MY "LOOSING" BATTLE

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Nov 07, 2008

I felt like I needed to do something with my energy besides eat, so I started a blog about my WLS and added a lot of general information on the subject. (Yes, I am disorganized and needed one place to keep everything..Enjoy!)

http://madamscarlet.blogspot.com/

Cute!

Lots of Stuff:

There is not much to say that I’m sure you haven’t already heard! I have fought with my weight my entire life. Just like most, I have tried and succeed, tried and failed, tried and given up many times. The decision to have Weight Loss Surgery has not been an easy one for me, but it is my personal best option. I do not see it as a quick fix, but as a tool to help me STAY on the path to being healthy. I need a tool that will help keep me from having the yo-yo effect that I have had since I was a little girl. I know that some people don’t agree with WLS, and I am Ok with that. Just like everything else, WLS is a personal choice. I am very fortunate to have the support of my family and friends. Even though some of them have shown concern because they know the risks involved, and don’t want to loose me. But the fact is, they are loosing me now….just a lot slower. They are also aware of the mental challenges that I will have to overcome once surgery takes place. Eating is my security blanket. Period. I don’t know if this is a disease or not (That’s for the professionals to decide) but for me, it’s definitely a problem! I eat when I am bored, sad, mad, and happy. I have never really had low self-esteem or low self confidence. I find myself attractive and I have many close and wonderful friends……. and my family is amazing. I'm being serious when I say that I didn't know I was fat until someone told me I was! LOL I'm not overly (key word OVERLY) sensitive about my weight, and I do NOT see myself as a failure because of this problem. But I do have a problem, and thank GOD there are ways to help correct it…… because I sure can't seem to do this on my own!! I don't seem to suffer from depression because of this problem, but I don't know what it is like to feel good, and be able to keep up with people my own age or younger! My Daughter is 5, and she is the most amazing little person! It took me 10 years to get her (she is adopted) and I want to be around and ACTIVE to see her grow old. My husband is wonderful as well, and he accepts me as I am now, and I appreciate him for that. However, while running the risk of sounding rude, this is not about him, my family, my daughter or anyone else. This is about me, my problem, my inner demons and angels, and about becoming the healthy woman I know I can be. And I am SO thankful for having this opportunity.