rchllaw

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Wow I didn't realize it has been so long since I last posted an update.  Well my 8 month surgiversary was on the 6th and tonight I weighed in at 265!!!  That is 185 loss since surgery!  I can't believe I have lost that much.  I feel absolutely amazing.  It's hard to believe I am only 30 pounds away from my dr's goal for me.  I feel great and can't wait till I can get pregnant.  I am being a good girl and trying not to just yet.  Well here is a before and after picture of me so far.  Cheers!

Right After Surgery @449 pounds


Taken 2 days ago :)

br

With each change of season I am reminded of how God has made me who I am today.  A few years back I heard a song by Nichole Nordeman talking about this very thing.  She wrote of the seasons literally but I am talking more figuratively.  I have had some horrible things happen to me in my life and grew up in a really bad situation.  But I wouldn't be who I am today if I didn't face those struggles.  I am a much stronger person who has so much to share.  I happen to be in a Spring season of my life right now :)  I am changing day by day and letting the skinny me out. 

Through this transition in my life I have really learned a lot about myself.  I think I was in denial about a lot of things.  I am coming to terms with my past more than ever and it really is the hardest thing I have been through.  Some of the changes in my aren't so pretty.  I have been really bitchy about a lot lately.  I am working on that side of me.  I want to be the beautiful skinny woman, who is loving and caring all the time, not just most of the time.  I know that I will be but still.

So now an update on my 3 month appointment.  I went to Madison on Monday to see Dr. Gould and Diane.  I am now down a total since surgery of 83 pounds and 93 pounds since 2 weeks before surgery!  WOOHOO!  I am in a 2x and size 26!!!  I haven't seen those sizes since middle school!  I actually LIKE having pictures of myself taken too!  I have a beautiful face emerging from behind the fat.  I am so happy!  I am also in a lot of pain from my quad.  I don't know what I did to it but it still hurts.  I am taking serrapeptase to see if that takes the inflamation away.  I can't take NSAIDS so that really limits me.  Anywho just wanted to update!

Every Season
Every evening sky, an invitation
To trace the patterned stars
And early in July, a celebration
For freedom that is ours
And I notice You
In children's games
In those who watch them from the shade
Every drop of sun is full of fun and wonder
You are summer

And even when the trees have just surrendered
To the harvest time
Forfeiting their leaves in late September
And sending us inside
Still I notice You when change begins
And I am braced for colder winds
I will offer thanks for what has been and what's to come
You are autumn

And everything in time and under heaven
Finally falls asleep
Wrapped in blankets white, all creation
Shivers underneath
And still I notice you
When branches crack
And in my breath on frosted glass
Even now in death, You open doors for life to enter
You are winter

And everything that's new has bravely surfaced
Teaching us to breathe
What was frozen through is newly purposed
Turning all things green
So it is with You
And how You make me new
With every season's change
And so it will be
As You are re-creating me
Summer, autumn, winter, spring

So it has been a month since surgery and I am so pleased at how everything has gone...for the most part.  To date I have lost a total of 56 pounds.  I have a lot to go still but hey that's 56 pounds that will NEVER come back! I hope that this next month I can lose at least another 30 pounds.  I got a total on my medical bills to UW and my surgery so far has cost the insurance around $30,000.  Thank God I didn't have to self pay!!!  It's bad enough that I have to pay $2000.  Eating has been a chore.  I actually asked Jeremy if he thought I would enjoy food again.  A few things have made me sick...over cooked chicken, triscuits, chicken noodle soup, tuna steak and mashed potatoes.  I really struggle with getting my liquids and protien in as well.  I have tried many different protien shakes and bars.  I just can't choke it down.  They all tase chalky and smell really bad.  The infection is still there. It seems like it is getting better.  I am having to see the doctor in Madison once a week.  Last week they had to stretch the opening and make it wider.  I have a feeling I will have to go through that again on Monday.  FUN FUN!  Anyhow that's my update for now. TTFN!

Well it has been a week since surgery and I haven't had a chance to update about what happened :)  I am very happy to announce that it went very well.  I guess the doctors were happy with the way things progressed and said I was easy.  I ended up staying in the hospital until Saturday night and then came home around 5.  The trip home was excrutiating!!  I felt every little bump in the road on my sore stomach and felt like I was getting car sick for the first time in my life! ICK!

So the first few nights were horrible. I slept in a chair and used and ottoman.  I just started sleeping in my own bed a couple of days ago.  I made Jeremy go out and buy me a new mattress because the one we had was almost 10  years old!  So now I am on a soft comfy mattress ahhhhh. 

Yesterday afternoon as I was changing my dressings all of a sudden my left port site opened up about a tenth of an inch!  All kinds of nasty infection and puss were pouring out of it.  So off to Madison we went.  We were in the ER for about 4 hours.  They actually had to reopen the incision and I will have to pack it everyday twice to thrice a day!!! It hurt like a mother fucker!!!!!!!  I didn't get any numbing meds or anything! I made Jeremy give me a shot of oxy right after they started.  fun fun! so anyways that is my update

oh I have lost about 20 pounds since I left the hospital!!!