Why Am I So Different?

Mar 06, 2011

I read the posts mostly on the RNY Forum and I try very hard to empathize, but for the life of me I'm sorry, but I just don't seem to feel the same way the majority of the post-ops who write in do.  I think partly this is because I had really great pre-op classes on what I could and couldn't have after my surgery.  I was also told that those of us who were older were only going to get one chance at this and if we messed it up...well...good luck getting another surgeon and funding to get a revision.

Mentally, I reconciled the fact that I was "closing the door" on one chapter of my life, and opening the door on a new one.  In closing the door on the old chapter that meant I wasn't going to allow myself to be tempted by things I know I shouldn't eat.  That also meant no cheating...not even a little bit, because I didn't need that in my life.

It's a good thing I did because I ended up with this pancreatic complication that actually caused me to lose too much weight and had I eaten anything with too much sugar or high in carbohydrates I would have lost even more weight.  The nature of my diagnosis of NESIDIOBLASTOSIS (islet cell tumors of the pancreas) means that those little islet cell tumors produce more insulin than my body needs WHEN I EAT.  If I don't eat at all, my blood sugar remains stable.  I starve to death and I'm really hungry, but my blood sugar stays in the good range.  Go figure.  But the Nesidioblastosis is a complication as a direct result of my RNY Gastric Bypass Surgery.  (See New England Journal of Medicine:  Nesidioblastosis and Gastric Bypass:  Too Much of A Good Thing?)

I have been to (new) doctors and when they look at my chart and see the notation that I am post op (2003) RNY Gastric Bypass -- I've often been told that these doctors have a dozen or so patients that are post-ops...and they don't look like me...I guess meaning that they haven't lost all of their weight much less are they underweight.

I do eat and alot.  Some days it seems like that's all I do.  I maintain the watch over the content of what I eat and as I said in an earlier post - protein will drive my blood sugar straight down - so I have to have some complex carbohydrates.  I cannot eat anything I want, I still will get sick if I eat too fast or if I eat out and am not aware of the contents in a certain dish,. 

There's a young man (mid 20's) who comes out to where my husband and I play music and he's had the same procedure I have had and he still eats at -- get this -- McDonald's.  I asked him how in the heck he could tolerate it, I would think it would make him sick as a dog.  He said he wished he couldn't eat there, but he can.  Now that's my question.  We both had the same surgery.  WHY AM I SO DIFFERENT?  Not that I want to eat at McDonald's again, but my diet is SO restricted and if I'm not careful in a month I can drop 20 pounds and I end up with a home health nurse and a PICC line and being fed TPN  which is really nasty to even look at, and this other guy has not lost all of his weight and eats at McDonald's.  So somebody please explain this to me, because I don't understand it.

My whole goal in this blog is to just let you all know what my life is like now.  Sometimes these surgeries do go wrong and it's not the surgeon's fault.  You have to be prepared though and ask yourself if you can go through all that I have.  It's hard enough to go through the surgery, the weight loss, the adjustment to a new life and new st;yle of eating, and the vitamin regimen; then add to it that you have to have MAJOR surgery to have most of your pancreas and spleen removed and you're having to check your blood sugars eight (8) times a day and take injections to boost your low blood sugar four (4) times a day.  

And now my sugars are running too low and the  surgeon is recommending the remaining third of my pancreas be removed.  OH MY GOSH...the first time I thought I was gonna die...it hurt so bad...they broke my ribs to get to my pancreas and the incision is 3-4 times what RNY incision was and there were about 60 staples in the incision.  I dread having to have that surgery again.  Plus the fact that once all of my pancreas if gone my body will no longer produce ANY insulin and I will be mixing several types of insulin and that's scary. 

I can remember thinking when I first got home after surgery -- trying to stick to a schedule. HA!  That was a cakewalk then.  Try doing what I have to do now!  This shot and a bunch of pills have to be taken 1/2 hour before I eat and when your blood sugar has dropped to low...man does that suck. 

That's all I can tell you for now, anything else I can think of - I'll let you know, but for those of you considering this surgery, please look at the risks and be sure and ask your surgeon about this complication because it is j

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