RaeRae1
Well, my story begins where most begin. How in the world did i get this big??? I've done diet after diet, and would be successful for a number of weeks or months. The largest amount of weight that I have lost is 35 pounds through Weight Watchers (Can I say that here 
) But anyway, I managed to maintain it for a year and I don't know what happened but I found myself at the high end of a BMI...the words hit me in the face like a ton of bricks.....morbidly obese. Ouch!! I'm very short and you know what, I feel so safe in this enviroment, i'm willing to give my stats right now. I am 5'0 and I currently weigh 275 pounds and a BMI of 53.7. There, I've said it. If I were taller, I would have a lower BMI but, I don't think that is going to be happening anytime since. And since I recently turned 35, I realized that at some point, in this aging process, I could actually get SHORTER!!! (my grandmother was shorter than me, my aunts were shorter then me....) Hold on, Wait a minute!!! I've got to stop the madness.
So, why am I here. Not here on earth, I already know the answer to that. Why am I here on the OH boards spilling my guts about my failed weight loss? The answer is clear. For me, I am a tried and true seasonal dieter/exerciser person. Want to know what that is? It is a person who during certain times of the year decides to take on the daunting task of losing weight through traditional methods. I've had more gym memberships than I can count. I've joined WW about 15 times in the past 10 years, I've gone to dieticians/nutrionalists, did every soup diet, cookie diet, veg diet, meat diet, etc...and still, no maintained weight loss. It is an extremely frustrating process that at this point of my life, it's either do or die...literally.
My health issues: I've always had issues with my health because I've always been fat. So the joint aches and the breathlessness and the fat arms, thighs, legs, the headaches and bodyaches, the sleep issues, the menstral cycle issues (had a cist removed from my pitutary gland), and finally, something near and dear to my heart, the loss of 2 children who through no fault of their own, could not maintain residence in their mother's morbidly obese body. Yes, I've had two pregnancies. 1 in 1998 in which I went for an ultra sound, everything was fine. The same night, I was in so much pain, i was crawling on the floor. My parents rushed me to the hospital where they did an ultrasound and told me that the baby was dead. Well they didn't actually tell me, they told my mother. They didn't tell me until the next day that my son, Jordan, was still born. I went through the labor pains brought on by medication. My son was beautiful. I held him, kissed him and said goodbye. Fast forward 2006 at 5 months, I went in for an ultrasound and they told me that the baby's heart was not beating...that he had a slow heart beat and would not survive..
So..I've gone through all sorts of tests and procedures, I've been poked and prodded, I've (and my husband) been given every test imaginable. I went to the best Fertility specialist Dr. in CT (literally he is number one in this State as well as across the USA..) He never mentioned my obesity, however, he gently stated that there was nothing wrong that he could see that would prevent me from having children but, losing a "few pounds could help". He was not vindictive or mean about it, he was just giving his opinion and I stated, "well it couldn't hurt".
So I got on the "waste time with pretending you are working out and eating right cycle" So since 2006, I have gained about 40 pounds. Never thought that it would be me, but it was/is.
In 2007, my loving, funny, awesome father who was weighing somewhere in the 300 range and struggled with diabetes w/insulin, angina, all sorts of issues starts talking about he is considering gastric bypass surgery. What?? wait a minute daddy...That operation is so dangerous. People that we know have died. What do you mean you are going to have that life threatning surgery? He looked at me and said "Babygirl, I'm going to die if I don't have this surgery". So our family went through it with my father, giving him all the support he could ever need. I'm so very proud of my father today because since his surgery, he has lost over 130 pounds, he no longer needs insulin, he's an awesome testimony of the power of faith in God and stepping out over our insecurities into a better life. And to top it off, My God does the man look good!! My father has always been a handsome man but now?? LOOK OUT!!!
Just recently, My husband and I talked about wanting to have a baby. Although I feel that it is God's will and it is my desire to have a child, I need to be healthy before attempting that. I want to be in optomial health because frankly, I do not feel that I can take losing another baby. It's hard, very hard and maybe that is a psychological issue of my eating that I haven't adequaltey dealt with. So, after praying and thinking, thinking and praying and talking, I spoke first with my Husband who is supportive of me in whatever i do. He says "bay, you are already beautiful to me. I just want you to be beautiful and healthy". Can we say WINNER!! I love that man :-) Then I talked to my father who is my biggest inspiration. (I have a few pictures of him in my photos. ) He has been such an encouragment to me. He is actually on the support group circuit and will be the featured speaker when I go to the seminar on Feb 19. How cool is that? Don't be surprised if you see him on this board very soon. He is such a success! As are all of you. I'm very happy right now and I'm gaining a lot of information about Lap Band and Gastric. I want to do what is best for me. So this is the beginning of my story. Oh trust me, I have a good life. I have a good family, a wonderfully loving husband who is my protector, my provider and my strength. I have a family who has always been there for me through thick and thin and are so supportive of me in this endeavor. And I have a God that I serve, love and trust to bring me through this. I just want a better life. Hamburger is good but have you ever had filet mignon? I just want better for my life..(did I just make a food comparison?
LOL...Wow....
Thank you for taking the time to get to know me. I welcome feedback and experience and whatever you have to offer in forms of good ole support. I'll be back with updates!! You can learn more about me and see more pics of the fam and my life at myspace page.
About Me
Before & After
rollover to see after photo
