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New year and I am finally feeling that I am getting skinny!

I was thinking about the past year and what NSVs have happened in the past 12 months...

I started at a size 18. 

1. Size 16
2. Jeans got looser
3. No longer the biggest size at NY&Co
4. Workouts are easier
5. Compliments!
6. Can run up stairs easier
7. No longer breathing heavy while talking - gross!
8. Size 14
9. Learning to cook healthier
10. Compliments!
11. Making healthier choices
12. Face getting smaller
13. Size 14 jeans too loose, can take them off without unbuttoning and they are loose straight out of the dryer
14. Attention from the opposite sex
15. Size 12!!! - ok, so it was just two dresses at the Limited
16. Fitting into express!! Size L!!!
17. More male attention
18. FInally feeling pretty (not b/c of increased male attention)
19. Freedom to go into "normal" sized stores and buy cute clothes

I know some of these are so superficial, but i felt so bad about myself for so long. I hated being the fat friend while all my friends got attention and I didn't. I was lonely and depressed. 

Now, I am in such a good place. I am so happy with life in general. My new year's resolutions were to fix my hair and makeup everyday (or more days than not) and to not let people's negativity get to me. I just need to brush it off. I also am in the process of getting rid of toxic friends one at a time. I thought I would be so lonely without them that I put up with their nasty comments, but no longer! I feel as though a weight has lifted and I am so much happier with a bubbly personality. Yay!!

I find it funny that this is the first year that my new year's resolution hasn't been to lose weight! I can finally focus on other things. 

Things are good right now. I am so grateful for this band. :)

I am supposed to be studying for exams right now, but I decided to procrastinate...er, take a break.

I just uploaded two pics. The first that I uploaded was taken in January 2007, just a few weeks after my surgery. The second pic was taken a few weeks ago on Thanskgiving Day (Nov 07). What a difference! I am really glad i got this band since i can finally see a difference. People who see me everyday can't really tell and that one negative person who I see randomly is hard pressed to say anything nice. But anyway, I can tell in these pics. Finally! some progress. I am fitting into some Express Large tops and i can't wait to fit into all those juniors and misses clothing stores. I am also glad to say that I am no longer the largest size at NY&Co. At my heaviest, there were times even the 18s didn't fit. My excuse was that they were cutting them smaller. Yeah, right. Talk about denial. 

Anyway, that's my update. I have lost about 35 pounds in one year. I was hoping for more, but at this point, I'll take it. If I lose another 35 pounds, I will be at a healthy weight almost. Yay!

I had my fifth fill over August break. I was down another 5 pounds from my fourth fill in June. Still losing slowly, but at least I am not gaining. Since then, I have lost another five pounds in September and I am slowly working on losing another five for October. I set a goal for myself of 10 pounds by my one year bandiversary/end of semester. 

I want to be skinny and I want to be thin for my class graduation pics next term. 

At my fifth fill, I got another .2 of saline or whatever it is they fill it with. I also finally got to see a nutritionist, but she really didn't tell me anything I didn't know. But, she did give me some good advice on clear protein powder to put into foods. Also, she was vegetarian too, so it was good to talk to someone else about that. 

I have pressure from everyone and I am still getting stupid comments from so-called friends that I told in the beginning. I stopped telling people because of that. I thought they would be supportive instead of snarky, but it could be chalked up to jealousy that I was able to get this done. I jokingly suggested to a friend that she get the lap band too since she was strugglign with her weight and she said in a snotty tone, "i would never get that." Then again, she is one of the main haters who makes comments. I don't know why I am friends with her now that I just wrote that. hmm...

I just had my fourth fill, putting me at 3cc in a 4cc band and whoa!! Restriction! I have had my slime and PB episodes more frequently now which worries me about band slippage and such. I used to wonder how all those rules worked with the eating slowly, taking baby bites, protein first, etc... and now i see how they fit in. I am down 2.5% body fat so I guess that is better than actual pounds lost. I am slowly getting there. I am down 20 pounds since December. I hope to lose another 20 by the end of the year if not more. I am a little disappointed that i am not losing much, but as my doctor and the nurses have told me, I will lose more slowly since I am a vegetarian. I am getting in as much protein as possible and it is amazing how less i feel like eating. I used to eat a ton and then have dessert after almost every meal. Yuck...now, the sugar thing doesn't interest me that much since I get that full feeling after a little bit of food. This band is getting more exciting now. I was really thinking I had made a mistake, but now I see I am fitting more into the guidelines of the band and i am slowly losing. I was drinking Boost with protein for awhile, but the nurse told me that is the worst thing that I can drink. Oops..and i thought I was doing ok with the protein. SHe suggested SlimFast carb control which I will try next as I have just finished all the stupid Boosts that I bought.

As for the positive side, more and more people are noticing that I have lost weight. 

Another NSV: I bought two tops at the Express sale yesterday: size L!! Of course, I can't fit into everything at that store and pants are still a long way away, but these two tops are very exciting. They fit perfectly and it feels so good to see that L on a top from Express!! Yay!!

I have exams in the next few weeks. As for the band, I still haven't lost much. I had a second fill at the beginning of march and that gave me a litte restriction. I have had a few pb/sliming episodes which are NOT fun at all. I can't do the breads, rice, tortillas, etc... anymore. Which actually is a good thing and I really don't miss it at all. I have not lost a lot of weight, but it is very slowly coming off. I think I need to eat more calories. I don't know. I have another fill scheduled for the end of April before I go to Atlanta. I was hoping to have lost 30 pounds by now, but I guess that was an unrealistic goal. If I can lose 6 more pounds, I will have lost a total of 20 pounds since the beginning of december. But, I have two semesters left in the year and if I can lose 20 pounds each, I will have lost 60 total in a year. I can handle that, but I still wish it came off faster. 

I told one of my really good friends here that I got the surgery. She is struggling with her weight. I think it was a mistake to tell her. The snarky comments have started. 
SHe was telling me how she is a size 18 now and that she is the size I was when I started with the band. I wanted to tell her that I was not at that size, but I just kept my mouth shut. I know everyone struggles and my struggles were just as hard as anyone else's. I wish I had not said anything. 

I wore a size 14 formal gown for the Barrister's Ball at school which was super exciting.  I saw the above-friend looking at the size on my dress when she came over to visit. I feel weird when she looks through my clothes. I don't know. She just makes me really uncomfortable now. 

There's more to it, but I don't feel like writing it out. Hopefully my next fill will be more productive in this weight loss. One good thing is that I am looking forward to summer so I can go bike riding, play basketball and play tennis. I haven't had these thoughts in many years, so I guess even a little weight loss gives more energy. I can't wait.

I am a little worried. I have not lost any weight since my fill back on Jan 3. I was excited at losing, but I am losing and gaining the same few pounds even though my diet has been consistent. TIme for another fill next month? I will have to talk to the doctor. I was hoping to be down at least 8 pounds for january and I haven't lost much. I weigh myself every monday morning and i was up 1.4 pounds this week. THis sucks.

I'm finally back in school for the spring semester. I went home on Dec. 16, 2006 and had my pre-op stuff as well as the consult with the doctor. He did say that I was on the very edge of the qualifying BMI and asked why I wanted to have this done. I told him that the past few years, my weight has only gone up no matter how much I diet and workout. Also, I do serious workouts like kickboxing aerobics and workign with a trainer. However, I just kept getting bigger. 

He said that the lap band was used successfully on overweight (v. obese) patients overseas and that I was making a good decision. I was self-pay and I went to Baptist Hospital on Monday, Dec. 18 to get my MRI, bloodwork, and xrays. The nurse couldn't find a vein in my arm and started to move the needle back and forth. I was watching until she started moving the needle when I started to get nauseous. The staff was very nice and helpful.  Later that same afternoon, I went to see Dr. Morton. He explained the above and gave me a very helpful book to read: Laparoscopic Adjustable Gastric Banding by Jessie H. Ahroni, Ph.D., A.R.N.P. He also answered some questions I had submitted through an online slideshow that I had to watch on the band pre-surgery. 

I am kind of disappointed since I only lost 7 pounds with the pre-op liquid diet. THe day of surgery, I weighted 215. 

The day of surgery, I was led into a curtained off area and told to change into the hospital gown and shower cap thingy. There, I was given about 5 different anti-nausea medication and met the anesthesiologists who were super nice. Once was kinda hot and of course, I got embarrassed while he was talking to me. LOL...

After the surgery, I was led into my room where my sisters and parents were waiting for me. I kept drifting in and out of sleep and every time I would wake up, MSNBC was on with the stupid stock quotes and news. I wanted to watch something fun, but my parents kept it on that channel. Whatever...

I was helped to the restroom because I kept having to pee out iv drip stuff. I was actually discharged that night and got home around 9pm. 

THe next few days I was really sore and I was also really restricted.  I was told I could shower, but for some reason I was a little scared of the water hitting my bandages. I am so weird, i know. 

I had a good time at home and I went in for a post -op checkup on January 3, 2007 where I also got my first fill - 1cc. I am not sure what type of band I have and will definitely ask the next time I go home.  He gave me a fill so early because I had to go back to MIchigan for school. I was also given the name of a local doctor in case of emergencies. 

So far, things are good. One of my really good friends came to see me on Jan. 9 and she said that I was lookign slimmer. Also, I had started my regular foods by this time and it was kinda hard watching her eat whatever she wanted while I had to portion out my half cup of food and slowly eat it. 

I am following the directions re: portion sizes, protein and such, but I am not that happy with my rate of loss. I was told that the fill takes about two weeks to kick in so I hope it works. Also, I am down a total of 12 pounds since I started the pre-op diet in the beginning of Dec. I thought I would lose more and I guess slow and steady is the key, but still...I wonder if it has to do with the fact that I have less to lose.  Anyway, I will probably get another fill sometime this semester, but right now I am still watching what I eat, even if I get hungry sooner. I am following the rules. My friends are so funny, the ones that know are supportive and no one has been condescending or anything. I did go to the welcome back party at a club the school sponsored and I had fun, but I didn't participate in the after-clubbing pizza gorge that my friends had. That was another sad day for me sorta because that was another thing I felt I shouldn't participate in, but I felt better the next day. 

I have set Mondays as my weigh in day. The monday after my fill, I was up 2 pounds, but this past monday, I had lost those two. I hope I can keep up the 2 pound per week loss. 

THis week, I was going to start going back to the YMCA but due to the ice storms, it is way too icy and I am afraid to drive on that. 

that's about it so far.

I am scheduled for Lap Band surgery with Dr. Morton on December 21, 2006. I am a little nervous, but more so with exams next week than anything else. Also, this pre-op diet is a little difficult. I was told to for the first 7 days to drink two protein shakes a day plus a low fat frozen meal such as lean cuisine or smart ones or something with less than 15 grams of sugar. I tried to get the ones with the least sugar and most protein which was the santa fe rice and beans. I have been eating it verrrry sloowwwlly so I can fill up and then I have some jello. Also, I have been going through two pitchers a day of crystal light and tons of water to keep myself full. I gained some weight, but it could have been because of TOM, but it is going down day by day. My mom wanted to know why I just didn't follow this liquid diet thing until I lose a lot of weight. I told her I am hungry all the time wiht this and that one day I will probably cave and eat a bunch of stuff. I have tried EVERYthing in losing weight. I am 28 and I want to be able to be the cute one for once instead of constantly being looked over, be it with people, guys, coworkers etc... THat is the downside of being overweight. No matter how gregarious I try to be, I am still interrupted, or not listened to and that makes me upset. Oh well... I know I have deeper problems probably, but I know that I need help with losing this weight.