newwavetiff
August 26th, 1978. I am born and this is when it all starts. I weighed in at over 10 pounds. I have been overweight my whole life. Going through school that way was the toughest. I think it's tough for any kid going through school and be teased because you look different than everyone else. I don't remember having an ounce of self esteem growing up. Over the years, especially after high school, I became more secure and I really learned to not care about what others thought of me and that's one of the best things I've ever done. I wouldn't say I'm 100% in that area, not even close. But I am working on it! I always have wondered why my 2 older sisters and my younger brother never had a weight problem. It was just me. I get this from my mom, I guess. My mom has dealt with being overweight her whole life and if there's anyone that understands the struggles I go through with the way I look, it's her. And you know what I always get sick of hearing? 'Wow you've got a really pretty face. If you lost weight you would be really beautiful.' I don't know why people put so much emphasis on looks this way. The way I see it, it does not matter who you are on the outside, only on the inside. You may have a pretty face but be dead inside and that means nothing. People who have never been overweight or obese never will understand how hard it is to lose weight unless they have to go through it themselves. Now that my dad has gotten older, he has gained weight and he sees now just how hard it is!
I never thought my weight would get so out of control. My highest weight used to be 230 and I stayed around there for a very long time, of course bouncing back and forth with all the diets i've tried over the years, and I thought I would never go any higher than that. Now, I am around 311 pounds. It makes me want to cry. And that's not even my highest. Ever since my doc put me on blood pressure pills I have lost about 2 pounds so far. That was a ton to me! I have severe sleep apnea that I was diagnosed with about 3 or 4 years ago. I have acid reflux disease, which I've had for about the same amount of time. Ever since I started my new job (an office job) I have gained some weight and have had more pains than ever. I have to sleep with more than 7 pillows, just to be comfortable, and to help keep me from sleeping on my back. that's when my sleep apnea is at its worst. I'm at work right now so I'll have to write more later! lol
-my friend kim sent the following picture to me that she took about 7 or so months ago, before i had my surgery. I couldn't believe I used to look like this, and in a way, I still feel like this same girl even though I know I am much different. Seeing pictures like these really makes me extra grateful for the success i've had.-
THINGS I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO AFTER WLS:
-running around with lee and cameron--CHECK!
-playing with lee and cameron outside--CHECK!
-playing basketball with lee--CHECK!
-walking without my knees cracking--CHECK!
-finally seeing my kneecaps--CHECK!
-FINALLY having a regular period
-no more high blood pressure meds--CHECK!
-no more sleep apnea--CHECK!
-no more constant acid reflux--CHECK!
-swimming in public--CHECK!
-wearing normal sized clothes/bras/undies--CHECK!
-wearing a skirt or a form fitting dress!
-getting into that size 14 dress i bought 5 years ago with the tags--CHECK! NOW IT'S TOO COLD TO WEAR!
still on it--CHECK!
-wearing shorts w/out an elastic waistband--CHECK!
-wrapping a towel around my body--CHECK!
-not missing parts of my legs when i shave because i can't bend--CHECK!
that far!--CHECK!
-having a decent shoe size (i'm a size 12)--CHECK! i can get into a 10-10 1/2!
-not having sores in the folds of my skin
-no more thighs rubbing together
-down to 1 chin
-no more 'ghetto booty'--CHECK!
-fitting comfortably in my office chair--CHECK!
-fitting comfortably in my car--CHECK!
-being able to wear a seatbelt without it choking me--CHECK!
-i can sleep with way less than 7 pillows--CHECK!
-fitting comfortably on a toilet seat--CHECK!
-fitting on rides at amusement parks
-to have energy, for once in my life--CHECK!
-going out with friends and having a good time--CHECK!
-flirting with guys and not feeling insecure--CHECK!
-not to be embarassed to leave the house--CHECK!
-getting rid of this back pain--CHECK!
-no more 'cankles'--CHECK!
-i want to wear jewelry--MY BEAUTIFUL ENGAGEMENT RING!
-riding my bike that i bought 2 summers ago--CHECK!
-learning to rollerskate
-finally playing tennis
-fitting through turnstyles at stores/amusement parks--CHECK!
-fitting in theater seats--CHECK!
-not losing my breath after walking a short distance--CHECK!
-seeing my feet when i stand up--CHECK!
-walking up steps--CHECK!
-being able to kneel down and get back up--CHECK!
-seeing my knuckles--CHECK!
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