PlusSizeParisHilton
Starting A Journey
Aug 06, 2008
My name is Rachel. I am 21 years old. I am 5'6 and 366 lbs. I am on a journey to save my life. I never realized that I was actually this fat until recently when it has taken a toll on my life. Here are some things that affect me because I am morbidly obese:
* Airplanes - Have to purchase a 2nd Seat to ride on one.
* Restraunts - Usually can't fit into the booths and have to get a table or suffer
* Sleep Apnea - I have had this for awhile but I literally am too scared to go to bed if I don't have my cpap machine
* Walking - I usually can't walk to stand too long because my feet start to hurt and when I say hurt I mean it!
* Money/Clothes - I really dont know what size I am in clothes, I have stretched my jeans that were a size 30 and they are very tight...I bought a pair of size 32 capris but they get tight after I wash them. I have to stretch them out in order to fit in them. I usually can't find any cute clothes that fit me....shirts are sometimes easy to find but pants - none - I have 3 pairs of actual pants, the size 30 jeans, size 32 capris, black slacks (oh but the zipper is busted probably from me stretching them with my stomach - so i rarely wear them) I also have gaochos and stretch pants but I ususally don't wear those in public. Oh and fat clothes cost a lot!!! I usually have to wait till Fashion Bug has their buy 1 get 1 for a $1 sale to purchase clothes.
* Anxiety - I feel like every single person is staring at me saying something about me being obese or disguisting or something mean when I am out. I just get myself really down and dont make eye contact with anyone. It is really hard for me to meet new people also at this weight. I feel like I have to joke about my weight or say something about my weight because I feel like they are holding it in to say something.
* Personal Hygiene - Now I shower and brush my teeth and such every day. I am not a stinky person. I am bringing this up because it seems a WHOLE LOT HARDER to have to wash myself in the shower...I have to bend in awkward positions, I have come up with a routine though and so far it is working...but my belly seems to be the biggest thing that gets in my way. When I go to the bathrooms in public I have to make sure I go to the handicap bathroom so I can have enough room to position myself to wipe.
* Self-Image - this goes along with Anxiety, but I don't see myself as a beautiful person anymore. Since I have gotten to 366 I never take pictures of myself anymore, and if I do I usually end up erasing them because I just dont like the way they look.
Those are just some of the issues I have been having that I can think of right this minute due to my obesity. I would like to keep this blog running until I am to my goal weight of 145 and I would like to look back at this to just remind myself as to why I am doing it and why never to return to this hell.
I am just starting my process of getting approved for this surgery. I already went to a seminar on 07/24/2008. It was for Dr. Michael Snyder with Rose Medical Center. After reading all the great reviews about him and seeing how nice him and his staff were at the seminar, I have chosen him to be my surgeon.
With Aetna, I have to have 6 months of supervised diet and exercise. I go to the registered dietician at my primary care physician on 08/09/2008. I am hoping this is covered by my insurance, I have to call them tonight. If not then I will just go to my Doctor and have him weigh me every month, I dont know. I called Dr. Snyder's office and set up a consultation for 11/05/2008. I don't plan on having my surgery until March though. I just started my job in June (thank the lord they start insurance right away) but my training isn't done intil end of September..and starting at the end of October our busy period starts and it is really hard to get time off during this period....this lasts until February. So that is why I have chosen March.....
Okay well that is all I want to say now. If anyone has any advice or would like to let me know how their surgery went please feel free to message me.
* Airplanes - Have to purchase a 2nd Seat to ride on one.
* Restraunts - Usually can't fit into the booths and have to get a table or suffer
* Sleep Apnea - I have had this for awhile but I literally am too scared to go to bed if I don't have my cpap machine
* Walking - I usually can't walk to stand too long because my feet start to hurt and when I say hurt I mean it!
* Money/Clothes - I really dont know what size I am in clothes, I have stretched my jeans that were a size 30 and they are very tight...I bought a pair of size 32 capris but they get tight after I wash them. I have to stretch them out in order to fit in them. I usually can't find any cute clothes that fit me....shirts are sometimes easy to find but pants - none - I have 3 pairs of actual pants, the size 30 jeans, size 32 capris, black slacks (oh but the zipper is busted probably from me stretching them with my stomach - so i rarely wear them) I also have gaochos and stretch pants but I ususally don't wear those in public. Oh and fat clothes cost a lot!!! I usually have to wait till Fashion Bug has their buy 1 get 1 for a $1 sale to purchase clothes.
* Anxiety - I feel like every single person is staring at me saying something about me being obese or disguisting or something mean when I am out. I just get myself really down and dont make eye contact with anyone. It is really hard for me to meet new people also at this weight. I feel like I have to joke about my weight or say something about my weight because I feel like they are holding it in to say something.
* Personal Hygiene - Now I shower and brush my teeth and such every day. I am not a stinky person. I am bringing this up because it seems a WHOLE LOT HARDER to have to wash myself in the shower...I have to bend in awkward positions, I have come up with a routine though and so far it is working...but my belly seems to be the biggest thing that gets in my way. When I go to the bathrooms in public I have to make sure I go to the handicap bathroom so I can have enough room to position myself to wipe.
* Self-Image - this goes along with Anxiety, but I don't see myself as a beautiful person anymore. Since I have gotten to 366 I never take pictures of myself anymore, and if I do I usually end up erasing them because I just dont like the way they look.
Those are just some of the issues I have been having that I can think of right this minute due to my obesity. I would like to keep this blog running until I am to my goal weight of 145 and I would like to look back at this to just remind myself as to why I am doing it and why never to return to this hell.
I am just starting my process of getting approved for this surgery. I already went to a seminar on 07/24/2008. It was for Dr. Michael Snyder with Rose Medical Center. After reading all the great reviews about him and seeing how nice him and his staff were at the seminar, I have chosen him to be my surgeon.
With Aetna, I have to have 6 months of supervised diet and exercise. I go to the registered dietician at my primary care physician on 08/09/2008. I am hoping this is covered by my insurance, I have to call them tonight. If not then I will just go to my Doctor and have him weigh me every month, I dont know. I called Dr. Snyder's office and set up a consultation for 11/05/2008. I don't plan on having my surgery until March though. I just started my job in June (thank the lord they start insurance right away) but my training isn't done intil end of September..and starting at the end of October our busy period starts and it is really hard to get time off during this period....this lasts until February. So that is why I have chosen March.....
Okay well that is all I want to say now. If anyone has any advice or would like to let me know how their surgery went please feel free to message me.
