maremare
I have been overweight for a majority of my life. Growing up when I was under 11 I was pretty much active and was into swimming, basketball and volleyball. Then it all changed when I had to switch schools and start all over. Thats when I really started using food as a really good friend. The summer after I changed schools I gained about 60 lbs. of course I then stopped swimming because I felt like a whale and was no longer a fast swimmer on the swim team. I also stopped my other sports because I was no longer really friends with my old classmates and I felt like a outsider. I also was diagnosed with psoaraitic arthritis which made me self cauntious because my fingers started to swell as I got older and I just knew everyone could see that I was deformed. On top of all that I am the middle child of two blonde skinny siblings. As time went on I relized that even if I was skinny I would never be the cheerleader type and was truely happy that I wasn't. Through high school I was the most likely the fatest person in the school and also had severe arthritis with times at night not being able to pull up my own covers and sometimes not being able to make it to the bathroom. High school is supposed to be the time when you start to gain your independence and the sad thing was I sometimes needed help with what seemed like everything. My arthritis doctor at the time obviosly was not really treating my arthritis because he kept me on a large dose of tylonel coedine and I was taking at least 6 pills a day in order to function. This led me to sometimes blacking out and even falling down the stairs a few times at school. This was really embarrissing and scary because I didn't know what had happened until I was on the floor at the bottom of the stairs with everyone staring at me and laughing. I also didn't have good grades ( hmm wonder why? ). Finally soon after bearly graduating high school luckily my parents had found me a new doctor which I acredit saving my life. The new doctor said that he does not use narcotics and therefor giving me my last bottle. He prescribed me all new meds which I am still on that actually work allowing me to gain some independence. He also told me that I needed to lose weight or else I could find myself in a wheel chair down the road due to the extra wear and tear on my joints. Soon after I found a very new wave nutrionist which led me to cut many foods from my diet and within 9 months I had lost close to 100 lbs, I was 19. For the first time I felt normal I actually received attention from guys, I could not believe it. I kept the weight off for a little more 3 1/2 years during that time a still had low self esteem and happen to go a little wild. Finally I happen to have met the man of dreams which I met him at a coffee shop that I was working at. To my surprise he too had lost a lot of weight more than 100 pounds. We hit it off and soon after starting the relationship my weight gradually and slowly started to go up probubly because I wasn't out every night which was a good thing. At my lowest weight I was 200 lbs which was a weight I was truely happy with because I am pretty tall. When I got married in 2003 I was probubly 283 lbs or so I don't really know because I never weighed myself. During this time I ended up taking a high stress job dealing with people in crisis ( this was sooo the wrong job for me). It was also a sit down desk job which I have never had before. By the time I left that job I was probubly 300 lbs or more. At this time I also was experiencing really bad anxiety which progressively got worse. I think the anxiety started because I had regained weight after going through all the trouble to lose it. I felt like a failure. In case any of you are wondering about my husband and his weight well he never really gained much and when he does he loses it fast because he has a very active job. Finally at my heaviest ever 358 lbs and my anxiety out of control (my face would sweat in public places) I decided I had to do something about my weight. So I made an appiontment with my PCP which was hard because of my anxiety to ask for a refferel to a bariatric surgeon. Soon after I had my first appointment with Dr. Foster. My first appointment was in April 2007. Since than she had me deal with my anxiety which I don't really have anymore and that was without medication. I have tried to follow everthing she has asked me to do and MY SURGERY DATE IS NOVEMBER 19, 2007. Since the beginning of the year I have lost close to 40 lbs. on my own with the advice of DR.FOSTER. Through all this my family and husband have been very supportive as well as my good friend. Although one of my closest friends decided to stop talking to me as I was going through the process of getting my surgery date. She was slightly against the surgery to begin with. I feel like she had her own body image issues and was kind of jealous because there was nothing to help her lose the 20 lbs she felt she needed to lose. All in all I am very grateful for all the people I do have in my life and I can't wait to be able to really live again and not let my weight get in the way of anything.
