mlt203

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Well today was crazy...well the last week.  I have been eating everything in site. Candy, chips, ice cream, and anything you can think of.  I have been trying to stop but it's nuts.  My mind is determined, but my will is shot.  I'm trying to quit smoking and I quit coffee.  I switched to decaf but the skim milk doesn't help.  Splenda is not a great for me because I must me allergic some how.  It seems my throat closes and I have a hard time breathing.  AHHHH just seems there is no hope in site sometimes. But I will make it one way or another!

Today I had my second appointment.  Little sad and little happy!!!  Little sad because I didn't lose weight, but I didn't gain either.  I had my first class.  Eating!  I didn't realize half of what they taught me.  Use toddler spoons and forks.  Use toddler plates and sippy cups.  I would have never tried that before, ever.  Also I don't mind getting them because my son will use them at some point.  Hard to believe all the foods that I will not be able to eat after the surgery.  Mind blowing really.  

Tonight at dinner I used a salad plate and my sons feeding spoon.  The hardest thing was not drinking during dinner and chewing my food to little bits...like applesauce.  If anyone has suggestion on how to chew you food to applesauce, please let me know.  Even thinking about it doesn't work.  I seems to inhale everything.

Today I got the nerve to wieght myself.  I have an appt on Thursday and I wanted to lose about five pounds.  I only lost two pounds this month.   I ate better than before and exercised 30 mins everyday.  I don't sit down as much and I play with my son as much as I can.  Hopefully when I go to this first eating class on Thursday I will learn more what I can do.   If anyone as any suggestions, please let me know.

I work from home so i work in my Jammie's.  Today my husband wanted to go out shopping and it was horrible.  I went to put jeans on and today my jeans didn't fit.  yesterday they where fine and today they are not.  Are you kidding me.  I'm so tired of that.  I would love to walk into my closet and just pull something out and wear it.  I can't wait for that day.  I'm going to burn all my fat jeans and dance around them until they turn to ash!

Today has been a trying day for me.  Food seems to be around ever bend.  I work from home so I really just can't take a walk.  My son is only 1 year old and it's too cold to take him outside.  I have been worried about this next appt.  I have done all the required paper work for my insurance.  They will approve me when I have completed the six months of training.   This upcoming appt is going to be four hours long.  I'm just scared.