December where or where did 2009 go?

Dec 11, 2009

Wow! Is all I can say this has been a WONDERFUL year! I have met some amazing people from OH that I can now call friends, my support team, my counselors, my sisters AND brothers. As I go into the 2 year mark of having this surgery and changing my life I look back 2 years ago from this time when I was JUST beginning this process.

I was unhappy, disgusted, and just plain TIRED of living the life I was living and finally connected that it wasn't about my job, my husbannd, my family, or my friends the happiness and contentment that I was missing was missing because i was not happy or content with myself! That is a liberating feeling to realize that  I the power within me to change my life without anyone else doing a damn thing!

I've lived my life not necessarily for but THROUGH other people and other things. Figuring if I showed the world how good of a wife, employee, friend, sister, daughter, aunt I was they would look over how badly I was treating myself because I "had" to take care of them and that would give me brownie points for being a 31 year old 299 lb woman with infertility issues, high blood pressure, diabetes, and back pain. But it didn't and when I made the final deision to do what I needed to do to get me healthy I began my journey to happiness.

I believe next year and the eyars to come will be harder than these first 2 years were simply because I've slipped back into some habits because I want to. I have become so selfish that I feel that I should be able to have whatever I want whenver I want it and not have to worry about the consequences. So, next month I'm going to start some type of consistent routine, I've made an appt. with my NUT to get my eating under control (I hate to spend the $50.00) but gotta do it lol), and I'm going to get involved more with the structured support group. My goal for next year is to be the same size 6 I am today this time next year. Unless I have my tummy done which case I may be a size 4/6 and I hope to continue to inspire and encourage those behind me nd even those that went before me but may have gotten off track with their journey.

If I don't get back to write..have a Merry Christmas and a rocking new year!

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