Monique H.

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

Well I'm down to 125. Doc wants me to gain and so do I. I was back up to 130 from 127 went I went to see doc. Now I'm at 125. Man I'm going crazy. Who would have ever thought? Don't have much time to post now just wanted to give update.

Well you read it right. I am now 140 pounds which is 5 pounds less than what my dream goal was. I'm not trying at all to lose weight. I'm just losing. I wonder where my body is going to stop. Too bad I've been dealing with depression and not able to really enjoy this new life that I've been given.

Well I did it. I'm finally normal, when it comes to a bmi that is. My bmi is now 24.4. Since the last time I posted I went to have all of my procedures done. I had the lbl, thigh lift, anchor cut tummy tuck, bl/ba, and arm lift. When I went to have them done I weighed 173. The doctor removed 6.5lbs of extra skin which takes me down to 166.5. This morning I weighed in at 149. That is 17.5 pounds less than when the skin was removed. For some reason I keep losing weight. Don't get me wrong losing weight is a good thing, but it makes me wonder why am I losing this much weight so fast. I had stopped losing weight from surgery and now I lose 17.5 pounds in just a little over a month. I didn't lose like that at all from having my revision. Well when I first had my revision I said that I wanted to get to 145. Since my weight loss was pretty slow and in some months nonexistent  I changed my goal to 165. I was really getting depressed and thought that if I get to 185 I think I'll be okay. Who would have thought that I would end up being 4 pounds away from my original goal weight? It really is a reality for me now. Well I just thought I'd do a quick update since it has been so long. I hope my journey is encouraging to someone.

I know that I was so excited to have gotten my panniculectomy and breast lift approved, but I've decided to move into another direction. The surgeon was suggesting that I have other things with it like with the breast lift he thought I needed an augmentation because I would be left with basically nothing there. He thought with the panniculectomy that I would need an anchor tummy tuck as well. This was starting to cost me a great deal of money and it didn't even address my arms, thighs or any part of my back. Well that started me to thinking. I had seen work on someone I knew who went to the same DS doctor and her work look great. She told me who did it and invited me to check out a page or board or whatever you want to call it specifically for this surgeon. Anyway after reading about everyone's results and seeing his before and after pics I've decided to go with this surgeon. Mind you he is in Mexico. I've been getting a lot of mixed feelings about me going to Mexico, but after seeing his work first hand and doing a little research myself I believe this is the way to go. I won't even mention the money I'm going to save. Well my surgery date is December 13th two days after my birthday! I'd appreciate all of the prayers and well wishes I can get. Believe me if I like the results you will see all kinds of before and afters posted everywhere of me :).

Yay me!!! Called the surgeons office today and was informed that the requested panniculectomy and breast lift were approved by my insurance today! I had been a little discouraged because my weight was back up to 174 but I had told myself that if I didn't lose anymore I would be satisfied. Now I'm even more satisfied :) I wished we would have requested everything that I wanted done like my thighs, back, and arms; but the surgeon wouldn't have done it all at once anyway. I'm so so happy. My authorization is only good until 12-26-2011 so I have until then to come up with the money needed for the rest of the stuff I want to have done at the same time. Everyone please say a prayer for me. I really want this to work out.

That I would be at this weight. 169 was the reading this morning and I love it. I'm four pounds away from my first goal weight! This has been a real roller coaster ride with so many ups and downs but my DS revision is working slowly but surely.

I'm feeling really discouraged lately. I keep going from 176-180 but never lower than that. I tell myself I should be happy here, but looking at myself in photos I know I won't be. I'm tired of the fluctuations and I'm tired of using the bathroom a lot lately.  I know that last part might me tmi. When I'm at 180 I'm 15 pounds away from my adjusted goal, but 35 away from my original goal. I'm almost 10 months out and feel like the weight loss has stopped for me once again. This is a really horrible feeling. I'm going to go back and read through some of my other entries to see if that cheers me up, but as of right now I am oh so discouraged!

I know I've only dropped a few pounds since the last time I wrote something on here, but for me to be at 176 when I talked about just shooting for 175 is just great! My goal now is to just keep losing until my body is ready to quit. Since I first started my weight loss journey I have lost 219 pounds!!! That's right you heard me 219! I can't believe God has blessed me with this miracle! To think if I had of stopped fighting for the DS I would be at or above 244 pounds right now. Probably above it. I've already had my sister take pictures of me to send to a plastic surgeon, but can't find the cord to connect it to my laptop to download them. I want to see how much it is going to cost me to complete this process. I absolutely positively know that I have over 10 pounds of excess skin. Even if I just got that off it would be a blessing. I'm still being told that I look like skin and bones with my clothes off and I don't mind that one bit. I'm just so happy I could shout it from the roof top as they say. I know that I'm rambling and all over the place, but I just love to put my updates on here so maybe if I'm feeling down about my weight loss of lack of, I can read these and feel encouraged. Or better yet maybe someone else will come along and read them and be encouraged in their journey. Well until next time people...

Gaunt - extremely thin and bony; haggard and drawn, as from great hunger, weariness, or torture; emaciated.

Who me? Why thank you :)! Okay now I don't want to look sickly but for someone to say I look extremely thin or bony I LOVE IT.  My mother walked in my room while I was getting dressed (had on only panties) and she said you are really thin. A couple of days later she's talking to me and sounding really worried saying that I look really skinny to the point of looking gaunt. I did inform her that I wanted to get to my surgeons goal of 155 and she said well do what you want, don't listen to a fat person. I am kind of worried though because I've seen one of my friends who has just looked so sick when she lost all of her weight and it was not pretty. I'm wondering should I stop here. I know plastics will definitely take more weight off because my panni feels like it weighs a lot. Maybe I'll just shoot for 175 which is 6 pounds away after losing 4 pounds of the 5 that I went back up.

On another note I went to Walmart yesterday and saw sweat jackets. It's raining here so the one I had draped around me was a 2x. I decide to try on a smaller one. I was looking for a 1x in the dark gray, but since they didn't have it decided to try on a large. I know you all know what comes next. Yep! It fit! Being able to wear smaller clothes makes me look smaller. I also wore my first size 14 dress over the weekend. It felt so great! I don't remember what size dress I used to wear, but I know it was in the 30's and I think I used to wear a 36 in pants. Now I'm in a 14 or 16 depending on the maker. I'm less than half the woman I used to be. I've gone from 395 pounds (that I know) to 180. That is 215 pounds lost and never to be found again!!!!!  

Yes I'm admitting it. I've had like a week of crappy eating. I don't know if it is because I hit 180 and starting feeling a little comfortable or if it is because my mom moved in with me and I'm having to cook for her as well, but I've let carbs get out of control. I felt like I was doing so well too and now I'm kicking myself. Well this is a part of my accountability. I've got to get things back in gear and get these few pounds off that I've gone up this week (now up to 185). I know my weight fluctuates, but I can't help but blame the way I've been eating. I don't want it to become a habit so I'm getting it together now!