nomorejigglybits
Change and what it brings...
Aug 17, 2009
I have always been afraid of change. Well...maybe afraid is the wrong word. I dislike change. I am one of those girls that likes everything planned out and once I get used to something, I like to stay the course. Now, don't get me wrong...I know that some change is good. Seasons change. Styles change. Trends change. That's not what I have a problem with...it's more of a change in my routine I tend to balk at and frown upon. As with most mothers, my day runs like a well greased wheel. Everyday has it's own routine and everyone has their own schedule. And, if something goes wrong, it's like a domino effect and your day ends up being a jumbled mess. I always talk of rolling with the punches when it comes to my lapband and I got to thinking that rolling with punches in everyday life might bring me the same success as it has with the band.I am an advocate on research something until you get computer blindness and your fingers cramp up. This goes for anything from purchases to school projects. So, you can imagine that once I decided on WLS I spent three solid months doing laborious research on what would work best for me and my family. When the lapband was decide for me (long story) due to medical reasons, I threw myself to even more research until I was comfortable with the choice. I have a HUGE three ring binder with ideas, recipes, advice, and notes from the doctor. This is my WLS Bible. I reference it whenever I have a pressing question...like what medicine to take when I have a cold, ect ect. All my research has accumulated in this binder and I would be lost without out it. Or so I thought...
My husband cleaned the kitchen cabinets (audible gasp from all the ladies) one weekend while I was at work and put it in the garage. Of course, he didn't tell me where he put it and I tore the house apart looking for it and couldn't find it for weeks. But..I survived. I rolled with it. And..I was successful. The old, 294 pound Amanda would have used the missing binder as an excuse to cheat or binge, or go out to eat something bad, but the new 219 pound Amanda was just fine. I am changing one of the worst habits and personal flaws that I have had all my life..I am being flexible. I used this as a starting point to also change some other things in my life. I am distancing myself for negative people, I am trying new things, I am putting myself "out" there in places I would never before have. I changed my exercise routine to incorporate dancing. I changed my work schedule. I changed my attitude towards life in general. I am coming to the conclusion that I like change and even though it's a bit scary, it's a new adventure that I know I would not have taken if I hadn't gotten the lapband. I thought by getting the band all that would change would be my appearance and health. I was so wrong. It has changed so much more than that. In fact, I think I have changed more on the inside than on the outside. The way I look at situations and other people is totally different. I feel different too. I feel more..if you can understand that. I feel deeper, harder, and longer. I think the reason I was so against change before this that I was afraid I wouldn't be able to do something difference because of my weight. Or that I would be rejected.
I hope change brings me more and more opportunities to become a better person. To be more flexible and forthcoming. I already feel I have become a better wife, mother, and friend because I care more about myself. Hopefully, like many things in nature, I will change into something incredible and at the end of this journey I will have found something in myself that I will be proud of..not just because of the weight loss, but because I will have become something better.
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About Me
Grand Prairie, TX
Location
47.3
BMI
Surgery
04/23/2009
Surgery Date
Nov 20, 2008
Member Since
