SassySunshine
Pre-Surgery thoughts
Apr 20, 2009
First off, I am a Christian. I truly believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and that he came and lived among us...sinless...and died on a cross to pay the price for our Sin. He did not stay in that grave...Three days later He rose again and because of this, we are all able to have a relationship with our Creator...who has loved us from before the beginning of time. In all things, I want to put Him first (if you looked at my life you would know that I am definitely in need of the Grace He gives me each and every day because I do not seek His will as I should) and make decisions that are in His will for me. I Praise God for His mercy and grace and forgiveness, but most of all His LOVE.I am 37 years old and 266lbs. I have just recently been put on HBP medicine and am scheduled to have RNY on the 29th of April. I have 4 children under the age of 9. I want to have the surgery, but I am still on the verge of giving up on the whole idea. I want to do what is best for me and my family. I am anxious about my decision....I don't want to hurt any of them.
But I know that if I do all of these issues will continue throughout my life : I want to be able to do things with my children that I am unable or uncomfortable doing with them now. I want to feel comfortable with myself when intimate with my husband. I want to shop casually in any store. I want to feel like people are not looking at me b/c I am fat. I have tried to lose weight, but keep falling back into old habits. I do not want food to be a big deal in my life. I want to think about other things than when my next meal will be. I want to have fun again. I want to play with my children. I want to do all the things that I can't do now because of my weight. I want to go snorkeling. I want to go to the water park with my kids. I want to go on a cruise with my husband. I want to go to the amusement park and ride ALL the rides. I want to be a runner. I want to go shopping with my daughters in the same store when they get older. I want to go horseback riding (and not kill the horse.) I want to fly places, comfortably. I want to help coach something for my kids. I want to go hiking. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin.