mandy15224

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I have been bad about this... I log on everyday to the message board, I just don't ever update this section... laziness I suppose. So I have decided, I'll just update every month, that I can commit to.

So Christmas and the New Year celebrations are over, and I did well. I didn't eat anything I wasn't supposed to, and honestly, I wasn't even that tempted. I feel pretty lucky because I know that lots of people struggled.

I am now about 2.5 months out, and I have been losing weight quite rapidly over the last week or two (approx. 1 pound a day). So I hope that this continues for  a bit. I currently weight in a 209, for a total loss of 44 pounds. I still don't really SEE a difference, but there has to be one. My boyfriend says he can tell, so I will believe him.

Other than that, nothing new...

Today is a big day for 3 reaons: One, it marks my One Month Post Op, Two, my boyfriend and I have been together 6 months, Three, i is my first day back to work. All of those are very exciting.

I am at work now and pulling through the day, although I am VERY tired. It is boring, but that is good, because honestly, I don't really  have the energy to do anything. All I keep thinking is that I can't wait to get home.

As far as my boyfriend and I, I have been really cranky / tired / frustrated and have been kinda mean to him the past 2 days. I forgot what today was for us and was a little mean this morning, but I did apologize. And then when I got into work, I realized the day and I have felt guilty since. But I got him a nice card and a little present.

And now to the one month post op. Well, I am still quite frustrated at the lack of weight loss, and I am kinda sad that I don't think that I'll get to -30 on the 28th like my doctor had wanted. But I am glad I am alive and have had no complications. So I guess I will hang in there, keep up with the rules, and see what happens over the next 8 days.

Ugh, FINALLY! I lost 3 pounds.... I know that isn't much, but with 15 days no change, it might as well be 100 pounds!

I honestly can not understand how I can not be losing... it is so disappointing... I keep hearing that it is normal, but I am just very unhappy.

I start work again on Monday, I am not really looking forward to that. I am just worried that I am going to get too tired and not make it through the day.

Oh well, nothing else going on.

Well, I haven't lost an ounce since I started pureed foods. This is very frustrating... I am exhausted for nothing it feels like. I had this surgery to lose weight, and I am not. 
VERY disappointing...

I must be an incredibly boring person, I really don't have much to say. I have been a little down lately... mainly because I want to go go go, but I get tired easily and it is frustrating. I also just want to eat with out my stomach hurting lol. 

I am happy to report that I haven't had any problems (well, little minor ones, like my thyroid pill getting stuck in my throat and that my purple Flinstones make me want to barf ) and that I am down to 231. It was 230, but I started on pureed foods, and I gained a pound. I am VERY concerned, however, that I do not become full with just 1/4 cup of food. It is frightening... I am worried that my pouch is too big and went through all this for nothing. 

I am also concerned about the drinking. I don't know if I am sipping incorrectly or what, but everytime I take a drink, my stomach gets all gurgley and I get terrible pains. It is worse with plain water, I don't know. But if anyone has any tips, please let me know.

On the personal side of life, God, I can not TELL you how close this has made me to my boyfriend. I love him so much that I can't even explain it. It is amazing how much closer this made us. I know lots of relationships break up after one of both people get the surgery and begin to change, but I pray that won't happen to us. I have read too many profiles of people saying they won't break up and then they do, and I don't want to be one of those people. I love him, and I will for ever.

One week and one day out and nothing really happening. I am healing nicely, a little residual pain, but nothing awful. I have a difficult time sitting up straight for extended periods of time, but hopefully that will change soon. Other than that, I am DYING for something besides liquid. I am so SICK of fruit flavor! I made some decaf iced tea with Equal and that goes down extremely well.

I have to say that I am feeling MUCH better... like night and day. Things are a little rough first thing in the morning, but otherwise, my pain is pretty limited. I usually take my pain medicine first thing in the morning and right before I go to bed.

Today was my floow up, I got my drain removed... SO gross, I can;t even stand it! But its over, and I made it. 

I am very thankful that I have made it through the surgery complication free and that I am home with no complications. I love my boyfriend SOOOOOO much, now more than ever. He is so sweet and loving. And all my doctors, the nurses, etc. were fantastic. I was very happy with the care I recieved.

Now I am just concentrating on th 64 oz and getting up and walking around.

Well, i back from surgery. Everything went smoothly, no complications. I haven't passed gas yes, but I hear that once I do, I will feel a ton better. Right now, the pain is mostly a sharp pain around my ribs, which was from gas and then my incisions. Its painful, but not a 10... maybe a 6.

The nursing staff at the hospital was FANFASTIC! I didn' t have to wait long for anything, and they were vey concerned for all us patients. My doctor came in to see me on Saturday morning and said that everthing was fantstic and that I have great anatomy.

Well, I am sleepy, but will update in more in a bit. But I just wanted to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers.

10/5/06 - Okay, I got my surgery date today. Everything went so FAST! Since I have been pretty reclusive through these begining stages, here is a movie-esque fashback....
8/10/06 Consult with surgeon Carol McCloskey. I was a bit nervous because I couldn't find ANY info on her! SO I called the office and spoke to the secretary. It turns out that she is new to the practice, which is why I had no information. The secretary told me that she had been a fellow studying under the most revered (according to my research) surgeon in the practice. She has done of 300 surgeries and is very skilled. I felt slightly comforted and agreed to continue with the appointment. My mom came with me to the appointment and we both felt at ease with Dr. McCloskey. She is very confident, answered all my questions, informed me that she has a complication and mortality rate of 0. She also said that the institution complication and mortality rate is less than 1%.
          9/18/06 Psych Eval. I saw Dr. Weiss. He seemed a little clod at first, but he is very sweet. He showed a genuine interest in how I was feeling and what I thought. After the session, he greeted my boyfriend with warmth, which was nice. He called me a few days with a follow up question and asked how I was doing instead of getting right down to business. I found that refreshing. He also suggested a few books for me to read. I may consider seeing him for follow-up.
          9/21/06 Pre Op testing. This was one busy day! I actually crammed everything into one day. First was my ultrsound. I didn't like it... It was painful per se, its just that the tech was pressing so hard that it was uncomfortable. I thought i was going to have bruising! Right after that, I had my Upper GI. First I had to drink the fizzy barium which tasted fine but the fizziness and texture made me gag. Then I had the liquid barium which also wasn't bad at all. It tasted better than I remembered! The doctor was kind of an a-hole, not very friendly, but whatever. Both of these were done at Magee. Nest, I went to my PCP for a pre-op physical and an EKG. I LOVE my PCP, she truly is the finest physician I have ever seen. She is extremely intelligent and has been stellar through all of the miscellaneous problems I have had through the years. Finally, I went to the nutritionist. I elected to see the nutritionist at my endocrinologist's office - Mehry Safein. I have know her for years as she used to work at my college. We went over and over the ways I can get protein and the importance of vitamins. All in all, the day was good. Everyone approved me!
          10/3/06 The insurance coordinator at the doctor's office submitted my letter to the insurance compay... funny thing... I WORK for my insurance company lol!- and said that they were questioning my 6 months. I told the coordinator that my PCP faxed the diet history form, but she said she didn't have. But she called the insurance co. and said that my medical records were attached and shwed the 6 month span.
10/4/06 I get into work in the morning and there is a message on my phone! I am thinking it is my buddy Angel who calls me every morning on her way into work but it isn't! It is the surgeon's office telling me I was approved! Holy crap!

So back to the present... I called the surgeon's secretary to get a date and she asked if I would like to get my surgery on October 20th. Great! I said. The she scheduled me for my Pre-Op appt with the surgeon and my Pre-Anesthesia appointment for Octoer 10th... that is exactly 2 months from my initial consult!

My thoughts: 1) Crap! I am getting SCARED! 2) This is 4 days after my 25th birthday. This is either going to be a great birthday present, or if I don't make it, at least I will have lives a quarter of a century. 3) I'm SCARED!



10/6/06 More paperwork today! I picked up all of my short term disability paperwork from HR. It kinda sucks that I am only going to be pulling in 60% of my pay (which is already pretty meager). But I guess its better than nothing. I am just feeling really stressed because I honestly am not sure if I can do this without getting behind on my wretched bills! My boyfriend has been pretty good through all the complaining... but he has a complete different view on spending money. I feel like he is attacking me when we are talking about money, and I don't like it...I don't like being criticized. I know he's just trying to be helpful, and that h's not trying to hurt me, but I still don't like it.

Today at work, I ate what may have been my last piece of birthday cake :( every month we get one cake and celebrate all of that month's birthdays... only two this month, me and Will. I must say, I savored the cake. :)

10/08/06 I am REALLY getting scared... I am wondering if I should go through with this...

10/10/06 Today was my pre-op appointment with the surgeon. My pre-anesthesia appointment was cancelled because the nurse assistant didn't feel well... that is rediculous. Now I have to take another complete day off, which irritates me. I have no PTO, so I guess I am not getting paid for a day...GREAT. So, Thursday, I get my chest X-ray, my blood work and pre-anestesia interview. But anyways... today. I arrived at 9:30 for my 9:30 appt. I was rushing because I didn't want to be late, but it didn't matter, I ended up sitting in the waiting room until noon. Then I FINALLY get called back, I sit in the room for another 30 minutes, and then Dr. McCloskey came in. I was glad to see her because I thought I was going to have to see the Physician Asst., and I really didn't want to. I have to say that I really like Dr. McCloskey. She has a very calm demeanor and that puts me at ease. It seems that if there were any complications or emergency situations, she would handle them well. She also took a lot of time to answer my questions... even the ridiculous ones! So i guess I am now less scared, just excited.

10/11/06 I think I am having a mental breakdown. I could just bust into tears at any moment...actually, I have! I just feel like I am really under a lot of stress. There is a lot of preparation for surgery, plus everyone is putting their two cents in, I am really nervous and scared, I am worried about money, and now my cat is sick! I don't know what's wrong, his eyes are all cloudy and that worries me. My boyfriend is helping much on that front... I am worried little Beau will die and my BF just said Oh well, its just a cat. You have to remember that! Needless to say, that was absolutely no help whatsoever. I just hope everything else goes ok.

So, in other news, I turned in all my FMLA paperwork to HR and I am now waiting to hear back about whether tomorrow will count as FMLA since I am out off time off. Hopefully it will be and won't get an occurance, but who knows.

10/12/2006 Well, today was the last of my testing! i had my pre-anesthesia, chest X-Ray, and bloodwork. Done! I can't believe it! I am really getting nervous at this point. I am so scared something is going to happen! I just have to keep reminding myself to BE POSITIVE! I am going to be in very capable hands.