Oh, the nerves...

Jan 04, 2011

can't believe January is already here, and moving rather quickly, might I add!  I can't believe I am possibly a few months away from the surgery that will forever change my life!  These 6 months of pre-op work is almost completed, what is left is stressing me out!  I know that theoretically I will be ready for surgery in February but since I will need my mom to take off work for a couple of weeks the best we can do is end of March.

I love my mom so much for supporting me through this.  My brother and dad are really supportive as well, but let me tell you how awesome my mom is: she is researching and asking me her own questions!  I was quite shocked the other day when she asked me what my feelings would be when people started to treat me differently because of my weight loss.  I expected this from my psych exam or my therapist, but never my mother!  I was honest with her and told her that I would treat them the same way I treat people that think I am dumb.  Now this probably sounds weird but I will try to explain.  I think I am very intelligent and so I sometimes play my dumb card to get what I want.  People treat me differently when they realize I'm not dumb after they treat me like I am.  Anyways, I use it to my advantage to figure people out.  I haven't been wrong yet!  So I think I will treat people the same way, if they choose to treat me differently.

It also excites me when I get a text message from mom telling me she is shopping and wanted to pick me up some comfy pj's and nightgowns for my surgery.  I think we have agreed that I only need 1 night gown and that is it until the weight starts melting off.  (although she did buy me smaller underwear so I won't have any sag in that area!)The one thing I do love to do is SHOP!!!  The hardest process is not shopping at all for clothes right now.  It has allowed me to save some money for my new wardrobe!  I hate shopping with anyone because I feel guilty asking them to come into the plus size store with me, even my parents.  My mom loves Anne Klein, Banana Republic, Gap, etc and when I go there I get depressed because nothing is remotely plus size.  I think we will need a weekend of outlet shopping next fall for new clothing!

Alright, I'm in a rambling mood so I'm going to stop for now.  Have a good night!

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