Marywoods53

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I have lost 90, but can't seem to push past that.  I haven't excercized like I should, I know.  In my own defense I am so busy, which is what got me in this mess to begin with.  I pick up something to eat fast without thinking, and then realize all i have eaten for a day is pretzels and V8.  It so stupid, I feel like I am going to repeat the same cycle, and do not want to.  I feel so much better with the weight loss, and want to reach my goal wt by the 1 year mark, so I have 50 to lose, and at 5-6 pounds a month, I am not going to make it.  I need to talk to myself, which is why I am blogging.     Starting over with my plan today right now.  I will eat my protein and drink my water today. 

It has been a long time since I posted.  I am doing well, the holidays were alittle bit of a struggle i found myself trying to eat things I wanted and not needed.  I am trying to get back on the right track..  I haven't been excersizing like I should either.  More due to time than motivations,  i am still working as a nurse, and have picked up a side line doing some event planning.  I have done 2 wedding, a community day and a pastoral appreciation in the past few months and working on another wedding.  I also have 3 new grandchildren, makeing 11 with another due in May.  Everyone was here for the holidays, so it was a gloriouse chaos.   Another interesting thing has happened to me.  I have always enjoyed cooking and entertaining, but I enjoy cooking much more since I don't eat it.  strange, i think, but never the less how it is.  I have lost 73 pounds with 60 more to go,  I think i am going a little slow, but I feel good.  I am off all insulin, Byetta, and colesterole meds.   All in all I am ok, and ready to lose the rest of this excess fat.      

I am 2 weeks and 5  days out, some stops along the way, but I am praying things are getting better.  At 2 weeks out I got the flu, my 2 year old had it and then the 3 year old, so of course I was next.  It only lasted 2 days, but it was horrible,  I had a high fever 103-104, body aches, and dry heaves, (of course because I have struggled with food and liquids since surgery)   on top of a sore incision.  The on call doc wanted me to be admitted for at least 24 hours, but I couldn't do it.  My last trip to the hospital was awful, and I wasn't about to do another so soon.       So......now on to the great stuff, my daughter had her twins on 8-8-08, 2 beautiful little girls,  Aleiah and Ayanna, they were at 28 weeks gestations, so it was scary, my daughter was deathly ill so they had to take them by C-section.  The babies are amaziing, neither is on breathing help anymore and both are eating a little by mouth.  God is good.  That's why my ticker is the babies.  It will be changing soon though because my son and his wife are due in a week.  

I finally feel like posting, It has been alittle bit of a rough ride.  I had the RNY on the 11th, had to have open instead of lap.  I struggled with pain control in the hosp. and the fird few days home.  But today is a new day, I finally feel like ok, lets begin the up side of the adventure.  I have to mention how grateful I am to my God, my family and my freinds, I couldn't have made it without them.  I am down 16 lbs.  So that is the up side.  I am grateful for that also.  My husband has been Mr. Wonderful, so kind so caring and loving.  I am thankful to him.  I'm ready to start living my new life, so lets go....

I am so ready, Aug. 11,   I need to be   at the hospital at 6:00 am.  I  am even  more  ready  than  I   was  in  July.   I   believe   I    worked   through   all   t he   fear   and   apprehension   prior   to   my   last   date,   so   now   I   just   want   to   do   it.     I   am   very   grateful   to   God f  or   allowing   me   to   do   this.    It   has   been   a p  hysical,   emotional,   and spiritual   journey,   being   overweight   since   childhood,   and   obese   since   high s  chool,   and   diabetic   for   nine   years  , this i  s   a   whole   new   chapter.  I am   happy   in l  ife   and   with   what   I   have   accomplished   and   have  overcome   many   obsticels,   but   being obese   is   the   one t  hat   has   seemed   to   bea  t me,   I would   loose   significant   amounts   of   weight   only   to   gain   them   back   more   rApid   than   it   was   lost.    I   have   been dealing   with   the   emotional   eating for   some   years   now   having   to   follow   a   diabetic   diet,   but   I   still   do   emtional   eat,   expecially   if I   am     angry.    I   don't   deal   with   anger   well,   but   I   am   working   on   it.   I have   so   much   to   grateful   for,   my   husband,   my    8   children,   my  9   grandchildren,    my   3   soon   to   be   born   grandbabies,   my      friends,   my   church   family,   a nd   my   God.    When   I   beat   this   diabetes   and    weight   issue   I   can   truthfully   say   I   will   fee l  ike     I   have   it   all.    To   be   healthy   and   fully   alive,   no   more   sidelines,   or   pretending   that   not   be   involved   is   ok.   I   am     READY,   MENTALLY,   PHYSICALLY   AND   SPIRITUALLY !                LETS   DO   IT1

Augugst 11, I  am so  ready.  I  got  my   new date today, I   wish  it  were     even  sooner, but  this  has been an  excercise  in  patience.  I   do have to have  a  new  history  and  physical  and  update  my  preadmission  testing,  but   I  don't  care,  anything  to  get   this going.        I   feel   blessed   to be  able  to go   forward and   grateful   for  the  opportunity  to  change  my    life.  So  I'll  be  as  patient  as I  can  be. 

Well I went to the specialist yesterday, and got clearence for surgery, the specialist was Dr. Pence.  I very nice man, he did all the testing right there and then so I wouldn't have to come back.  I appreciated that. He said call your doc your good to go.  Well I called the surgeon office and they couldn't schedule me.  I understand the point, they didn't have the letter from the urologist, they told me to call back next week.  GRRRRRR!!!!!!  I really needed the date today to get me through the next few weeks, but I'll wait.  I am sure their is a reason.  I'm just a little disappointed, and it is frustrateing because it is so routine to them that they don't understand your impatience.    Well ....... I'll wait.

Well,  it is Monday and 5 days after I was suppose to have surgery, I believe it is time to count my blessings.  I am grateful to God for sending me  a competant surgeon,  that cared enough to not operate when she didn't feel it is safe.  I am grateful for my family for standing by me, and encouraging me, when I was sooooo down.  I am  Especially grateful for my husband Greg, who is always there to love me.    I am grateful for my friends, here and in person who cared enough to encourage me and make me laugh when I couldn't find anything to laugh about.   I am truely grateful.     mary

I think I am over the shock of not having surgery last Wednesday, and have moved successfully to  the all out depression stage, concequently the diabetes is more out of control, adding to the depression,  depression feeds hligh blood sugar and high blood sugar feeds depression.     So I need to find a way out of that.  I have an appointment with the urologist on July 14, hopefully I will get cleared again for surgery, and maybe not have to wait to terribly long for another date.  Everyone has been very kind and concerned, and of course my friends that are against the surgery believe this is a sign to not  go through with it.  I just need to stay in prayer about it and see what the final authority has to say.

 I checked in for surgery this a.m. but was sent home,  I started to have some blood in my urine last night about 3a.m.  And it was pretty bad at the hospital.    That has never happened to me before and now this afternoon the bleeding has stopped, but I have to see a uroligist before they will set me up again.  I cried the whole way home, and of course got something to eat  after fasting for over 24 hours what else would I do.   I am extremley depressed right now.  Looking forward to better days ahead.