nightrose68

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Second day in the hospital and barring any changes going home tomorrow. I came through surgery with no complications. I miss my PCA, which was stopped this morning; the Percocet does not work as well as the dilauded that was in the PCA. So the pain is a bit more today. Yet, still not anywhere near what I was expecting. All the nurses have been great, supportive, caring, and helpful. I have been a very good patient, out of bed after returning from the recovery room within an hour. Had a horrible sore throat due to having two tubes down it (the ET tube and the endoscope) but that is easing now that I started up liquids. This morning I must have stared at my first liquids for at least 10 minutes I was so scared it would make me vomit, but has been going down without a problem. So the rest of the day went something like sip, burp, walk, rest, and repeat.

Something I need to continue to process and deal with. Forgive, learn and and move ahead. Belo is a copy of my response to a post asking how old people were when they began to be "fat"

I know I hate to think about a lot of my childhood, mostly due to self esteem and weight issues. I was nine months old when my brother the premie was born and comparatively I was the huge baby next to this tiny little thing. Even though I was normal for my age I think my family always saw me as large from then on. 

Then when I was seven my family moved to a new town and as the new kid (one who was shy and already wore glassess) I underwent very severe teasing and bullying. I found it difficult to make friends, so food became a very close comforting substitute. I learned to love to read (a not very physical activity) and was never very co-ordinated as far as any sports went. A chubby child I then went into puberty and at age fourteen I weighed 180 lbs. I went from childrens sizes (always the huskys) right to Womens. It is very had when as a teen all you want to do is fit iin, you wear glassess, your fat, and you can't evn dress like the other kids. From puberty on my family had me on one diet or another. Sometimes I would lose weight for a while, but it all came back and became a viscous cycle, but now at age 39 I am taking control.

I actually did not mean to write all this, but it just came flowing out. I truly belive that I needed to look back at that sad little fat girl so now as I begin my journey on Monday I can tell her good-bye. Thank you Jen for such a thought provoking question.

Had my final pre-op class yesterday, which lasted for four hours. The surgery is so close that now it is all I can think about. The class was terrific met with the NUT, then the NP, and then Dr Bertha. The class setting really allowed a tremendous sharing of information between us all. I even met a woman having her surgery at my hospital on the same day. Who knows maybe we will be roomies. I learned a lot I did not know about the actual hospital stay (2 days not 1) and the fact I will have a drain post-op are things I could do without. However on the plus side Dr Bertha uses PCA which is great, as I thought I would be at the nurses mercy for pain meds, and as a nurse myself I know how busy they are. I do not like the NUT there and am glad I met with another group. I thought she was very condescending when questions were asked, but my husband said it was more likely hormones (she was at least 6 months pregnant). The NP Linda was terrific; she really knows her stuff, was thorough, and definitely welcomed questions answering them honestly and completely. Hopefully I won't have any post-op issues, but feel better knowing I can call her anytime. No 2 week pre-op liquid diet WOOHOO! Only clear liquids the day before then nothing to eat after midnight. That is something I can handle. Time is moving fast and Monday will be here before I know it. Time to enter into a new begining....... 

Another Thanksgiving come and gone. Really nice day with my family the only trouble was with my DH. I was supposed to be cooking the entire dinner as he is working 11pm-7am this week. What do you know, but all morning I heard "Well I do it this way" or "You are doing it wrong". I know he usually does most of the cooking, but really I am not an idiot and do know how to cook myself. I couldn't wait for him to go to bed! Then when he woke up literally he took over. Urgh, oh well I got to sit back and relax.

On another note 0nly 10 days to go for surgery. I got a call from the hospital on Tuesday for pre-registration, and on the 28th I have my final pre-op appointment at Dr Bertha's office. It is becoming more real every day. I am scared! What to be scared of? I have only been working for this all year! 
I am scared of :
1. Anesthsia
2. Pain
3. Dying
4. Complications
5. Failure

What to look forward to:
1. No more BP pills
2. Less to no reflux
3. Being able to climb a flight of stairs
4. Being able to breath
5. Getting rid of my c-pap
6. No more urinary Incontinence
7. Less back and hip pain (really hoping it goes completely)
8. Being able to play with my neice and nephews
9. Being able to get on the rides at amusement parks
10. Flying comfortably (with no seatbelt extender)
11. Putting my socks and shoes on easily
12. Easier hygiene rituals
13. No more Women's section in department stores
14. Not hating the mirror
15. Living a longer healthier life!!!!

I HAVE A DATE!!!!! Finaly after all the hassel NJ BCBS had to give apporval. Got my authorization number and surgery date for December 3, 2007. Now am very excited and scared all at once. Only 26 days away.

Well saw the new surgeon last week. Dr Bertha was very well spoken, knowledgeable, and appeared concerned and caring. I have met most of the precert requirements except for some new blood work. I could possibly have surgery by November 26th. 

I had the blood work done yesterday and called the insurance specialist at the surgeon's office today who of course is getting the run around from Horizon. Will it never end.  Due to a trip scheduled the end of December if I don't have surgery by 11/26 it will have to wait til after the 1st of the year. I guess I have waited this long but the ups and downs are discouraging as well as soooooo frustrating!!!!

I can't believe it.............. I am still in shock.................  I had almost lost hope of approval but I recieved word today that my HR department has overturned the denials by my insurance comapny and surgery is approved!!!!! Yeah!


To BCBS I say !

Ninja Battle Cry!
Who is that, rampaging across the desert! It is Nightrose68, hands clutching a vorpal blade! And with a mighty grunt, her voice cometh:

 

"This one's for you, mom! I shall traumatize the entire planet!!"

 

  
My MySpace URL: myspace.com/nightrose68

Still waiting to hear from my employers appeals committee. As a healthcare worker I am trying to do as I educate others by taking control of my health. The longer this goes on the more disheartened I become.  This was not a decision I came to lightly or by chance, but it appears in addressing a health issue that is seriously impacting the quality and perhaps the quantity of my life I run into nothing but roadblocks.