either get on the bike or the elliptical for an additional 15 minutes. In fact I plan on going tonight. I’m always telling myself I’m not going to stress over it, however I do. I can’t seem to get my mind off of losing all this weight. Like I stated in my last posting, I would like to lose at least 20 lbs in May.
Till next time……. A little disappointed
-Madeline
5/3/2006
Yesterday after work I went to go buy myself a couple pair of dress pants for work, because my size 22 were fitting me way to big. I felt like bozo the clown in them. Anyway…..my husband suggested I try on a pair of 18 and I argued and said the size 18 would be too small. Well I did as he asked and tried on the size 18 pants and to my surprise they fit! I couldn’t believe it! I almost couldn’t contain myself.
I can’t tell you how much weight I have lost in the last week or so because I haven’t weighed myself. I have decided to start weighing myself twice a month My next weigh in will be on May 10th.
Till next time.
-Madeline
5/11/2006
Yesterday I attended yet another wonderful group session hosted by Laura the nutritionist, who in my opinion is just one of the finest people I have meet in a long time. She demonstrates that she is genuinely concerned about you and your success. I intentionally arrived at the office fifteen minutes early so that would have the opportunity to weigh myself. As of yesterday I was 10 weeks post-op and down a total of 54 lbs. Making a total of 11 lbs lost since I last weighed my self on April 26. Ten weeks ago I started at 301 lbs I currently weigh 247 lbs. There’s a possibility that I will meet my goal for this month of 20 lbs by Wednesday May 31st.
Till next time
-Madeline
5/16/2006
What can I eat today? That’s the million-dollar question. Every day I try to figure that one out. I get bored very easily and I feel like I’m eating the same thing every day. I’m beginning to hate food. For dinner today I had some grilled chicken with some steamed veggies and I will most likely have the same thing for dinner tomorrow.
On a brighter side, I went to the gym today and walked for about 25 minutes and then attended a water aerobics class. I’m trying to get to the gym at least three times a week, but that doesn’t always happen, but I do try.
I don’t know if I lost any weight this week. Like I have stated before I going to try to weigh myself twice a month when I attend the group session, which is Wednesday the 24th. Hopefully I have lost more than just one pound and more importantly I hope I hit my goal this month of 20 lbs.
Till next time
-Madeline
5/25/2006
Well yesterday I weighed myself and I’m down another 5 lbs since the last time I weighed myself on May 10th, 2006. Making it a total of 59 lbs down since I had my surgery on Wednesday March 1st, 2006. I am only one (1) pound shy from making my goal for the Month of 20 lbs. That means I have six days to lose one pound. LOL!
On Tuesday I woke up feeling a little coldish…. Well I think I have a cold. I don’t think I have allergies. I have never had problems before with allergies so I definitely think it’s a cold. First cold I had in a long time. Being the genius that I am I took a swig of NyQuil last night and that made me so sick. I felt like I was drunk. I Instantly I had to go to bed and sleep it off. The one shot of NyQuil felt like I drank a bottle of Hennesy. I never was a big drinker, I am always the designated driver, but I’ll tell you one thing I don’t think drinking is for me at all anymore.
Till next time… 242 lbs.
-Madeline
5/31/2006
Ok.... I made my goal. I am officially weighing 240 lbs. I exceeded my goal by one pound. My 3 month post-op check up with Dr Ferzli is scheduled on Wednesday June 7th. To date I have lost a total of 61 lbs. I am curious to hear what Dr. Ferzli thinks about my progress. Thats all for now. I post after the 7th with my weight and progress.
-Madeline
6/8/2006
I went to my 3 month post-op appointment yesterday at Dr. Ferzli office. Well as of yesterday I have lost a total of 67 lbs. Do you believe it; I have lost 67 lbs in three months?
Little History, I am 5 feet 8 inches tall and I started my journey weighing 301 lbs (and that wasn’t my heaviest weight I once weighed 316 lbs). My BMI started at 45.7 (extremely obese) and now I’m currently at a BMI of 35.5 (obese). Well I’m half way there… just 69 more pounds to go before I get to my final goal. LOL
I have a Support Group Meeting next Wednesday June 14th. It would be nice if I could lose more 3 lbs by then. That will make it a wonderful 70 lbs lost, but if I don’t hit that number that would be OK to. I’m very happy so far. NO REGRETS!
Until next time.
-Madeline
6/30/06
Wow… it’s been sometime since I have posted.
Well as of today Friday June 30th, 2006 I am down 74 lbs (6 pounds shy of 80 lbs). This Sunday will make exactly four month Post-Op. I have lost approximately 19 lbs per month. As far as my eating, I think I’m doing a little better. I still can’t rice or pasta but that okay. Honestly I think that’s my Saving Grace. Bread is iffy sometimes. Sometimes I can eat a small piece and sometimes it just doesn’t go down and again that’s okay with me. I am now wearing a size 16 (yeah!). All of my size 18 is fitting big.
I’m looking forward to going on vacation at the end of July. Honestly I thought I would be nervous about going on vacation with the whole eating thing, but I’m not. I know what I can eat and what I can’t eat. I know what’s good for me and I know what’s not. I just have to make wise choices… As I have done the past 4 months.
BMI = 34.2 was at 45.7!
Well that’s all for now… Till next time.
-Madeline
7/14/2006
Hello everyone, as of today it’s been 4 months and 13 days since I had surgery. I’m down a total of 81 pounds weighing in at 220lbs. I have a total of 55 more pounds until I reach my personal goal of 165 pounds; however my doctor’s goal is 175 – 180 pounds.
I’m feeling great…. I will be going on vacation the week of July 23rd and can’t wait until I get on the airplane. I am looking forward to being able to sit on the airplane comfortably. In the past I would have to squeeze into the seat and adjust myself until I was able to put the seatbelt on. I refused to ask for a seat belt extension…… NOT FUN AT ALL.
Anyway, that’s all for now, until next time.
-Madeline
7/19/2006
217......This is how much I weigh as of today! I'm excited, On Sunday I will be leaving on vacation. To be honest with you I think I’m more excited about getting on the airplane and comparing the way I fit in the seat oppose to the way I used to fit in the seat four months ago.
It’s nice to hear people compliment me on my appearance because honestly I don’t see what they see. When I look at myself in the mirror I still se such imperfection. In the back of my mind I know I lost weight, however I still see a Fat person in the mirror… by no means am I thin. I know I’m much harder on myself then I should be.
My mother told me that I shouldn’t lose anymore weight. She said if I lost anymore weight I would look sick.....Sick was when I weighed 301 pounds. She doesnt get it… I still have 52 pounds until I hit my goal and I plan on achieving my goal weight.
Well that’s all for now… Till next time.
-Madeline
8/1/2006
Hello everyone as of today Tuesday August 1st I am officially 5 months post-op and down 88 lbs weighing in at 213 lbs. I am 12 lbs away from losing 100 lbs.
I just got back from vacation on Sunday (7/30/06), and it was great. I had a great time ..... and what was even better than my vacation was the way I fit on the airplane. This time I didnt have to squeeze into the seat and sit uncomfortably for a 3 hour flight. This time I had to adjust the seat belt to make it smaller. I could fold my legs. I cant begin to tell you how wonderful that feels.
As far as my eating on vacation well thats another story. I didnt over eat, however I did eat some things I know I shouldnt have. Its sad how a cookie goes down smoother than a piece of chicken or fish. I still cant eat pasta, rice, or bread because it makes me sick but a damn cookie goes down easily. Every time I eat something I know I shouldnt eat I feel guilty and feel such diapointment in myself. I must have eating about 4 cookies through out the week I was a the resort. Yes 4 cookies in 8 days doesnt seem like a whole lot but I dont want to get used to eating cookies.
I'm plan on going to the gym tonight and getting back on track. I cant go back to my old ways, I just cant! Now trust me I'm not eating nearly as much as I used to nor am I eating cookies everyday, but I'm so afraid of getting into my old habits.
Until next time.
-Madeline
Here's the latest picture of my husband and I on vacation 213 lbs:
Hello all. I went to yet another wonderful support group meeting last night. As of last night I am down 91 lbs. I am weighing in at 210 lbs. I have a total of 45 lbs until I hit my goal. I have been going to the gym more lately and I’m sure that’s what’s helped me, and I plan on going tonight to the gym.
On a different note… the past couple of days have been a little stressful. I am in the middle of selling my house in New Jersey and buying one in PA. My kids are not happy with the idea and truthfully I’m still on the fence with the whole moving thing. I worry about my children and how they will be accepted in a new school, new town, etc. I also selfishly worry about myself. I don’t feel comfortable changing doctors and worry about getting to my support group meeting in Staten Island. I am going to have to make some serious arrangements.
Well that’s that for now… till next time.
-Madeline
9/5/06
Okay its been six month since I had my surgery and I am officially down 100 pounds. I cant begin to explain to you how wonderful that feels. Only 35 more pounds to go until I reach my goal weight of 165 pounds. Its funny how I can write that I only have 35 more pounds to lose ........ six months ago I would have never thought I could lose 20 lbs never mind 100 lbs.
Until next time.
-Madeline
9/26/06
Hello everyone its been some time since I last updated. Everything is going well. The weight is still coming off, however its coming off very slow. I have only lost about 3 lbs since I last updated on September 5th. I am still gratefull for the weight loss even if its just 2 or 3 pounds. Every little bit helps!
I am officially down 103 pounds. Only 33 more pounds to go until I hit my goal weight of 165.
Until next time.
-Madeline
1/4/07
Hello Everyone its been a while since I last updated or posted. Hope all is well and I wish you all Happy and Healthy New Year. I cant belive that its been ten (10) months since I had surgery. To date I have lost a total of One hundred and twenty-three (123) pounds. I have thirteen (13) more pounds until I reach my personal goal of weighing 165 pounds. I have passed my doctors goal of 180 pounds. I swear that the last couple of pounds have been so so hard to lose, but I will not get discouraged... I will get to my goal sooner or later. At least I hope I reach my goal. More importantly I pray everyday that I maintain the wieght off. My biggest fear is that I gain the weight again. I think that will kill me.
Well again.... hope you all a Happy and Health New Year! Until Next time.
-Madeline
3/1/07
Hello again…… Today is my one year anniversary. I can’t believe it has been a year since I had my surgery. Well again I must say I have no regrets! I have lost a total of One hundred and twenty-eight pounds (128) and feel great. I no longer need to take insulin for my diabetes, nor medicine for my high blood pressure and cholesterol. Not only do I feel great I look better. I can’t begin to tell you how great it feels to be able to purchase a pair of jeans in a size 12…………rather than a size 24/26. Depending on the slacks I can sometimes get into a size 10. I would still like to loss additional ten or fifteen (10 – 15) pounds. I have surpassed the doctor goal of 180 pounds. My personal goal is 165 pounds.
I must admit that my biggest fear is gaining my weight back. I think about that everyday. I pray everyday that GOD would give me the strength and well power I need to maintain myself.
Before I end this update I would like to give thanks to my Lord Jesus Christ and Savior for the opportunity he has given me by allowing me to live again in a new body. Thank You David for the support you have given me.
Till next time.
-Madeline