Update on Mommy :)

Jun 04, 2010

I visited my mommy today. She's looking pretty good, her skin color is back to normal. :) She was running out of her medicine stuff that makes her sleep. I kissed her hand and she started crying :'(.. I said MOMMY... YOU BETTER KEEP STAYING STRONG.. AND YOU BETTER NOT CRY, EVEN THOUGH IT IS OKAY TO... She had her eyes opened for a minute, like a newborn baby who opened his eyes for the first time, and I turned my head and was smiling at her and she started crying again.. I hate seeing my momma cry :'( It's the worst feeling in the WHOLEEE WIDE WORLD. I can't wait until she gets better you guys. My life is slowing tearing apart. I've always been strong... there's been plenty of moments when I've had to be strong. But I'm getting tired. I'm keeping my head up though. But I'm just really depressed. I don't know when my momma's going to be home... my back has been killing me... I feel like I'm lost in a maze. My momma is the only one that understands me.. she's the only person in the world that has my back no matter what I'm going through, good or bad. My sidekick. I feel like it's been years since we last spoke. I think back at any arguments that we've ever been in and I wish that I could just hug her and tell her that I'm sorry and I know I'm wrong, even if I wasn't. I wish that momma would have never learned to use the computer hah. Then neither one of us would have ever even gotten the IDEA to go to get this surgery. I cry everyday, since mom's been in ICU. I wish they would give me and my family something to put us to sleep for awhile, until mom heals. I want to thank everyone who is leaving positive things for me and my family and thank-you everyone who is praying! It means the world to me.
Love,
A.

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