I'm freaking out a little....

Jan 24, 2012

but hopefully it will pass.  I am so excited to start my new job tomorrow, or today, depending on  your perspective.  I go in at midnight Wednesday and work until 830 am Thursday morning.  Still not sure what my regular shift will be, exactly.  I have tried so hard for so long to find a job, and now I'm totally stressed about how things are going.  

My boys are fighting a lot lately, at ages 14 and 12 pre-adolescent angst and total teenage misery collided again and again this week.  I was ready to pop out my wolverine style claws and slash their little heads off!  Funny how they can be best buddies one day, and ready to kill each other the next.  I am hoping that once I am working they'll be helping each other out around the house and not killing each other!

Got back on the scale again this week, and I'm now down more than 20 pounds from my heaviest weight!  This week has been tough, trying to turn night into day and vice versa has seen me missing meals and forgetting to drink water and never knowing which way is up.  On the plus side, I am tired all the time!  Hopefully I will go to sleep around 730 in the morning on Wednesday and sleep all day, so I am well rested for my first night at work.

Hubby is totally supportive, he is glad to see me back to work, because we need the money, but much more importantly, I think, he has seen that working really helps me to feel less depressed.  When I am working I sleep better, eat less, and have less time to sit around and worry.  The only issue is, he is going out of town next week.  This means that for 3 nights I will be at work and my boys will be at home alone, no adult present.  This is NOT a comfortable feeling for me.  If I were six months into the job it probably wouldn't be such a big deal, but we are just getting ready to establish a new routine, and now it's going to get all messed up.  I think I'll get my dad to come for a visit!

He lives over 400 miles away, and hasn't visited in a while, since the drive is very tough on him.  I'm just hoping he can stay here so I won't have to leave the boys home alone at night....I'm sure that between now and the weekend Bob and I will come up with a solution that works for all of us.  My boys are very immature and I cannot imagine trusting them to wake up and get ready for school and be prepared to catch the carpool in the mornings without adult supervision.  This work thing is going to be more work at home than it is at work!!

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I recently connected with my first ever "best friend".  She was a neighbor of mine growing up, and I haven't seen her in over 35 years.  It was so wonderful to connect with her on FB, and then she sent me a photo from when we were kids:





Although the picture quality isn't great, this really was me all those years ago.  So serious!

I am guessing that none of the people who know me know would ever recognize this kid, but this is still how I think of me.  Crazy, huh?

Really hoping for a long and restful sleep before I start the job, I want to make a great impression on my shift supervisor and get off to a great start.

 

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