Wow, long time...disappointed.

Nov 17, 2014

It's been quite a while since I posted, and I thought it was time to do an update. 

I have been really struggling with my weight. I gained back about 12 lbs, but I have been yo-yo-ing over that between 209 and 214. I gain and lose the same weight constantly. I am NOT on track at all. I feel so hungry so often. I know I am emotionally eating, because I have a lot of things going on in my life right now, one thing being a lot of upset with my husband, and that makes other stressors hard to deal with. See, I know what I'm doing, but I can't seem to stop myself. I guess I have lost a lot of my willpower and desire to get lighter. 

I hit 202, down 242 lbs, and just got this thought in my head "I have come so far...I don't need to push myself now". I know that is somewhere deep in my brain, just rolling around in there. I was 211 last week at my Weight Watchers weigh-in, and I was so happy with that. That sucks, that I was happy with 211! 

I also have heard nothing from my plastic surgeon. I have called him three or four times, only to have the office not return my calls. I have to assume I was denied, even though I haven't heard anything from my insurance either, they haven't sent me a letter about it. I will call him again of course. I have a little hope that maybe things just haven't been fully worked on, and it could still come through. I really need that to happen soon though, I won't have another break from school where it could be done until next year around this time!

Wow, what a downer blog post. Sorry guys, I feel like a failure. I still hope to get back on track, and to be able to say, "I CAN DO IT!" 

PS: I actually do have some positive things, one is I was able to go off all my BP medication, down to 1 pill for my diabetes (A1C is 5.4), off my cholesterol pill, and I'm graduating in three weeks from college..and I got into the grad program at the same school so I will also be going for a masters degree.  

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