PamLane
I’m 5’8” tall, forty-six years old and I’ve been heavy all of my life. I have a history of fraternal diabetes in my family. My size has bothered me since my high school years when I began taking diet pills and starvation dieting. I would literally exist on a canned Fresca soft drink and nibble on a broiled, skinless, chicken breast for supper. The same chicken breast would last for almost a week before I would decide to toss it and start over. I can remember passing out from a lack of food at one point in the process. I went from 185 pounds to 140 in time for my 1974 High School graduation.
My weight crept back up into the 180’s, during college, and I began earnest efforts to get my hands on whatever I could get a hold of to keep my weight down – weight loss clinics, injections with pregnant women’s urine, and diet pills brought in from Mexico. In 1979, I had a catastrophic car accident in which I broke my pelvis, left knee, right ankle, fractured ribs, collapsed lungs, suffered liver and colon damage, and lacerations on my face, ear, and left arm. During the course of my hospital stay my weight fell to 140 pounds, and yet my orthopedic surgeon told me at that time that my bones could not sustain a weight over 125 pounds. I was even more conscientious about my weight after that but I could not maintain a weight below 150 pounds. I was able to keep my weight to about 165 pounds until the time that I had my daughter in 1990. I ballooned up to 185 when I had her but I did manage to lose the baby weight that I gained when I was pregnant. But over the next two years I began to gain weight; it was as though no matter what I tried I couldn’t lose the weight or if I did lose it would come back right after I tried to have some semblance of a normal eating pattern.
In 2002 I weighed 205 pounds and was diagnosed with Hepatitis C; through the combination drug treatment of Interferon and Ribaviron and the feelings of nausea associated with the treatment program I was able to lose down to 185 pounds. The Gastroenterologist again told me, that I needed to keep my weight under control as being overweight contributed to a “fatty liver” and that could cause liver problems in later life. But after completing the Hepatitis C treatment my weight began to creep back up to 205 and past that to my present weight of 240 pounds. At this time I’m suffering from incontinence, gallstones, shortness of breath, back pain, swollen ankles, a bloated abdomen, and muscular fatigue. I have no energy and am unable to perform normal housekeeping duties without taking a break. Until the last year I rarely took any type of medication on a routine basis. I’m currently taking daily does of the anti-depressant Effexor (150 mg), Singulair (10 mg), Protonix (for heartburn), Detrol LA (4mg) and multiple daily doses of Naproxen (500 mg) and Skelaxin (800 mgs) to minimize the pain in my back.
I have been on one diet or another since my teens and I’ve tried, Weight Watchers, Slim Fast, Healthy Choice, over the counter diet aides, prescription drugs (Phentermine, Xenical, Phen/Phen), the cabbage diet, the stewardess diet, calorie counting, gym visits, and team competitions to lose weight. When I have been successful at weight loss it creeps back on after a period of time and I gain even more weight than I lost. I’ve also had a problem with depression and at times my family physician would prescribe anti-depressants in the hope that they would help with weight loss (Prozac, Wellbutrin, Flexor) as well as the depression.
At this point, I am exasperated and feel that there is no hope in my losing the 100 pounds that I need to lose in order to have some semblance of an active life. I used to enjoy swimming, walking, and socializing with others. Right now I have trouble getting up from a sitting position and can see that I am bigger than most of the chairs that are provided for use by the normal office worker. At this weight I am too embarrassed to put on a swimsuit for swimming much less try to balance myself on a bicycle. I am suffering from depression and I don’t enjoy meeting new people as I feel like they are saying “My she has such a pretty face if only she would lose some weight,” and I’ve taken to making comments about my weight to friends that I haven’t seen over the past few years so that they won’t feel embarrassed if they mention it.
The Roux N Y procedure is not something that I take lightly; without the surgery I seriously doubt that I will live to see my youngest child through college. I feel that any chance of survival is based on losing my excess weight so that I can make the necessary lifestyle changes to exercise, enjoy my life, be healthier, and live long enough to retire from my job.
