MzFatNOmore
OMG people I swear!!!!!!!
Feb 18, 2007
OMG People I swear!!! This question is for anyone out here who has to deal with INSENSITIVE A%^*&(^%!!! I had this discussion with my so called friend and she was asking me a GAZZILION questions as to WHY I should have wls! She wanted to know why couldn't I stay on the 1200 plan for the rest of my life :o! Come on now you cannot stay on that forever. I then told her that this was MY body and I should NOT have to justify why I am having surgery! If you cannot be supportive to me then I will NOt share with you the details of my surgery.
I am so mad because people always think that we are doing this because we are either LAZY, don't care anymore or just are doing this for COSMETIC reasons! She wasn't being helpful more like being sarcastic! I told her you walk in my shoes and feel your Femur bone pop out of place because of Osteoarthritis or because your carteliage is so thin your bones no LONGER can rest in it! You tell me how you would feel laying down after eating and feeling your heart beating OUT of your chest! Or feeling your bones grind everytime you walk!
My family has a history of heart disease, heart attacks, cancer HIGH cholesterol and High blood pressure. My mama has Osteo and Rheumotoid Arthritis. Do I want any of that? of course NOT! Then of course with me being African-American it is NOT sociably accepted to have surgery because I should be proud of my curves that GOD gave me. Curves I love but dying soon I DO NOT want!
I am sooo sorry everyone but I needed to vent at ignorant people.
So my question is how do you deal with such negativity from people who "think" they are doing the right thing by nagging you to damn death?
I WANT to live am I being selfish for that? I think NOT
Carol
I'm almost here!
Feb 17, 2007
I started working out NON STOP and have upped my excercise to 8 times in 7 days without a BREAK! I worked out so much that I started gaining weight!! I called the dietecian on Feb 15th and told her about me gaining weight. She says that I am gaining muscle as well as retaining fluid in my tissues. That's from me doing EXTREME workouts. She suggested that I measure everything and CUT back on excercising. WELLLLL that is proven to be true because I have LOST 2 more pounds so now I am BELOW my goal weight. I am still so horrified to get weighed next Wed. I don't want to be dissapointed any longer.
I have decided to work out at least 3 times a week versus me working out 7 days a week! Yes it will be hard because I love working out BUT I have to do this the healthy way. There will be plenty of time for extreme workouts AFTER surgery lol.
More to come in a few days.....
The realization
Jan 27, 2007
I was doing the Tai Chi Part and it all hit me. I am 6 pounds from my goal weight to have my surgery scheduled. I am having surgery for ME this will be my gift to me. I am so excited to know that soon all the pain I was having will be gone! YES gone! I just pray that I make it through surgery which I know I will.
I am DOING this for me! I still cant believe it I am almost here in my long long journey. I will make it!!
My Journey
Jan 11, 2007
My WLS Book Review
*WLS for Dummies(a wls bible excellent!)**
*Gut feelings- Carnie Wilson(a good book)**
*I'm still hungry-(Carnie too it's ok I wouldn't buy it again DONT follow her diet plan)**
*Exodus From Obesity-( GOOD for post op)**
*Eating well after weight loss surgery- (Fabulous takes your from stage 1 to beyond)!**
*WLS finding the thin person hiding inside of you- Barbara Thompson ( MY FAVORITE book it's very easy to read and understand that's going with me to the hospital whenever I go)**
*Under Construction- Jackie Guerra- She was really funny about her wls**
*Doctor's guide to weight loss surgery-Dr. Louis Flancbaum( I am going to read that starting today)**
*The real skinny on weight loss surgery- Julie Janeway, Karen Sparks and Randal Baker MD FACS( It was ok it was dealing with the emotional stages of wls)
100 reasons to have WLS
Jan 11, 2007
1.To feel good about ourselves.
2.So we won't think people are laughing or talking about us.
3.To buy clothes in a normal store and actually get clothes with some style, to them that fit correctly.
4.To have more energy!
5.To be able to tie your shoes/paint toenails.
6.To be able to sit on a floor and get up gracefully.
7.To wear a bathing suit.
8.To cross your legs or sit Indian style.
9.To fit into an airline/theatre/bus/whatever seat without spilling over and without having to see "that look" from the person who has to sit beside you.
10.So our ankles won't swell.
11.To fit into a booth at any restaurant.
12.To not need an extension to a seat belt on an airplane and to have the tray
table not balance on our bellies.
13.To not worry about being decapitated in our cars with our seat belts on if we should be in an accident.
14.To not turn beet red after moderate exertion.
15.To be able to pick something up off the floor.
16.Panty Hose that fit!
17.To go to an amusement park and ride the rides.
18.To be able to sit in any chair without worry of breakage.
19.To not have to apologize when caught in a narrow aisle and have someone need to get by.
20.To go dancing, sky diving, bungee jumping....
21.To be able to go horseback riding or ride a bike.
22.To not worry about rashes and sweating.
23.To not have to listen to "caring" people ask why you don't diet or worse still... "Gee you have such a pretty face".
24.To not worry about spilling food, sauces or gravy down the front of your blouse/dress/shirt when eating.
25.To not have to think up some excuse for not doing something because you know your weight will impede you.
26.To not have your belly hit the steering wheel and to be able to fit comfortably in the driver's seat.
27.To have a bra fit comfortably and to be able to buy underwear at Victoria's Secret rather than at "Tubby the Underwear Guy".
28.To not have to worry about the weight limit of step stools, ladders, motorcycle, exercise equipment, etc.
29.To not get stuck in a turn style.
30.To not wake up feeling achy in the back or to have ache free legs and feet.
31.So the bathroom scale won't creak and groan when you step on it.
32.To be able to leave the tablecloth on the table at a restaurant instead of dragging it with you when you get up.
33.So you won't look the other way when you see yourself in a monitor where they have security cameras.
34.To never be embarrassed about your size.
35.To not count tying shoes as daily exercise.
36.To not have to wait for the handicap stall when there are plenty of other stalls available.
37.To not be more out of shape than seniors.
38.To not break toilet seat when leaning to one side.
39.To be able to put on wedding rings again.
40.To try to make a double chin and fail!
41.Buy clothing bargains to fit the next year ... and they do!
Not to have to worry about plastic zippers or having your pants bust open.
42.To have Normal waistbands rather than elastic!
43.To wear knee socks correctly instead of worn like slouches!
44.To look good in a tee shirt!
45.To try on slacks or jeans and have the pant leg actually fit over leg!
46.To be able to get close to sink and not come away with a wet belly!
47.To get out of a stuffed chair GRACEFULLY and not look down to see if the chair has come up with you!
48.To not worry if the hairdresser's smock will fit!
49.To not be self-conscious about eating in front of others!
50.To not be afraid to ask which hairstyle suits your face.
51.To not have people checking you out after looking in your grocery cart.
52.To not feel (and look) like a sausage in stirrup pants.
53.To have your friends NOT be embarrassed to be seen with you.
54.To get promotions/hired or close that sale.
55.Pants that stay up because your waist is smaller than your butt!
56.No more boobs! (this is for the guys!)
57.Wearing shorts or tank tops without fear of arrest or grossing out others!
58.To not have the fear of being rejected.
59.To successfully flirt!
60.To not worry about how to get in and out of the back seat in a two door car!
61.One size fits all and it fits you!
62.To have a lap.
63.To not have the car you are ride in slant in your direction.
64.To be able to use toilet paper as it was meant to be used and not to have to invent ways to "get the job done".
65.To not have to watch TV news reports on fat people in hopes that you haven't been caught on camera!
66.To be able to get between cars in a parking lot without wiping the dust off with your belly and your butt.
67.No more heat rashes and chafing in the upper thighs.
68.So that the cloth in the thigh area doesn't wear away long before the rest of the slacks do!
69.To meet a friend online and not be horrified to have to send a picture of yourself.
70.To not take fat references and fat jokes personally.
71.To know you can go anywhere because wherever you sit you CAN be comfortable and look at ease.
72.To shop at the mall and not have your back ache from lugging your huge butt and stomach around!
73.To be able to stand still, carrying nothing and still look poised.
74.To be able to cross your arms across your chest without them resting on your stomach!
75.To have your feet get smaller.
76.Using your mouth to taste and chew food rather than as just a route to get the food from your lips to your stomach.
77.Blood pressure returns to normal.
78.To avoid other health complications from being overweight.
79.To be able to borrow a co-worker's jacket for an important meeting.
80.To meet someone for the first time and their eyes don't pop out of their head with amazement...because they never knew you're fat!
81.To see your reflection in a mirror or store window without turning away!
82.To wear a watch with a regular length watch band.
83.To look in the mirror when getting your hair cut without thinking you have the biggest face in the world.
84.To not mind getting your picture taken.
85.To not avoid going to the doctor because you have to get "weighed" in.
86.To wake up each morning feeling energized and ready to go.
87.To not even worry about squeezing into small spaces.
88.To not have to enter an elevator and check the weight limit.
89.To look in your closet and have problems deciding which stylish outfit to work since you have so many that look good and fit well.
90.To not have to lie perfectly still in bed at night for fear of breaking the bed!
91.To buy tie shoes instead of slip-ons!
92.To be able to walk any distance without looking for a bench to sit on.
93.To look forward to shopping and just trying on clothes!
94.To be able to drive by any fast food place without salivating!
95.To be able to shop at the same store for food instead of having to remember where you shopped last night for the junk food so you can avoid that store for a few days!
96.To not feel lower than low when an innocent child remarks about your size!
97.To not constantly be thinking of where your next morsel of food is coming from.
98.To walk up a flight of stairs and not have to lose your breath
99.No more pain medication for aches and pains
-- Author Unknown
January Dates
Jan 08, 2007
Jan 8th-
I got a call from Kaiser to reschedule my Surgeon appt and she asked who did I want to see? Wellll the first choice was Dr Baggs and the 2nd choice was Dr Park. She hold on, I said" Ok" and she came back on the phone and guess who she had a cancellation with? DR AARON BAGGS!!!!!! I almost fell out lol I said I will take it!
Jan 11th 2007-
I fell off the wagon and I just got out of an verbally abusive relationship. My ex partner did NOT want me to have surgery!! Wellll I dumped my partner and have a surgeon appointment today!! I have been around negative people and now need to have people BACK in my corner again! This time I am ready and NOTHING is going to stop me!!
Hi everyone I had my appointment with Dr Baggs he's soooooooooooo sweet! I even met a friend in the waiting room her and her hubby! We both have Dr Baggs she is so sweet she lives in Vacaville. Ok now on to the news:
I ONLY need to lose another 15 pounds and then they will schedule my surgery so I have managed to KEEP off the half of the weight that I lost yippeeeee! I lost 29 and gained back 14 so that's better then ALL of it. Sooo of to either weight watchers or doing that 1200 calorie diet im still torn *sigh* I will ask for help for that in a few minutes lol.
Dr Baggs said I will have a wonderful surgery because all of my Co morbidites are very manageable(SP) yippeeee!! He said im at a great age to have surgery and will heal fast so my surgery will go great!! He said the out come was wonderful for me whewwww lol.
I also got the relaxation cd which I will download to my Ipod to get me geared up. So I had really great news today so im really excited! 
Carol
100 reasons for WLS
1.To feel good about ourselves.
2.So we won't think people are laughing or talking about us.
3.To buy clothes in a normal store and actually get clothes with some style, to them that fit correctly.
4.To have more energy!
5.To be able to tie your shoes/paint toenails.
6.To be able to sit on a floor and get up gracefully.
7.To wear a bathing suit.
8.To cross your legs or sit Indian style.
9.To fit into an airline/theatre/bus/whatever seat without spilling over and without having to see "that look" from the person who has to sit beside you.
10.So our ankles won't swell.
11.To fit into a booth at any restaurant.
12.To not need an extension to a seat belt on an airplane and to have the tray
table not balance on our bellies.
13.To not worry about being decapitated in our cars with our seat belts on if we should be in an accident.
14.To not turn beet red after moderate exertion.
15.To be able to pick something up off the floor.
16.Panty Hose that fit!
17.To go to an amusement park and ride the rides.
18.To be able to sit in any chair without worry of breakage.
19.To not have to apologize when caught in a narrow aisle and have someone need to get by.
20.To go dancing, sky diving, bungee jumping....
21.To be able to go horseback riding or ride a bike.
22.To not worry about rashes and sweating.
23.To not have to listen to "caring" people ask why you don't diet or worse still... "Gee you have such a pretty face".
24.To not worry about spilling food, sauces or gravy down the front of your blouse/dress/shirt when eating.
25.To not have to think up some excuse for not doing something because you know your weight will impede you.
26.To not have your belly hit the steering wheel and to be able to fit comfortably in the driver's seat.
27.To have a bra fit comfortably and to be able to buy underwear at Victoria's Secret rather than at "Tubby the Underwear Guy".
28.To not have to worry about the weight limit of step stools, ladders, motorcycle, exercise equipment, etc.
29.To not get stuck in a turn style.
30.To not wake up feeling achy in the back or to have ache free legs and feet.
31.So the bathroom scale won't creak and groan when you step on it.
32.To be able to leave the tablecloth on the table at a restaurant instead of dragging it with you when you get up.
33.So you won't look the other way when you see yourself in a monitor where they have security cameras.
34.To never be embarrassed about your size.
35.To not count tying shoes as daily exercise.
36.To not have to wait for the handicap stall when there are plenty of other stalls available.
37.To not be more out of shape than seniors.
38.To not break toilet seat when leaning to one side.
39.To be able to put on wedding rings again.
40.To try to make a double chin and fail!
41.Buy clothing bargains to fit the next year ... and they do!
Not to have to worry about plastic zippers or having your pants bust open.
42.To have Normal waistbands rather than elastic!
43.To wear knee socks correctly instead of worn like slouches!
44.To look good in a tee shirt!
45.To try on slacks or jeans and have the pant leg actually fit over leg!
46.To be able to get close to sink and not come away with a wet belly!
47.To get out of a stuffed chair GRACEFULLY and not look down to see if the chair has come up with you!
48.To not worry if the hairdresser's smock will fit!
49.To not be self-conscious about eating in front of others!
50.To not be afraid to ask which hairstyle suits your face.
51.To not have people checking you out after looking in your grocery cart.
52.To not feel (and look) like a sausage in stirrup pants.
53.To have your friends NOT be embarrassed to be seen with you.
54.To get promotions/hired or close that sale.
55.Pants that stay up because your waist is smaller than your butt!
56.No more boobs! (this is for the guys!)
57.Wearing shorts or tank tops without fear of arrest or grossing out others!
58.To not have the fear of being rejected.
59.To successfully flirt!
60.To not worry about how to get in and out of the back seat in a two door car!
61.One size fits all and it fits you!
62.To have a lap.
63.To not have the car you are ride in slant in your direction.
64.To be able to use toilet paper as it was meant to be used and not to have to invent ways to "get the job done".
65.To not have to watch TV news reports on fat people in hopes that you haven't been caught on camera!
66.To be able to get between cars in a parking lot without wiping the dust off with your belly and your butt.
67.No more heat rashes and chafing in the upper thighs.
68.So that the cloth in the thigh area doesn't wear away long before the rest of the slacks do!
69.To meet a friend online and not be horrified to have to send a picture of yourself.
70.To not take fat references and fat jokes personally.
71.To know you can go anywhere because wherever you sit you CAN be comfortable and look at ease.
72.To shop at the mall and not have your back ache from lugging your huge butt and stomach around!
73.To be able to stand still, carrying nothing and still look poised.
74.To be able to cross your arms across your chest without them resting on your stomach!
75.To have your feet get smaller.
76.Using your mouth to taste and chew food rather than as just a route to get the food from your lips to your stomach.
77.Blood pressure returns to normal.
78.To avoid other health complications from being overweight.
79.To be able to borrow a co-worker's jacket for an important meeting.
80.To meet someone for the first time and their eyes don't pop out of their head with amazement...because they never knew you're fat!
81.To see your reflection in a mirror or store window without turning away!
82.To wear a watch with a regular length watch band.
83.To look in the mirror when getting your hair cut without thinking you have the biggest face in the world.
84.To not mind getting your picture taken.
85.To not avoid going to the doctor because you have to get "weighed" in.
86.To wake up each morning feeling energized and ready to go.
87.To not even worry about squeezing into small spaces.
88.To not have to enter an elevator and check the weight limit.
89.To look in your closet and have problems deciding which stylish outfit to work since you have so many that look good and fit well.
90.To not have to lie perfectly still in bed at night for fear of breaking the bed!
91.To buy tie shoes instead of slip-ons!
92.To be able to walk any distance without looking for a bench to sit on.
93.To look forward to shopping and just trying on clothes!
94.To be able to drive by any fast food place without salivating!
95.To be able to shop at the same store for food instead of having to remember where you shopped last night for the junk food so you can avoid that store for a few days!
96.To not feel lower than low when an innocent child remarks about your size!
97.To not constantly be thinking of where your next morsel of food is coming from.
98.And the 100th reason to lose 100 pounds.....
99.I'M WORTH IT!
-- Author Unknown
Jan 22nd- Ok I joined WW on the 12th of Jan and LOST a whopping 7.6 pounds! Yes that was ALOT ok and NOW I fell off the wagon and cheated yesterday and some of this morining. Dr Baggs said I needed to lose ONLY 15 pounds to go BUT why is this so hard! I know I want this more then anything and WHY am I sabbatoging my OWN self?? I know I need to workout but damnit I need to get this weight off!!!!! HELP!!
I didn't go!!!
Dec 12, 2006
Dec 12th-
I HAD an appoiment with Dr parks who I heard good things about. I didn't even go because my EX partner told me I DID NOT need surgery :( I knew in my heart I did.
The second Evaluation
Oct 31, 2006
I had a second Psych evaluation because there was a question that I had put on my questionaire about emotions and eating. PASSED!! I also had lost 29 pounds too!!!
Orientation and then some
Sep 05, 2006
I will have my Surgery orentation. That will be a 3 hour meeting. Yipppeeeeeee im getting closer. This means I will have my official weigh in and would be required to lose 10%. I will go back to Weight Watchers to lose this 10% of my weight. Then after that they schedule me for my surgeon consult. It is a long process but it will be well worth it :-). Soooo in other words I'm BACKKKK!!!!! lol
Sept 5th -
I had my orientation and it was long lol. I also weigh more then what I thought I would too. I have 31 pounds to lose or 10% of my weight. In a few weeks I will also have a mandatory Nutritional meeting too. Then after that I will have my surgeon consultation. I also met Dr Baggs whom I want to do my surgery and I will have him too :) I learned alot from my meeting. I started on the 1200 calorie diet that Kaiser gave us and I bombed on that, I rejoined weight watchers and am on The Core program. I feel better doing that and not so deprived. So now the count down has begun......
June what a MONTH!
Jun 02, 2006
June 2nd-
My Dr told me today that he has ran out of pain medications options for me. I am so devitstated he said" Carol im bumping my head against the wall, I have given all that I could give you and your knee is NOT responding to the pain medications!" OMG I was balling all day and today too on 6/3/06. My psyc evaluation is on the 6th and I am so nervous it's going to be 2 HOURS LONG! I also have an appoinment with my Orthopedic Dr. Dr Murota she was my mama's Doctor too and she has a outstanding reputation at kaiser. Wish me luck in the up comming days :-)
June 6th-
Psych evaluation and of all days 06/06/06 YIKES!! I have it with a lady named Robin Crainer ( I hope she's nice) Today is the day for my evaluation. Everyone on here says that im going to do great and despite todays date I know in my heart that I will :-) I will update this when I get back today.
I also have an appt with my Orthopedic Dr too Dr Murota she's really great. She gave me a shot of Cortosone in my knee to help with the pain. My knee feels brand new well I still have some pain in it but I can bend it.
Those who prayed for my Psych eval THANK YOU!!!!! My LCSW first of all said that I was VERY VERY informed! I even told her what Doctor I wanted as well as were I wanted my surgery to be preformed at Kaiser Richmond.
She had a 3 page questionaire of questions that she asked me . She asked me everything from what I expected to have from having wls, down to was I obese as a child. I was having fun I was talking so much about the process and what is expected out of have WLS that she told me to slow down lmaooo.
She then told me that I was a GREAT CANIDATE for WLS and would send my Dr the last part of my pre qualification papers to him Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.This is it everyone now I wait she said he should get it in about a week and wanted to also talk to him too. She was really nice too. Thanks again My OH family im excited now the waiting starts!
BrownEyes I did it :-) Thank You for supporting me too.
Carol
June 13th-
OMG I am so glad that I am PERSITANT! I called my Dr yesterday to see if he got the psych consult and he called me today and said " NO!!" I almost passed out at work! So I called my evaluator left her a message and told her that Dr Shun didn't get it yet and and she called me back and said that she could FAX it to him yippeeee. Dr Shun said "Carol if you get in touch with her today call me back because I really want you to have surgery and your chart is on my desk and it's so big!" Lmaoo so at 4:55pm I finally got through to the call center and they got AHOLD of my Doctor * a MIRACLE*!!!!!! So luckily she had her number on my cell number and that was her DIRECT number and I told him I talked to her and he said do you have her number? DO I???" Hell yeah!! lol He said "give it to me and he said Bye Carol I need to call her now!"
Please say a prayer for me! It should be faxed to the review team either today or tommorow. I had a feeling that he got all my info today and sent it. It was my 5 minute miracle today and I am glad that they are BOTH working for me. Ms Crainer was trying to get ahold of him and he was trying to get intouch with her. Ok I wanted to share im a step closer now.
June 14th- OMG It was sent!!!
I am soooo happy I called mt Doctor's office this afternoon and got a call back 15 minutes ago 4:45pm and it said " Ms C Dr Shun has sent the FAX TODAY!!!" I am so happy today that I could just cry so it's finally official and when I get my approval I will send my Doctor the Biggest card and balloon I could find! He has saved my life and I appreciate him so very very much. I love you Doctor Shun!!!
June 15th- THEY GOT THE FAX!!!!!
I have a question and am wondering about somethng. Ok I called this morning and they said that they have my paper work in the Bariatric Department and it was already submitted for review. Ok I pray ALOT lol and I felt in my heart that I was approved and then I called back this afternoon and out of curiosity I asked LIsa on option number 2 what Kaiser would I have surgery at and she told me Richmond!
Ok so what does that mean? Does that mean it was approved? or was she just giving me general info? She said I would get a letter next week about there decision (That was when I called EARLY this morning).
I want to do a back flip but I don't want to break my hips or hurt my knees anymore lol . Lord does this mean I am approved?
June 21st- OMG I was approved!
My heart doesn't know how to act so I am in tears. I am so very very happy that I was given the chance to have a new life. I am so grateful and feel so blessed to get this chance. I had a feeling when I was getting my nails done on the 15th that I was approved it was a warm feeling that I had al lover. Something said" Carol you are APPROVED!" Low and behold I was they just got the information in there system. I also recieved my letter that was dated on the 19th of June. Things are going so smoothly because it was meant to BE!
I have so many emotions going on right now and when I think of my body and all that I put it through I want to say that I am sorry. The pain that I put my body through it won't have to endure anymore. I have a new lease on life and I am APPROVED!!!!!!
My WLS Book Review
*WLS for Dummies(a wls bible excellent!)**
*Gut feelings- Carnie Wilson(a good book)**
*I'm still hungry-(Carnie too it's ok I wouldn't buy it again DONT follow her diet plan)**
*Exodus From Obesity-( GOOD for post op)**
*Eating well after weight loss surgery- (Fabulous takes your from stage 1 to beyond)!**
*WLS finding the thin person hiding inside of you- Barbara Thompson ( MY FAVORITE book it's very easy to read and understand that's going with me to the hospital whenever I go)**
*Under Construction- Jackie Guerra- She was really funny about her wls**
*Doctor's guide to weight loss surgery-Dr. Louis Flancbaum( I am going to read that starting today)**
*The real skinny on weight loss surgery- Julie Janeway, Karen Sparks and Randal Baker MD FACS( It was ok it was dealing with the emotional stages of wls)
