Okay, I am outta control!

Dec 09, 2009

Ok, since I found out that I am going to be having the surgery and that I have to start the diet on Monday I have been outta control with food. Well, maybe not out of control, but definitely a bit over doing it. I swear I feel like I am getting ready to lose a best friend. This disturbs and scares the hell out of me. I have done research and read and asked a million questions about this procedure and how it will change my life and yet none of it prepared me for the reality of my addiction to food. I was talking to my mom on the phone last night (she had the surgery a year and a half ago) and when I told her that as I am eating I am thinking about what I am going to eat next. She told me that she learned a lot of people are like that. It makes sense when you think of the alarming rate of obesity in our country. I can not even watch television without being tempted every 15 minutes. Our way of life is so completely surrounded by food. Thanksgiving, Christmas, BBQ's, everything. Talk about a battle. I have faith that I can somehow learn to manage this addiction. It's funny, it is the one thing in my life that I have absolutely no control of. I am going to start keeping a journal on here because I wonder just how many people are feeling the same way I am. Self realization is very hard. I finally uploaded pics last night of me in shorts for all the world to see. Come to find out the only one I was worried about seeing those pics was me. Very hard for me to look at them.

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