bitter sweet

Jan 14, 2009

ok so im going to get down right honest with this post guys so bear with me....so as you may know i have been battling back and forth with myself with the idea of if i did or didnt get the surgery....so for some reason (im thinking time of month) i kinda had the blues a little....well i decided to eat through it....i would get full...burp and find something else to eat...crackers went down so well!! UGGHHH got to hate those crumbly things...and long behold my day at the doc was bitter sweet....i lost 15 pounds which is great and she was excited but i was thinking how in the world did i let myself gain 8 pounds in one day!!!!!!! now i know granted some of the weight (not much) was from the bulky clothing because i usually weigh in the birthday suit but i was so disgusted....i hate getting set back.. so now im one a quest to get this extra off.....

so heres the plan...straight protein shakes and water til monday 9 go see the surgeon) and i have to make sure i get my exercise.... I am so disappointed in myself...but i know i cant cry over spilled milk because i know what i did was wrong and i need to get my act together....

PCP  says she thinks 140 is unrealistic for my frame...and if i get to 170 or 180 she will be happy......i guess 180 is better then 260 :)..."its not about the weight its about the health" she says. "your a beautiful girl even with the weight but imagine how much more so you will be when your healthier and happier"..... gotta love her...she was so nice to me today....guess she was really happy wit the weight loss...her goal for me...250 by april 16th...hmmm i think i can shatter that and match her 250 with 230 :) but its going to take a lot of effort and hard work :)....end toga blog

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