MTygah08

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Well, one week till this life changing event happens. I've starting my liquid diet and...I'm about ready to kill somebody. Everyone is running for the hills when they see me coming. I think that eating my "funeral food" which consisted of two visits to In-N-Out burger set me off a little bit. 
I've broken down a little bit and decided to get some chinese food: Wonton Soup and an egg roll. I'm okay with protein shakes but really wanted to chew on something prior to having two / three weeks of post-op liquids. I'm still learning to stop eating and drinking during meals. Very hard habit to break.  Let's try this again tomorrow.
I'm nowhere near as nervous as I once was preparing for my surgery date. I feel at peace with my decision and my overall future goals are keeping focused. 

 I found out the news right as I pulled out of my driveway on my way to see my nutritionist over in Campbell, CA. The doctor’s office in Mountain View, CA called to let me know that the insurance approved my bariatric surgery…on the first try. I had scheduled the surgery for December 19^th because I had the shadow of a doubt that I’d be denied after the first letter and have it pushed back a couple months more. Not the case here.

I’ve taken the necessary steps needed to qualify for the procedure while also taking care of myself by losing weight in preparation (I started at 345lbs and am now down to 313lbs). Although I’m still trying to get under 300lbs before December 19^th, I am once again, having “thoughts.”

Thoughts of: “You’ve lost 32 lbs. in two-and-a-half months…You CAN do it on your own.”

And then there are other thoughts of: “WHAT-IF you slip up again and gain it all back?”  

Back and forth:

“It’s only a tool, it’ll hold you responsible for your own well-being.”

“WHAT-IF you get too skinny, have too much loose skin, stretch marks… etc. How will you remedy that?”

“You’ll feel and look so much better.”  

“WHAT-IF you lose too much lean muscle mass?”

Along with all of that there's the never-ending struggle to attain the proper fluid ounces along with protein grams on a daily basis how will I meet them?

Just random thoughts flying through my head everyone.  It’s happening so fast.

 I’d just thought I’d share in hoping that someone would care.

Reading other personal experiences on this site has definitely been insightful in how I'm starting to look at this life-changing event for myself.

I have been able to carry my weight pretty well (heaviest weight was 345 lbs at one point) with the clothes that I wear except for suits (I've been told that I look good in them but don't feel that way with excess stomach fat protruding around the waistline area).

I took the time to reflect on how I got this point. The answer was fairly simple: Football.

In High School during my junior year I was a two-sport athlete when I lived in New York. Standing at 6ft 2, I weighed then around 210-215 playing baseball & football. As both a running back and an outfielder, it felt great to have the perfect combination of speed, endurance and power (not to mention a metabolism that was out of this world.)

Fast forwarding on to my freshman year in college, my head coach told me five words at the end of the season that I never forgot and still resonate in my subconscious: "throw on some more, son" as in throw on some more weight meaning there was going to be a position change for me in the near future even though he PROMISED me when I was being recruited that I'd be starting at tailback by my sophomore year, oh well.

Here's a breakdown of what was "thrown on" during those years:

Sophomore: pre-season: 245lbs - moved to Fullback, then moved to tight end, post-season: 255lbs.

Junior: pre-season: 260lbs - moved to defensive end than back to tight end, post-season: 269 lbs.

Senior: 275 lbs. - moved to offensive guard, then defensive tackle, post-season: 280 lbs.

After my eligibility was used up, I tried playing Arena Football around the area and was doing well...until I shattered my left ankle.  Going into depression and still "throwing it on" like it was ingrained into me by my head by coach; I reached a weight that I never thought I'd get to: 330 lbs.

I've never been able to get below 300 lbs in eight plus years...and it's been frustrating. Even though I continued to play semi-pro after my ankle healed I was never the same. Still having the same "throw it on" mentality when it came to food. I just played my last season of tackle football, not so much because of my age, but because my joints just can't take the stress of my weight any longer.

Since the end of the season I've stayed around the 330 range up until a couple of weeks ago when I watched a program called: Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead. I've given the regime a shot and have lost 20+ lbs over three and a half weeks by juicing and eating fruits and veggies while cutting out everything else, pretty much going vegan. (Heck, it's not as bad as I thought it would be.)

Although I know that this is not an end-all-be-all solution, it's one more method I thought I'd try before finally going the VSG route. (Which my wife is also two months post-op from the same procedure, btw.)

I also got a little long-winded in writing this out but wanted to share part of my story so far.

Looking foward to this journey and where it may take me if I follow. It's also great when people can support each other like this. God knows I need it now with the decision that I'm about to make. 

Thank you for taking the time to read my first blog.  Much appreciated.