Still hanging in there....

Sep 12, 2012

Hello OH family. I hope everyone is moving along in your journey to a healthier you. Since the last time I have posted I finally made it into the century club I was happy to see the loss on the scale. I also notice my clothes are fitting looser, so it might be shopping time in October I still have trouble seeing the weight loss because my tummy is still very large and my face is still full. Once my double chin and tummy go away I think I will feel better about my progress. There have been a few days when I didn't eat healthy, but I get back on the wagon quickly. My new tummy is still picky about foods....things I like, my tummy will disagree and send it back. I dint see how anorexics and bulimics do it, I hate vomiting. It is a terrible feeling for me. It also upsets my husband greatly, so he becomes really nervous when I eat sometimes. He worries about me eating something my tummy doesn't like or eating too much. He has become the food police around here, I guess I need one. My mind tells me I can have certain things, and my body reminds me my system is different. I am still trying to get my protein in through food, so every meal I have I eat my meat first, then veggies. I dint even get to any starches because I'm full  by then.

In other news, I had a ah ha moment. I got in my car to drive. My tummy is about 6 inches away from the steering wheel! Also when I have to turn to see if cars are coming, I can turn more then my head. I can twist my body around to get a better view! I was so surprised because that shows me I am still losing weight. I also can fit a skirt that I haven't worn in 5 years because I was too big, but I kept it because I liked it. I take pictures of myself a little more and friends and family rave about the weight I'm losing. That is a very good feeling. It is helping me restore my self esteem and self confidence...things that I lost when gained a lot of weight.

Also since I posted last time I have started taking PT. I started with twice a week. Next week (Which is my birthday week ) I begin 3 times a week. The first 2 weeks I slept a lot because I was so tired from therapy. My body said "What the hell are you doing? We don't exercise" I really want to get rid of my wheelchair and walker and cane. I have to use my cane to walk because for some reason my balance is off. I cant walk in a straight line. The therapist said that happens because my brain is saying one thing, and my body is revolting and doing it's own thing.  My knees, hip and back hurt so bad when I try standing for longer than 5 minutes, but slowly my endurance is increasing. God help me when I start 3 times a week. Some days my body says I cant keep PT because it hurts, but I push myself. I am used to pain, but these are new pains so hopefully they will change soon. I really want to go back to working again. I have my own business which is slow right now because that is all I can handle now, but I would like to bring in more income so we can enjoy traveling or just having a weekend get away..........things we stopped doing when I got sick. We also have a ton of medical bills that need to be paid. We are thanking God for His help keeping us above the poverty line. So many people are struggling financially and the stress is killing them. I worry sometimes about our bills, but I realize we are doing the best we can on a one person income.

Lastly September 17th is my 41st birthday. I thank God for these years because for a long time I didn't think I would see 40. My parents both died at young ages. My family tradition is to celebrate your birthday all week. I have to figure out what I'm going to do. I know I'm going to Bingo which is my new hobby I enjoy. Part of me is sad I cant have cake and ice cream for my birthday (yes, I am a grown kid), but I know that its healthier not to have it. I have to find something to substitute for it. Well that's enough for me right now, but keep in touch and let me know how you are doing. We all need motivation, some more than others. I need a lot, this journey is completely different from what I am used to

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About Me
Waldorf, MD
Location
60.0
BMI
RNY
Surgery
05/21/2012
Surgery Date
Surgeon
Jun 14, 2008
Member Since

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