Jamie W.
It was Jan. 1, 2009 and the scale said 249! UGH, I thought I would kill myself. My marriage had just gone through a difficult time but we made it through but now what was I going to do about me. This is the most I have ever weighed and I knew I didn't like it. I work with someone who had the gastric by-pass surgery so I started talking to her a lot. She helped me get started with the pre-surgery informational meetings at DHMC in Manchester. when I first went, I had to be weighed and was so embarassed. I called my doctor and set up an appointment to talk to him about WLS and we both decided that with my medical past, the lap-band would be best for me. See, I had my colon removed several years ago and have gained 85 lbs. since then. I also suffer from severe thyroid disease. Once I made the decision to pursue the WLS, I couldn't get enough information on it and my co-worker has been incredibly supportive. So, my insurance has approved the surgery and it is set for 7/20/09. I've lost 14 lbs. since January but look forward to getting to my goal and starting my new make over.
6/15/09: It's 5 weeks till my surgery and boy am I having second thoughts. How did I get here? I never thought I would let myself get to the point where I would need surgery to help me lose this fat. I feel like such a failure, not only to me but also my husband. I always wanted to be sexy and attractive to him and I can't even stand to look in the mirror at myself, I wonder how he looks at me. Lucky for me we have a great marriage and he's very supportive. I'm also lucky to have someone at work who has gone through the gastric bypass surgery and allows me to talk to her and ask questions and she is supportive as well.
6/25/09, 3 1/2 weeks to go till surgery and the anxiety is building. I've been reading everyones posts and getting a lot of information on what to expect. I've been eating some of my favorite foods that I know I won't be able to eat the 2 weeks before surgery when I go on the liquid diet and some of the foods that I know I won't be able to eat after the surgery like grilled cheese sandwiches, which I love. The 4th of July will be my last hoopla of food as the liquid diet starts on the 6th, so you know I'm going to enjoy the BBQ.
6/29/09, Today I had all my pre-op testing at the hospital and they again went over everything I will be experiencing. 1 week left of real food before the liquid diet and have my grocery list all made out. Second thoughts, absolutly! This is going to be life changing and how will this effect my relationship with my husband. I always love to cook for him, especially big dinners on Sundays. What have I gotten myself in to ? I understand that everyone has these anxieties so I'm telling myself this is normal. I'm grateful for this website that I can find support and also get my questions answered. I am excited to start my make over but at the same time very scared. This is a bit of an emotional rollercoaster.
7/3/09, It's the weekend of 4th of July and I plan on enjoying what I want, as of Monday I go on my 2 week pre-op liquid diet. My feelings are still schetchy as to what I am in for, a life change not only for me but also for my husband. The emotional part of how I look at myself I shared with my husband and I think he understands that I really need to do this for me to not only to feel good about myself but also feel good about looking good for my husband. My love goes so deep for him that I want him to be proud of being with me. I want to be the thin attractive women he fell in love with 15 years ago and I also want to be that women for me.
7/6/09, Today I weighed in at 239, it's the start of my 2 week pre-op liquid diet phase. I feel mentally ready for this but also at the same time I am scared. I took my measurements this weekend and boy was that a rude awakening that only proves I must do this. I do pray these next 2 weeks goes by fast and that I will have the strength to stay on liquids without cheating.
7/20/09 Today is the day. Lapband @ 1:00. Scared, nervous, absolutely. Am I doing the right thing, God I pray so. I'm down to 229.5 as of thisw morning, so that's 20 lbs. sincde the start of this journey. I've made some incredibly supportive friends on this website and am looking forward to being onthe other side.
7/26/09 - down 23 lbs and when I went for a walk this morning with my OH walking partner, I looked down at my feet and I could see them! Of course I saw my big boobs first but I didn't see the belly tire that was there before. I couldn't believe it, I was actually able to see progress. Happy? You bet!
7/29/09 - today is a WAHAOO day! I'm down 25.5 lbs. and weigh in at 223.5. I'm under the 225 mark and feel great! I have on an outfit that is a large, not an XL and it makes me feel very pretty today. I shared this with my husband and he was very happy for me too. He asked if I had shoes to match my outfit or were my feet shrinking too. We both laughed. Today is a good day, thank you lord.
8/25/09 - down 33 lbs as of today (216) and also lost 16.5 inches and 6.5 of them were from my waist. I tried on an outfit last night from my closet of last years summer clothes. I put this 2 piece outfit on and it fit nicely. the best part is that it's a size 14. I was wearing a tight 18W when I started this journey.
9/10/09 - down 38 lbs. (211) past 2 nights my exercise partner and I have done boot camp, can I say I think she's trying to kill me.
9/17/09: well I went to Kohls today at lunch and was able to buy a large and even medium sweaters. I didn't have to go to the fat ladies section and stayed completly clear of of the XL's. And I'm down 40 lbs. Yippee for me today...
9/23/09- Down 41 lbs. and had my first fill today. Usually he gives 2cc's for the first fill but only gave me 1cc because I am doing so well. Losing 2-3 lbs a week and am limited on my food intake and I had a serious PB this past Sunday. Had some deli turkey slices and I ate them too fast and they got stuck, and OMG what pain. So he said if he gave me the full 2 cc's that I'd be having more of that and we want to get to a sweet spot slowly. So I'm good with that. I'm still losing and exercising my butt off. This is good.
9/28/09 - My husband has been gone for 3 weeks now working up north, so he hasn't seen the additional weight loss and body toning from all the exercise I've been doing. WELL, he came home Friday night and I was in the kitchen when he walked in. I played a little, "who are you, I don't think I know who you are". He replied back, "who are you and what have you done with my wife, your skinny". We both laughed and hugged for a long time. As we stood in the kitchen across from each other talking, he suddenly stoped talking and just looked at me. He said, "I have forgotten just how beautiful you are". Then he took me in his arms and held me so close then started to weep. I was so moved by his emotional response to seeing me again that I was speechless. This has been the best NSV I've experienced. Having a husband who supports me and emotionally is there for me is such a gift. I'm very lucky and in love.
10/7/09 - today I put on a size 16 suit and XL blouce and they were all too big. I went to Kohls at lunch and bought 2 pair of dress slacks and they were a size 14. I haven't been in a size 14 for at least 3 years. When I got home from work I went in to one of my closests where my size 14's are and I started to try them on. When I put on a short red plaid wool skirt I started to cry. I couldn't believe it fit. I haven't worn that skirt in at least 2 to 3 years. This has been a very good day!
10/22/09 - its been 2 weeks and I'm at a plateau and I don't ike it. I have no restriction whatsoever and feel like I cn eat like I have a bottmless pit. At least my weight is not going up but I know that's because of the exercise I've been doing. And speaking of that, it seems to be that I've lost some motivation in that department. During the summer it was every night after work and I looked forward to it. Now that it's cold and dark afterwork, I'm going to the gym and don't feel as I am pushing myself as hard as I was during the summer. I'm also having bad food cravings and unfortunatly I have given in at times. I prayed last night at church that I will resist so today I must have better will power. REMEMBER YOUR GOALS!
11/9/09 - I'm down to 201.5, 47.5 lbs gone! Had my 2nd fill on Friday (11/6/09), 1 more cc, so I'm at 2 cc's now and actaully started to feel a littel restiction this weekend. I also changed my hair color back to my natural color. This is all part of my mid-life make over. It's amazing how lossing weight can make you feel so much better about yourself and give you more confidance. My husband keeps telling me how proud he is of me and that also helps keep me going. It was a beautiful weekend so I got in what I think is my last bike ride of the season before it gets really cold. I told Dr. Gould on Friday that my goal weight is 160 lbs. and he thought that would be good for me. So 41.5 lbs to go. I WILL DO IT....
11/12/09 - I MADE IT TO ONE-DERLAND! 199.5
12/7/09: I haven't been on here for a while because I have felt betrayed. It was Thanksgiving and after my mom had a rum and egg nog, she blurted out at the table that she knows I had lap-band surgery. This was something I did not tell my parenst about because it was PRIVATE AND PERSONAL to me. I was mortified, embarassed, humiliated and EXTREMELY ANGRY. She wouldn't tell me who told her but did mention that maybe it was someone from one of those meetings I go to. First of all, how does she even know I go to meetings, and secondly, I believed who we see and what is said in the meetings was not to be shared with others outside the meetings.
So this is a reminder of peoples feelings and how when opening your mouth to others, even if you think they already know, can be damaging.
1/21/10- It's been 6 months since my surgery and I'm doing, well, o.k. I've lost 51 lbs. but have been at this weight for 2 months now and can't get past the 198 mark. I know I haven't been exercising as much because of the weather change and all the extra hours I've had to put in at work but I'm a little frustrated. Can't wait for warmer weatehr so I can get back out and walk and bike ride, that really helped take off the pounds. Also going through a really bad funk. Stress, anger, anxiety, it's a bit of a whirl wind right now. I do have a mini vaca to look forward to on 2/11 - 2/15 w/my BFF Donna and were off to Tampa, then a month later me and hubby and another couple are off to a private island in the Bahamas. And I feel good enough where I'm going to sun bathe nude. What the heck, like anyone is going to care. Where were staying, thre are only 5 cabanas so they'll gt over it. Hopefully can lose another 8 lbs. by then to be 190 when we go.
4/7/10: Yes, it's true. Had my surgery 7/20/09 and am now down 61 lbs, weighing in at 188. 28 more lbs to go to reach my personal goal. While working out I've been able to build up my durency and cardio and ran my very first 5K on Sat. 4/3/10 and came in at 41 minutes. I owe that to my personal exercise partner and friend Ann.... I never thought I would run! But now I've got the bug and am getting signed up for at least 1 - 2 5K's a month and got my company to sponsor me. They are goingot pay for my registration fees and get me couple shirts with their logo's on them. This has been an incredible ride and I feel more alive now than I thoght I ever would. thank you lap-band and Dr. Gould and the team at DHMC Manchester...
5/19/10: Down 70 lbs. today and went out to Kohls at lunch to find skorts for the summer and am pleased to share SIZE 10...... Not a 10 in everything, but nice to start with skorts. And wearing size medium in tops and dresses..... this exercise and diet are really working well.... I owe a lot to my exercise partner who helps kick my butt, Thanks Ann. So good to share this journey with you...
6/27/10: I am dfown 74 lbs. and at my 12 year old wedding day weight, 175.... I've been running 5K races since the first weekend in April and yesterday I ran a 5.2 mile race in 1 hr. 1 min. I was so proud of myself, what an accomplishment! In training for for a 1/2 marathon for Oct. 3rd as a birthday gift to my dad and to prove it to me that I can do it.
6/29/10: I am now 174 lbs w/a loss of 75 lbs. 14 more lbs to go to reach my goal of 160 lbs. Running like a maniac and dealing with lots of personal issues, but the running is helping me emotionally. There have just been so many changes this past year, some good some not so good and now it's time to weed through them.
7/21/10: Yes, it's true.1 year ago yesterday was my surgery and as of today I am down 82.5 pounds, weighing in at 166.5
and I'm doing the skinny happy dance. My nutritionist is a little upset with me though for not getting in enough carbs with all the exercising I'm doing. I'e been running 5K's almost every week now and some 10K's and am training for a 1/2 marthon Oct.3 at Hampton Beach. NH. I'm so psyched about the new me but there have been a lot of ups and downs along the way this year. Who would have thought you would lose friends because you got thin and they are still, well lets be nice and say, chuncky. I've gone froma size 20W last summer to a loose fitting size 10 at the moment. Hubby is supportive but also concerned that I'm not eating enough. My personal goal was to hit 160, which I think will be here before you know it, but with all the running I'm doing I think I'll probably be more like 150 onthe day of the race.
To all of you out there who have ben there for me thispast year,THANKYOU! You are an awesome bunch of people, especially my exersize partner who I met here on OH.
