mskarma36
Those Damn Fat Glasses! Are you still wearing them???
Feb 06, 2013
OK! As i found out what my new obsession is ( Weighing myself) I figured out in one of my meditation sessions that I still have and more than likely will have on forever are those damn fat glasses. For those of you that may not know what in the world I am talking about it kind of goes like this. You have spent 80% of your like in various stages of fatness and/or thickness depending on where and how you grew up. (come on fat is fat). Well you have seen yourself as big in every mirror to the point that you stopped looking in the mirror. Until weeks months and in my case years after your surgery you look in the mirror and what do you see. THOSE DAMN FLAWS!! not the thinner you. Don't get me wrong you have the thin person moments. You know what I am talking about. You go to the store and you pick up the size 16 or 18 jeans or the xx-l or 1x or 2x top because you have yet to realize that you have slimmed down just that much. those are fat people glasses.
This is how I realized I have been wearing them since before the surgery and still after. My husband purchased me a new laptop for Christmas. and I was transferring all my pictures from and external hard-drive and my old laptop to the new one(Yes I have major space now) well I had old pictures and new pictures of me. That is not a normal thing for me. I say this because pre-surgery I was always behind the camera. I hated being in pictures but loved to take them. Until post-surgery I realized I had a lot more pictures of me. the funny thing that caught my eye was not the fact that I had lost half a person or a small child, but the fact that I was smiling way more and way larger than normal. I could still see the flaws, you know what I am talking about. the last few pounds or oh I was only a few month post surgery or that was a year out. as I went through the pics I could see that I had become smaller and then I tried to remember my frame of mind at that time. Then I realized I had on those damn fat glasses.
I say this because about 2 year post-op I got down from 270 lbs to 125 lbs. that was not a good look for me. Sure I was within the BMI and weight range that was considered the standard. but 90% of the time I had on sweat pants and a t-shirt unless I was at work and then I was in business attire. To me everyone looks good in business attire. well now that I had to go back to square one starting over as I have gained 30 lbs that should not be there I look at myself in the mirror and I see the old me. I get on the scale and I feel like the old me. when I say the old me I mean the pre-surgery me. I find myself in sweat pants yet again 75% of the time. I still have my thin people cloths hanging in the closet as motivation but I am still seeing the fat me.
I wonder at what point post-op do you take off and put up or better yet throw away those fat people glasses. for right now they hang around my neck as a reminder of were I don't want to return. they hand around my neck as a reminder of were my heart cannot stnad to remain. they hand around my neck as a reminder of the 8-10 hours I spend on an OR table and the months I spent learning what would make my dump to the point that I ran in the other direction when offered. This is why I still have and want to have my Damn Fat glasses! Why do you still have yours.
