Rachel1219

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I haven't written in a few months....things have been great I suppose.

I started personal training sessions mid-August and have been very consistent and excited about the exercise.  It's been great!  I can feel myself getting stronger and people have been commenting that I look fantastic.

So...that being said....I'm still losing extremely slowly.  I'm at maybe 3-4 lbs a month...if that.  Usually I have a big 3lb loss all at once and then nothing for the rest of the month.  I'm still waiting for that 3lb loss this month. 

I just completely 4 weeks of personal training and in those 4 weeks I lost 3 lbs and lost 1.1% of body fat.  The body fat is really intriguing me.  I put together a spreadsheet to determine how long it would take me to get down to about 20% body fat losing the 1% a month or so.....it's interesting.  I should be looking amazing this time next year if I keep it up.  What's really cool to see is that with the 3lb weight loss...it was completely fat.  My lean body mass actually went up a bit, meaning I have gained some muscle. So, I actually lost a little more fat than actual weight because I put on about a quarter percent of body mass in muscle. 

So that's motivating me to go for the body fat goal and not a weight loss goal.  I know the numbers don't mean as much as how I feel and look and how the clothes fit. 

I have 11 more personal training sessions left....another 4 weeks or so.  After that, who knows.  I'd like to continue because right now...that's the only time I get to the gym.  I have to go to the gym....I've certainly paid enough for it.  I'd like to start getting into a habit of going during the morning, but my 2-year-old daughter throws a fit every time I even pull into the parking lot of the gym.  She does not like the childcare.  So...in the meantime, she'll be in school...by herself...starting December 1st.  So, worse case, I'll continue with the personal training and then starting in December through the end of the year and on from there...I'll have Tuesdays and Thursdays...2 hours...dedicated just to me. 

I'm not sure if I even wrote about hair loss before....but now that it's stopped, I had to talk about it!

So around 3 1/2 months I started losing hair.  It wasn't drastic and I have A LOT of hair to begin with.  But it was definitely noticeable every time I washed my hair and very large strands were coming out.  Ugh, it was awful. 

So I'm happy to say that somewhere in the last 2 weeks the hairloss has slowed to the same amount it was pre-surgery...basically a few strands here and there.

I have draino-ed the shower and the shower drain and my hair brush are now throroughly happy with the lack of extra hair.  Not to mention my husband is rather happy about that aspect as well.

I'm still losing slowly...but still losing.  I am down about 66lbs now.....another 4lbs in the last 3 weeks.  It's been a crazy month with lots of family activities and lots of food. 

I really need an exercise routine.  Gotta do it. 

Wow, it's been 6 months today.  It's amazing what a difference 6 months can make and what a difference only 60lbs can have.

I had my post-op visit with the surgeon today and my first labwork done.  A year ago I had labs done and haven't had any since.  My total cholesterol was a whopping 230 in May of 2007.  Now, it is 151.  My triglyceride levels were crazy high at 379, now it is 73!  My HDL cholesterol stayed the same at 39, but the LDL cholesterol went down from 115 to 97.  I'm incredibly pleased with the health benefits that it shows in losing the 62lbs so far.

As far as my vitamins and proteins go, I am extremely happy that all my levels are perfect.  The bariatric coordinator was a little surprised at how great my Vitamin D levels are...she says they are not usually that good.  Protein is great, Iron is great, all in all, an excellent 6 months.

So food and vitamins are all going well......now I just need to kick my butt in gear into the gym.  I have to do it.  I lost 50lbs in the first 3 months and only 12 additional pounds in the last 3 months.  I'm not so concerned about how fast the weight comes off, but I know it's only going to be harder in the next 6 month to a year.  I have about 50lbs to go until I'm at my goal weight.....so I have to get going.  

My next appointment is for my 1-year check-up.  I hope to be just as biologically healthy then, and about 50lbs lighter.  

I went to an old childhood friend's wedding this past weekend.  It was amazing.  I have known Kara for over 18 years...she was the Maid of Honor at my wedding.  I was so excited to be there and be a part of her day.  

I was not a bridesmaid so got to pick my own dress.  I felt like I should have borrowed a dress, as I'm still losing, but it was so nice to buy a new dress and get matching shoes.  I had my hair done up nice.  I felt amazing....and know I looked amazing too.  Even with the tummy that sticks out no matter what I do....I looked good.  I'll try and post pictures soon.....

The best man's girlfriend was this skinny little thing wearing a very very very short black dress.  At one point she was pretending to auction off a cowboy hat (okay, you really had to be there for that one....) and in the auctionere type voice she said $30.00 to the cute lady in the corner.  I couldn't believe my ears.  Did little miss hottie just call me cute?  That just made my day.  

I got many compliments during the wedding....and not about the weight loss...just about being beautiful.  It felt great.  

So.....I will try and remember all those feelings of being "cute" or "gorgeous" or "beautiful" or any other compliments I got this weekend.....and despite the extra cakes and sweets and the plethora of alcohol consumption.......I will remember that I am a beautiful woman.

That being said...I haven't stepped on the scale yet since being home.  I'm afriad of what the weekend of craziness has done to me.  I was totally out of my element, eating more, eating more often, and eating foods I don't normally eat.  And we probably shouldn't even talk about the drinking.  I'm a decaf girl all the way....but I tell you, I must have had a whole pot of coffee this weekend to keep me going (not all at once I might add.....but still, a lot of coffee all weekend long).  And let's just say that the bloody mary's were definitely not virgin.......

So.....a new week is starting, vacation is over, time to get back to reality and continue on with the good path.

I had a lot of fun shopping yesterday.  It's amazing how many clothes and at such great prices there are out there.  I bought my first pair of jeans since losing all this weight....I've had quite a lot of pants/jeans to go down into in my closet but they are all fitting baggy still.  I bought a pair of lowrise, slim fitting jeans that actually give me a butt..and that's a good thing??  I had it on and put on a long tank with it and realized that I need shorter shirts to show off my bootie.  Wow......I never thought I would go for shorter shirts.  

Today, not wanting to waste my new clothes on just a lounging around day in the house, I put on a pair of khacki capris that were in my closet.  They fit!  In the pocket was a receipt from Mario Triccoci dated 9/9/01.  I had mixed feelings seeing that receipt.  I haven't worn these pants in almost 7 years.  That was before I had any kids too.  So that was exciting.  But then I thought about what happened just two days later.  It's weird....too bad putting on the pants that I haven't worn since 9/9/01 couldn't bring me back to 9/9/01.  How different things could have been.......

So my impulse purchases from yesterday, two cute babydoll shirts, were vetoed by my husband.  They make me look pregnant.  So those are going back.  I also may return a skort that I bought.  It is sooooo cute.  It's a dark dark bluejean...almost dark grey/blue if that makes sense.  It's tapered at the bottom a bit and really looks nice on me.  It's actually the same length all the way around (as opposed to shorter in back from my big bootie lifting it up).  The problem is, it's a bit tight and just barely buttons...if even.  It was $14.00 (down from almost $30) so I bought it anyway thinking that it'll probably fit within the next month or two.  Everyone needs a goal right?  The weird thing is, same brand, same size, I bought another skirt that I can wear now.  I think it's because the jean material isn't as heavy.  It has a little more give to this one.  It's more of a regular blue jean color.  I really don't think I need both skirts.......but the dark one was just too cute.  So maybe I'll give up the bluejean one that fits down so I am more motivated and excited to get into the dark one.  

I also bought a cute little woven v-neck sweater.  It's one of those open sweaters that are layered over other tanks.  I'm thinking that'll look great with ny new pair of bootie showing jeans.  That was my most expensive purchase...but I should be able to wear it for a while.  Actually, I might take  a look and see how the Large fits.  The sweater is x-large so if I can wear the Large....and even if it's a bit snug now, it'll last that much longer.

So now....I need to focus on new bras and a bathing suit for the summer.  I have no idea what bra-size I am now.  I haven't really lost much in the breast department, but they are definitely more saggy and I know that I've lost inches around.  So I'll go to the really nice boutuiqe by my house to get measured and then can go buy the correct size somewhere a little less expensive.  I think having new bras may make a huge difference...something that actually supports, lifts, and tightens.  

And a bathing suit, that'll be interesting.  I tried on a few yesterday at the department store, but I really need a specialty store.  I read someone else saying that a halter top is great to be able to lift up and tighten as much as possible the top portion......to keep the sagging girls in place.  So, I'm looking for a cute halter swimdress or maybe tankini.  I like the skirts though so they hide the thighs....never really looked good in the shorts style.  I figure paying good money for a good quality bathing suit will be worth it, even if it only fits me for this summer.  Next summer I'll just buy a new one....a much smaller one.  

So, a 4-week stall has finally broken and what a powerful motivator, or shall I say, lack of motivation it can be.  

I totally understand there will be stalls that will happen along the way, but I never expected that the stall would basically cause me to cease all exercise!  You think it would be the other way around, or should be at least.

But instead of hitting the gym harder, I could've cared less.  Not seeing the scale move made it almost like, why bother attitude.  

So, I need to learn to deal with the stalls a little better.  

The stall has officially lifted as I'm showing anywhere from a 1-2.5lb loss and haven't seen that dreaded 195 number that I saw for so so so many weeks.  

My own personally theory is that because I weighed around 200lbs for so much of my adult life (only really going up past that once I started and continued having kids).  I think my body is at it's comfort zone around 200lbs.  Now that the 4 week stall has broken, I hope that I will continue moving downward.  

I have about 10lbs to go until I'm below my wedding weight.  Then another 8lbs until I'm at my all time lowest post high school weight (which I achieved after 6 weeks of Phen Fen in 1997).  After that.....another 12lbs and I'm at my lowest weight since Freshman Year of high school.  

I can't believe that today will mark 3 weeks of following an exercise program.  This will be my 9th workout!   Nothing has ever made me as excited and motivated to get to the gym before.  I can't believe I am running about 13 1/2 minutes now!  It's not completely straight through...but it's still 13 1/2 minutes of running that I wouldn't have done 4 months ago.  The longest I run at a time this week is 3 minutes and it's amazing how good I feel.  After 3 minutes of running, I feel like I can keep going.  I don't keep going because I know the program is designed to slowly build up our ability....but it's exciting and next week I think I'm up to 5 minutes.  

My mother bought me 2 cute shirts about a month ago for my trip to Florida.  They were too tight, but I kept them anyway because I knew they would fit eventually.  This past week I wore both of them.  I have only lost about 10lbs in the last 6 weeks....but regardless of only 10lbs......it's the difference in my body that really matters.

But that being said, I'm also feeling down about myself......hormones messing with me I guess.  I feel like my stomach is not going anywhere.  It's still this big huge mass in front of me and I feel like it's never going to be gone.  I see others who have lost all their weight and they don't appear to have a big stomach, so i'm sure it'll go.  I still have quite a bit of weight to lose.....45lbs to my arbitrary 150lb goal and another 14lbs after that for my 136lb "ideal weight" goal.  I'd imagine that in those 45-60lbs additional loss....my stomach will be a big part of that.  I'm hoping at least?  I know that I will definitely need plastic surgery to truly get rid of the tummy and who knows when and if I'll have the time, money, and ability to do it.  I'm hoping in 2 years for a 10year anniversary present to myself and my husband....somehow I think that will be just as much a present for him as for me

Well, time to get the kiddos ready for school and get ready for my workout. 

My newest goal is to exercise more consistently and learn to run a 5K.  It's really a great feeling to actually be getting my butt to the gym and doing what I said I would do.  Having a program and a goal is really helping.  I'm doing the couch to 5K program available from www.coolrunning.com and it's really exciting.  I'm completing the 2nd week of the program and am running a total of 90 seconds at a time.   Next week I'll be running for 3 straight minutes.  Wow.  Now keep in mind, it's run/walk/run/walk for about 25 minutes so it's not like I'm just running 90seconds total.  

The most exciting part about the coolrunning program is that I'm actually motivated and excited to go work out.  It's a quick work-out that even with the 5 minute warm-up and 5 minute cool down...I'm finishing in 35 minutes.  Today I woke up, got dressed in my work-out gear, and was excited to go work-out when my 3-year-old started screaming that he didn't want to go.  Tuesday when I went some boys "laughed" at him in the kids club and now he doesn't want to go.  So, I tried to stay at home and work-out on the tredmill laying dormant in the playroom (covered in piles of stuffed animals).  After 10 minutes on there I practically couldn't breathe.  It's set at probably a 5-6 incline grade which wouldn't be so bad if I was just walking, but to try and walk/run and work on my work-out.  Not good.   So I packed the kids up in the car with the double stroller and off to the lake we went.  I bribed them with the park if they behaved for the walk around the lake.  It was a beautiful day and in 30 minutes I had completed my walk/run around the lake and the kids were happy to play.  It probably wasn't as good of a work-out as usual.  I was mostly focused on trying to read the time on my phone through the glare of the sun while running.  By the end I just counted to 90 while running and sometimes it was 90 seconds, sometimes a little under, but it worked for now.  

Next week will be tough.  My 3-year-old is home all week from school so if he still has a problem with going to teh kids club it's going to be a hard time getting to the gym for me.  If it continues to be nice I'll stick with the walks around the lake, but it's so hard to tell.

I think after a week of safely hovering around the 199-200 range I can say that I am officially under 200!  It's exciting.  I had set the goal of being under 200lbs by my cousin's Bar Mitzvah party (which was this past weekend).  It was great to achieve a weight loss goal in the time I had specified.  I saw a lot of family and family friends that I haven't seen in a long time.  Everyone was amazed at my progress.  My aunt amused me in that she said she didn't notice any change in me when she visited me in the hospital after surgery (day 2 mind you) but now, wow, what a difference.  I mean, seriously, was she expecting that 2 days after surgery I would have looked totally different?

It was a lot of fun looking great.  I mean, I've always had a high self image of myself and always thought I looked beautiful.  But.....to have my body starting to match that beauty is great!  

So, now that I've achieved one of my 1st goals.  I have set a new goal of exercise.  I want to be one of those people I read about who went from doing no exercise at all to being a runner.  I haven't run in years.  Probably since I was in high school and "had" to run.  And even then....the 12 minute runs we were forced to do turned more into 12 minute walk a little, oh the teacher is looking lets run now sort of laps.  

It's funny.  In school we have gym every day and people like me groaned about it.  Now, what I would give to have a set 50 minute period of pure exercise daily.  Now I have to pay for a gym membership, set aside time, drive myself there, motivate myself to keep going.  

I have started a coolrunnings program "Couch to 5K program".  It's a 3 day a week program....so 3 days, that's it.  I can do 3 days a week.  The weather is getting nicer so I'm hoping that I can get myself to wake up early and run/walk in the morning before Dan leaves for work.  By early, I mean probably around 5:30am.  We'll see how my body handles that.  For now, I'll stick with going to the gym in the late morning.

So after 3 1/2 months I decided to check out what a real live support group is like, rather than the virtual one I get whenever I log on here.  

It was interesting.  I had been warned that there are many many reasons that people have become overweight throughout their lifetime and that I am "not the norm" in obesity.  Is there really a norm?  My therapist, during my 6 month physician controlled diet, actually referred to me as "one mentally healthy individual".  

There was a larger group of people than I expected, mostly in their 40's-60's.  I, being 31 years old, was clearly the youngest in the group by far.  The meeting reminded me a lot of a weight watcher meeting.  People sharing ideas and asking questions, asking for advice.  The one thing I was a little disappointed that it lacked was sharing our "wow moments" or other great acheivements.  Maybe I can suggest that, but I would like to see people end the meeting talking about one thing, or more, that gave them great success in the last month.  

I'll try the meeting again next monyh....but I really didn't get anything out of it much.