pippinsgrl
Stagnant
Feb 18, 2008
Hi,
Well things have been moving really slow for awhile. I need to exercise to get things moving. I don't feel like I eat too much, but my weight stays the same. neither really gaining or losing. I'm sad today.
Well things have been moving really slow for awhile. I need to exercise to get things moving. I don't feel like I eat too much, but my weight stays the same. neither really gaining or losing. I'm sad today.
Been a long time since I last posted . . . anybody out there?
Jan 18, 2008
Well, it's been quite a while since I posted and a lot has happened. First, I am having some concerns about my doctor's office and their concern about my weight loss, or lack thereof.
My weight loss has been quite slow. Right now I am down about 25lbs since surgery. I have had a few visits with my doctor's office since my last fill and they did not go very well. After my last fill in October, I realized that I am eating too fast and was not chewing enough. I was trying to force in food and I think testing the limits of my band. I went to see my MD in early December and had a strange and disconcerting discussion with his (yet another new) nurse. I was told that I should be eating the same amount of food as a toddler. That came as a shock to me b/c that was the first I time I had heard this reference. I was lectured about the slowness of my weight loss. It was a disheartening visit. I spoke with my therapist and realized it was time to mentally regroup and figure out what the problem was. Sad to say, my satisfaction with weight maintenance and slow loss was only the first part of my band journey. To lose weight, I now realize that I have to diet (my choice of word). Sounds pretty simple right? I thought that I would never diet again, that my tool would be able to do more work for me and that my food obsession would be different.
Now I am mentally prepared to take the next step. I know that I can eat what I want (except rice,bread,pasta, you know...hehe) and maintain my weight. This is huge for me, I do not obsess over my weight like I used to, BUT I want to lose right now, so I have to step up to my next phase which will focus on cutting back MORE and losing weight.
OK, I am mentally getting there. It is just taking me a little longer than some, but I have had this eating issue for a loooong time.
Anyhoo, I went in a few weeks ago, ready for a new fill for the new year. I was down to 5cc in my band and the doctor decided to give me .5cc fill. OK, great, but before this happened, I talked with the nurse and explained my feelings of discouragement with their approach to my weight loss. What I spoke of went something like this:
I am 40 yrs old, a health professional, and not stupid. Your approach to my weight loss is not working. I feel like I am just getting lectured. etc.etc. Things were somewhat tense, but all was spoken about in a controlled way. We discussed that the issues I was having were really my own, and that I felt that I still needed to work with my therapist. The nurse went out to report to my surgeon and they both came in. My surgeon sat down with me and everything felt really fake. He told me that we would try this ONE MORE TIME. What does that mean? Is he going to fire me if I don't lose weight faster? Whose journey is this anyway? I decided to just be quiet and get my fill. I forgot to mention that after my last appointment my surgeon suggested I consider gastric bypass. I feel a complete disconnect with these people. Am I just a number and if I don't boost their numbers then I will be dismissed? It is inexplicable to me.
The bright side is that my mental restart has been working and the weight is doing good. My fill is small, but adequate. I am no longer sliming or barfing like I was and I am prepared to diet. I knew the band was a tool, but I didn't truly understand how to use that tool. I thought it would be more like the bypass where the tool controlled you. I am excited for the time to pass because I think that I can really lose more weight before spring.
Thanks for reading.
Rhonda
My weight loss has been quite slow. Right now I am down about 25lbs since surgery. I have had a few visits with my doctor's office since my last fill and they did not go very well. After my last fill in October, I realized that I am eating too fast and was not chewing enough. I was trying to force in food and I think testing the limits of my band. I went to see my MD in early December and had a strange and disconcerting discussion with his (yet another new) nurse. I was told that I should be eating the same amount of food as a toddler. That came as a shock to me b/c that was the first I time I had heard this reference. I was lectured about the slowness of my weight loss. It was a disheartening visit. I spoke with my therapist and realized it was time to mentally regroup and figure out what the problem was. Sad to say, my satisfaction with weight maintenance and slow loss was only the first part of my band journey. To lose weight, I now realize that I have to diet (my choice of word). Sounds pretty simple right? I thought that I would never diet again, that my tool would be able to do more work for me and that my food obsession would be different.
Now I am mentally prepared to take the next step. I know that I can eat what I want (except rice,bread,pasta, you know...hehe) and maintain my weight. This is huge for me, I do not obsess over my weight like I used to, BUT I want to lose right now, so I have to step up to my next phase which will focus on cutting back MORE and losing weight.
OK, I am mentally getting there. It is just taking me a little longer than some, but I have had this eating issue for a loooong time.
Anyhoo, I went in a few weeks ago, ready for a new fill for the new year. I was down to 5cc in my band and the doctor decided to give me .5cc fill. OK, great, but before this happened, I talked with the nurse and explained my feelings of discouragement with their approach to my weight loss. What I spoke of went something like this:
I am 40 yrs old, a health professional, and not stupid. Your approach to my weight loss is not working. I feel like I am just getting lectured. etc.etc. Things were somewhat tense, but all was spoken about in a controlled way. We discussed that the issues I was having were really my own, and that I felt that I still needed to work with my therapist. The nurse went out to report to my surgeon and they both came in. My surgeon sat down with me and everything felt really fake. He told me that we would try this ONE MORE TIME. What does that mean? Is he going to fire me if I don't lose weight faster? Whose journey is this anyway? I decided to just be quiet and get my fill. I forgot to mention that after my last appointment my surgeon suggested I consider gastric bypass. I feel a complete disconnect with these people. Am I just a number and if I don't boost their numbers then I will be dismissed? It is inexplicable to me.
The bright side is that my mental restart has been working and the weight is doing good. My fill is small, but adequate. I am no longer sliming or barfing like I was and I am prepared to diet. I knew the band was a tool, but I didn't truly understand how to use that tool. I thought it would be more like the bypass where the tool controlled you. I am excited for the time to pass because I think that I can really lose more weight before spring.
Thanks for reading.
Rhonda
Third Fill - Oh my gosh I got RESTRICTION!!!!!
Oct 24, 2007
Had my third fill 10/15, another 2cc (total of 6cc). OMG, Now I have some serious restriction. Quite possibly, I am a little too full, but I am going to stick it out until my next appointment a couple of weeks away. I am becoming accustomed to a new way of eating, this took about a week. I am super tight in the a.m. which slowly loosens up later in the day. I have had a few slime and PB episodes, but nothing completely revolting.
More later -
Rhonda
More later -
Rhonda
Second fill - getting closer
Oct 08, 2007
I had my second fill about 10 days ago; another 2cc. I have more restriction, but am not at any type of "sweet spot" yet. I go in for another fill on this Friday.
I find that I am testing my band and pushing the limit sometimes. I suppose this is normal for me, I always want to see what the limit is. I am concerned that I will begin going back to my old eating habits and am getting a little frustrated, but logically I know I am getting closer to having the band work for me the way it is supposed to. Sometimes it seems like I did this for nothing, but that is negative thoughts coming through. I imagine that after another fill or two, I will have adequate restriction and then bandster hell will be over and the weight loss can begin.
Sometimes, when I am eating dinner, I get that full feeling or the hiccups, or chest pain, and I realize that I am full or my band is telling me to slow down. I am now just beginning to adjust to what my band is telling me and really respecting that, in a showdown between me and my band, the band is gonna win.
I am now, just learning how to eat with the band because it is my reality, not just reading about it online or hearing it from my dietician.
In the meantime, I just keep chugging along.
Thanks for reading.
Rhonda
I find that I am testing my band and pushing the limit sometimes. I suppose this is normal for me, I always want to see what the limit is. I am concerned that I will begin going back to my old eating habits and am getting a little frustrated, but logically I know I am getting closer to having the band work for me the way it is supposed to. Sometimes it seems like I did this for nothing, but that is negative thoughts coming through. I imagine that after another fill or two, I will have adequate restriction and then bandster hell will be over and the weight loss can begin.
Sometimes, when I am eating dinner, I get that full feeling or the hiccups, or chest pain, and I realize that I am full or my band is telling me to slow down. I am now just beginning to adjust to what my band is telling me and really respecting that, in a showdown between me and my band, the band is gonna win.
I am now, just learning how to eat with the band because it is my reality, not just reading about it online or hearing it from my dietician. In the meantime, I just keep chugging along.
Thanks for reading.
Rhonda
First Fill
Sep 15, 2007
I had my first fill yesterday. So far things feel fine-the doc told me that I have a 10cc band and that we put 2cc in. I will return in 2 weeks for another 1cc and do that again in another 2 weeks. I don't notice any severe restriction, but I am full faster and it the feeling lasts longer.
I could tell my surgeon was not happy that I have not lost weight since surgery. I was not disappointed. I feel that I had surgery to live a normal life (i.e. not controlled by food). I ate what I wanted and maintained my weight. That being said, I am ready for restriction so that my weight loss can begin.
I haven't really been exercising b/c I am feeling very tired. I have had a lot of stress at work and when I get home I crash out. I have a routine MD appt. coming up and I may have some labs drawn to make sure everything is looking alright.
I could tell my surgeon was not happy that I have not lost weight since surgery. I was not disappointed. I feel that I had surgery to live a normal life (i.e. not controlled by food). I ate what I wanted and maintained my weight. That being said, I am ready for restriction so that my weight loss can begin.
I haven't really been exercising b/c I am feeling very tired. I have had a lot of stress at work and when I get home I crash out. I have a routine MD appt. coming up and I may have some labs drawn to make sure everything is looking alright.
2 Weeks Out and Back to Work
Aug 07, 2007
I returned to work today and am I POOPED OUT. It is definitely going to take a few days for me to get back in "working condition". I had a 4 hour case this morning where I stood the entire time and my knees and feet were killing me. Thank god I wore my support stockings. Most of my co-workers were very understanding and helped me out turning my exam room over for me. I was so grateful. I notice that I cannot eat as much as I used to and get full faster. I am having a hard time with the protein shakes b/c they taste pretty crappy. I have some that I can choke down, mainly Muscle Milk Lite - chocolate/mint flavor. I need to food journal, but I have never been very good at it. It seems like work to me. I have lost 8 lbs. in 2 weeks and I am happy with that. Right now I am in the one day at a time mode. Slow and easy and will still win the race, just like the turtle (even though my personality is the hare). Thanks for reading.
Rhonda
Most of my co-workers were very understanding and helped me out turning my exam room over for me. I was so grateful. I notice that I cannot eat as much as I used to and get full faster. I am having a hard time with the protein shakes b/c they taste pretty crappy. I have some that I can choke down, mainly Muscle Milk Lite - chocolate/mint flavor. I need to food journal, but I have never been very good at it. It seems like work to me. I have lost 8 lbs. in 2 weeks and I am happy with that. Right now I am in the one day at a time mode. Slow and easy and will still win the race, just like the turtle (even though my personality is the hare). Thanks for reading.Rhonda
Date of first fill
Aug 03, 2007
Well, I am scheduled for my first fill on September 14th. I just met with my NUT and she feels that I should have it sooner; unfortunately, the surgeon is completely booked until that date. I am going to call each week and see if there are cancellations in his schedule.
I am progressing fast as far as my food. I am supposed to be on all liquids right now, but I have fit in a few mushies (i.e. cottage cheese, ricotta cheese). I am a little concerned that I may gain weight before my first fill and that would be very depressing.
Right now I cannot imagine what a fill will feel like considering that I feel pretty good right now and am not restricted. It almost feels like I haven't done anything. Essentially, I will be waiting for my first fill and hope I feel some restriction, but I don't have my hopes up considering that fellow banders have stated that it usually takes 4 or more to feel tight.
Ho hum, I guess I am just feeling sorry for myself. Too much time on my hands being off of work.
Rhonda
I am progressing fast as far as my food. I am supposed to be on all liquids right now, but I have fit in a few mushies (i.e. cottage cheese, ricotta cheese). I am a little concerned that I may gain weight before my first fill and that would be very depressing.
Right now I cannot imagine what a fill will feel like considering that I feel pretty good right now and am not restricted. It almost feels like I haven't done anything. Essentially, I will be waiting for my first fill and hope I feel some restriction, but I don't have my hopes up considering that fellow banders have stated that it usually takes 4 or more to feel tight.
Ho hum, I guess I am just feeling sorry for myself. Too much time on my hands being off of work.
Rhonda
1st MD appt. post surgery
Jul 30, 2007
I went and had my staples removed today. Some minor redness/pus at the staple sites. I have to take liquid antibiotic for 4 days w/a Diflucan kicker when finished.
I lost 12 lbs since my visit a month ago. I have lost 6 lbs. since my surgery a week ago. I am very happy with these results.
Rhonda
I lost 12 lbs since my visit a month ago. I have lost 6 lbs. since my surgery a week ago. I am very happy with these results.
Rhonda
5 days post
Jul 29, 2007
Well, 5 days out and feeling pretty good. I went out a couple times this weekend and did OK, but I was tired later.
My liquid diet is going good, but I really miss chewing something. I made a shake with fruit,yogurt, and milk. That was yummy. I also am eating some pizza sauce just for a different flavor. Popsicles are a definite mainstay. I am having a LOT of head hunger today. My stomach feels full, or something, lets say my stomach feels different, but my head wants the food.
It's so different to feel full and then I feel guilty b/c I must be eating too much. Then I realize that I always felt guilt with being full b/c I did always eat way too much. I cannot even begin to eat what I used to, but I am paranoid because I am not used to having this feeling of fullness. I know it sounds strange, but it makes me realize even more what my relationship with food is like; pleasure, guilt, anger, etc.
I have my first follow up appt. with my surgeon tomorrow. I have no idea what the scale is going to say. I think it is unreasonable for me to want to lose more weight b/c I was so empty the day of surgery. For some reason I have a lot of anxiety right now b/c I don't know how I will do with the band. I want to succeed, I will most likely succeed, but I am afraid that I will fail. I suppose this is why people call it bandster hell. So much is a stake and I feel so uncertain. Hopefully, I will feel better tomorrow.
Thanks for reading.
Rhonda
My liquid diet is going good, but I really miss chewing something. I made a shake with fruit,yogurt, and milk. That was yummy. I also am eating some pizza sauce just for a different flavor. Popsicles are a definite mainstay. I am having a LOT of head hunger today. My stomach feels full, or something, lets say my stomach feels different, but my head wants the food.
It's so different to feel full and then I feel guilty b/c I must be eating too much. Then I realize that I always felt guilt with being full b/c I did always eat way too much. I cannot even begin to eat what I used to, but I am paranoid because I am not used to having this feeling of fullness. I know it sounds strange, but it makes me realize even more what my relationship with food is like; pleasure, guilt, anger, etc.
I have my first follow up appt. with my surgeon tomorrow. I have no idea what the scale is going to say. I think it is unreasonable for me to want to lose more weight b/c I was so empty the day of surgery. For some reason I have a lot of anxiety right now b/c I don't know how I will do with the band. I want to succeed, I will most likely succeed, but I am afraid that I will fail. I suppose this is why people call it bandster hell. So much is a stake and I feel so uncertain. Hopefully, I will feel better tomorrow.
Thanks for reading.
Rhonda
3 Days Post
Jul 26, 2007
Hi -
I am feeling really good this morning. My staples/incisions do not hurt and a lot of the internal soreness is gone this morning. My stomach is still grumpy though!
I have been sticking to the liquid diet and found that my stomach is still irritated and too much in it hurts a little. Yesterday I ate too much soup and was a bit uncomfortable. I now understand that I must STOP EATING WHEN I FEEL FULL!!!
What is interesting is that when I left the hospital, my surgeon said I could eat whatever I want (within reason), but that included solid food. I could not imagine eating solid food right now b/c even water and soup feel a little funny. My Nut said she would speak to the surgeon b/c I should follow the liquid diet while I heal. I was in total agreement!! It's funny how doctors are so different regarding the pre/post requirements. Anyhoo, I am off to go grocery shopping today (with my dad as a chaperone). My first big excursion since my surgery.
Thanks for reading.
Rhonda
I am feeling really good this morning. My staples/incisions do not hurt and a lot of the internal soreness is gone this morning. My stomach is still grumpy though!
I have been sticking to the liquid diet and found that my stomach is still irritated and too much in it hurts a little. Yesterday I ate too much soup and was a bit uncomfortable. I now understand that I must STOP EATING WHEN I FEEL FULL!!!
What is interesting is that when I left the hospital, my surgeon said I could eat whatever I want (within reason), but that included solid food. I could not imagine eating solid food right now b/c even water and soup feel a little funny. My Nut said she would speak to the surgeon b/c I should follow the liquid diet while I heal. I was in total agreement!! It's funny how doctors are so different regarding the pre/post requirements. Anyhoo, I am off to go grocery shopping today (with my dad as a chaperone). My first big excursion since my surgery.
Thanks for reading.
Rhonda
About Me
Kalamazoo, MI
Location
53.7
BMI
Surgery
07/24/2007
Surgery Date
Jan 13, 2007
Member Since
