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I spent all of yesterday reading Dr. Garth's book on WLS and I'm going to do my best to take his message to heart.  In order to make the most of this opportunity, I need to spend this next month preparing my body and my mind for surgery.  If I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do it right!

So, I got up this morning, and I started my vitamin regimen.  I don't have all the supplements I need yet, but I have some of them.  So I took a multivitamin and a calcium.  At lunch I'll take my Vit D.  At dinner I'll take another multivitamin and another calcium.  And at bedtime I'll take an iron pill.  Of course, these are the exact same vitamins I'll be taking after sugery, but that does not matter.  I'll be forming the habit and that's what counts.

I also decided to concentrate on eating more protein at every meal and to eat the protein FIRST.  So this morning for breakfast I had 2 scrambled eggs and a small glass of milk.  I think I'll have tuna for my lunch.  I'm going to do my best to cut out high fat and simple carbs over the next two weeks.  The last two weeks I'll be on those protein shakes, but I might as well do what I can now to incorporate as much protein into my diet as possible.

And lastly, as soon as I finish this blog, I'm going to haul my butt upstairs and walk on my treadmill for 10 minutes.  In fact, I have made this my official goal for the month.  A daily 10 minute walk (inside on the treadmill when the weather is bad, or outside when the weather is nice) to condition my body and build up my strength and stamina.  I have been sedentary for so long that a 10 minute walk may be all I am capable of at first.  But if I can build up to 15 or 20 minutes daily, I will do so.

All of this physical prep is good, but I hope it will also help me with my mental preparations as I get ready for my WLS.  I must make a commitment to myself to LOVE my body and to treat it with respect.  I would never treat my husband's or my children's bodies the way I treat my own.  I must begin to see that loving myself includes loving my body.  My new mantra for the month is:  I LOVE MY BODY.  I will say it to myself over and over again, reinforcing the positive physical activities with positive mental imagery as well. 

Hope is a wonderful thing, is it not?

OMGosh!  I found Dr. Garth Davis's book on WLS on Barnes Noble and downloaded it onto my Nook.  I've been reading it all day!  So much wonderful information.  I feel so much better now that I know exactly what to expect before, during and after surgery.  I'll have to re-read parts of it over and over again before surgery so that I'm really prepared, but I feel 100% better about my surgery now.

Okay, I know this is a little bit silly, but I ordered new pjs, slippers and a robe yesterday.  I had made a pledge not to buy any more size 3X clothes this winter, but I got to thinking about being in the hospital next month with nothing decent to wear!  All of my winter pjs are just about worn out.  I can't go in there looking like a ragamuffin!

In fact, just about all of my winter clothes are ready for the rag bag, but I've been determined to just make it through.  I don't ever want to buy another size 3X anything again!

I stand in my closet and see clothes from size 16 up in there.  (Heck, there are probably some size 12's still in there.)  And I made myself a promise that as I come down through the sizes this time, I'm going to THROW AWAY all my fat clothes!  Always before, whenever I dieted, I would just stick my fat clothes in the back of my closet, knowing that some day I would probably need them again.  But not this time.  I'm getting rid of them as soon as I--ahem--"outgrow" them, so to speak!  :) 

So, this morning, I'm going to order some samples from Bariatric Advantage.  I want to try samples of the protein drink before I have to buy a big supply from Dr. Davis on Feb 8th.  I'm going to order the Ready to Shake bottles in all 5 flavors and try them out.  That way I will know what flavor of canisters to buy next month.  I really can't see me liking the banana flavor, but you never know.  And sometimes that fake strawberry flavor is a little too fake for me.  So I thought this would be the best solution.  Try them all out ahead of time and see what I can and cannot tolerate.  I know I'm going to be drinking these daily for a long time.  I hope I like at least one of them.

Well, it's been a long road to get here, but I finally have a surgery date: Feb 22, 2011!  I had to jump through all the hoops required by the insurance last fall.  Had to sit through a 3 month mandatory medically supervised diet program, then I had to wait out the holidays, but the countdown is finally on!

I haven't done much research on WLS since last August.  My surgery date was non-existent and I just felt too removed from the process to get very involved.  But suddenly this morning, I realized that I'm just about one month away from surgery and now I feel a very urgent need to get involved here on OH and to bring myself to terms with what's about to happen to me.

Actually, I guess I have been thinking about it quite a bit.  Every time I drink a Coke or eat a piece of chocolate, it's like I'm saying goodbye.  I love Coke and chocolate.  But I realize that after surgery, I will have to let them go forever.  This realization is both scary and exciting.  I think I can choose to look at it one of two ways:  it's either liberation or it's deprivation.  I'm working hard to bring myself around to seeing it as liberation!  I can finally lay that burden of "to indulge or not to indulge" down.  I can't have it, so that's it.  I don't have to worry about it anymore.  I can move on.

It will be good for me to explore my feelings on OH before the surgery, and I plan to begin daily journal entries starting today.  I think the key to successful WLS lies more in my mental health and attitudes, rather than in the physical changes that will be taking place in my body.  Dr. Davis can only operate on my stomach; he can't operate on my brain!  I have to do my part to be mentally and physically prepared before and after surgery.  It's a challenge.  But I can meet it.

Oh, hurray!  Just got the call from Tameki today that my benefits have been approved.  I have my first appointment with Dr. Garth on Aug 26th.  Just one month away.

I am feeling more and more certain that gastric bypass is the right step for me.  I am very eager to have my Molina band removed, regardless of the complications that might arise.  I have a new friend here on OH who also had a Molina band, almost as old as mine, and Dr. Garth was successful in removing her band and performing the gastric bypass.  She has had such good results in the past year.  It gives me great hope!

Now all I have to do is prepare myself mentally for the changes this operation will bring to my life.  I did it once before with the gastric banding and I know I can do it again.  I was more than willing to accept the dietary restrictions back in 1993 when I had the band put on.  I lost 140 lbs and I was so happy and healthy after that.  I thought I had found a permanent solution to my problem.  But little by little the weight came back, no matter how hard I tried.  Now here I am, 17 years later, and I'm just 10 pounds shy of where I was then.  So sad.

But I have faith in Dr. Garth and in the bypass.  And in myself.  I know I can regain my health with the help of this surgery and my willingness to work hard.  As I told my children, "This isn't about being skinny; it's about being healthy!"

My husband and I are attending the first seminar required by The Davis Clinic at Methodist Hospital in Houston this evening.  I'm looking forward to taking the first step in this journey.  I'm very grateful for my husband's love and support.  Since we're from out-of-town, we even had to arrange for a hotel room for an overnight stay.  Not a single word of complaint from him about the time or expense!  He's a doll.

I'll be posting more over the next several weeks, but I just wanted to make a start on my documentation today.  I'm 53 years old, 5'10" tall and weigh 275 lbs.  My BMI is 39.  I have hypertension, arthritis and I'm pre-diabetic.  It is past time to get my life and my health back!