sbarothy

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Well Well Well.  I have exceded my goal so far by a pound and for the first time in as long as I can remember my BMI is actually normal.  WOW  i never thought I could have said that.  I know it is just a number but I cannot belive that for once in my life a doctor cannot look at me and say  according to our charts you are obese. 

I have been going to the water park and amusement park with my girls this summer.  I also cannot belive that I am actually walking around out in public in a bathing suit not covered up from head to toe.

You know last yr when I was getting ready for the surgery I was trying to imagine what size I would be in a yr and I knew logically I was going to lose some weight but I could not imagine being smaller than I have ever been in my life.  I am wearing a size 6-8 and just got a clean bill of health from the doctor.  My vitiamin content is great  my b-12 is a little low but he said that is probably due to that vitiamin not metabolizing right with anyone so I will have to take shots for that but everything else is wonderful.

I am looking forward to the next year of my life  I don't have all the firsts to go through  we are starting to live life and not think about the life before. It is my previous life and it is wonderful meeting new ppl and them not making a big deal about all the weight i have lost cause they don't know the before me  they just know me.

Well it has been awhile since I have posted and it is very true that you become less addicted to this site as you lose weight.  I suppose it is because we are to busy living our life we have missed out on for so long.  I have been going to blue bayou with my girls and loving getting out in the sun and riding the rides and just feeling like I am human again cause I can get around and not hurt so much when I am out. 

I have exceded my goal weight.  I wanted to get down to 155 that is what I weighed when I got married and I have exceeded that I am down to 153lbs I honestly slowed down the weight loss.  I don't know how much more I am going to lose but I could stop now and be happy.  I do worry about gaining it all back and that does hold me back from eating but sometimes I worry that it is going to hold me back from eating what I need to eat.  It is a daily struggle to get enough but I have to keep reminding myself that I am more active than I was and that I don't get everything of what I eat so I think I am good but it is a daily struggle.  It is something I didn't think I would be worried with but I am

It is hard to belive it has almost been a yr.  This time last yr I was so anxious about this surgery and all the things I was going to go through and I never in a million yrs thought I would be wearing a sixe 8-10 bottoms and a medium shirt at this time a yr ago.  My daughter kept telling me I would be but I just could not get my head around that at all.  But it is true and it has been a hard road but it has all been worth it to me and I would do it again in a heartbeat but I am not looking back any longer.  I am from now on keeping my eyes on what life holds in store for me.  I no longer have to look back and go wow this time last yr I was doing this and that  I wake up everyday thinking what am I going to do and try today. 

It has been a fun ride with new changes and excitment throughout this whole yr

To all who are getting ready to take this life changing step  It is awesome

Take care

Well weight loss wise I am doing great  I have lost 98 lbs  what a blessing  I did just have to have surgery on Friday  I went to the ER thinking I had something stuck in my tummy pouch but come to find out I had gall stones and had to have surgery.  I am home now and doing much better.  Just something else to get use too

I made it through the holidays just fine  It was not as bad as I thought it would be without all the good sweet foods that we all enjoy at this time of yr.  I am hoping that next yr will be much easier

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday

Well WOW is all I can say at this time.  I feel like a person again.  I can get out and play with my girls and dogs, my husband has a hard time keeping up with me now.   People now think I am younger than I am (which is very nice ego boost) and I am loving every minute of life now.  I look forward to getting up in the mornings to see what the day is going to hold.  I have lost right at 85 lbs.  I have 52 more to go till I reach my goal which I am beginning to think I am gonna go below that but only time will tell.  

It is nice being able to go to any store and try on clothes, but everytime I put on my jeans I am so afraid they are not going to fit or I am gonna have to lie on the bed to zip them up and everytime I am still suprised that I don't have too.  I have gone from a size 26/28 to a 16  yeppers I said a 16 and they are getting lose on me  Before long i will be in a size I have only dreamed of. 

Life is GREAT!!!!!!  I am a bit nervous about the holidays coming up but I have found a new way to live and I am sure it will all be fine.  I figure after this first yr it will be much easier next yr.  

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO EVERYONE  I surely know I am gonna have the best I have had in a very long time.

  Well I added new pictures  one before surgery and one that was taken Friday so 10 days post op.  I can see my dimples again and I don't feel as bulky as I did  I know that sounds crazy but it is true.  I am very anxious for it all to come off but I have to remember I didn't become this way over nite and I won't lose it over nite.  But it is coming off,  I want to have at least 40 lbs gone by July 25th.  I really think that I Can but right now I cannot exercise  I have thrown my back out so I cannot get around very well  but each day it is getting better. 

I go to the dr. on wednesday for my follow up since last week was a holiday.  I do have some burning pains around my incisions but from what I have read this is all normal healing process.  

Nothing more to really say right now  I am banded from getting on the scale at home in fact it is hidden from me so I am looking forward to getting on the one at the Dr to see the lose

What a week this has been.  I have had so many ups and downs I don't know where to start.  I swore I was not going to get a weight scale for the house and sure enough I now have one.  I ended up having my daughter hide it from me since I was becoming obsessive with getting on the scale and when I don't see any change even if it has only been 30 minutes since getting on it the last time.  I started freaking me out.  

I have been through emotional ups and downs with getting off of food and I scared myself that I was drinking to much water.  Now who in their right mind thinks water is bad for you.  I convinced myself that I was going to streach out my tummy pouch by drinking water.  Now that is crazy ain't it.  But I am so worried that the 25 lbs I have lost will come back and I need to realize that I have to eat when I am suppose to and drink as much water as I can cause that is cleaning my muscles body out of all the toxins I have stored for yrs and yrs. 

I am just so scared I am going to hurt something or stop the weight lose or gain all the weight back just like I have done in the past on every other diet I have been on but I keep having to remind myself that this is a total change and unless I sit around and eat junk all day long and drink lots of sodas or caffiene items or sugar this is going to work and work well and that my weight lose will slow down at times and that is ok  the slower I lose it the better it is for my body.  I can say it and I can hear myself but remembering it and believing it is the hard part

25 lbs gone forever

It is over and I faired very well.  I am have a bit more discomfort than I thought I would and I have gone thur some emotional moments not because I am hungry just I think because I am tired.  The staff at vista was great.  MY only complaint was I told the anethesialogist that I get sick from the meds that they use to put me to sleep.  I don't think he thought it would be as bad as it was.  I was sick from the time I got to the recovery room until Tues morning.  SO I was kept pretty out of it by the ICU nurses.  I don't blame any of the staff there for that I have been like that for as long as I can remember.  I am glad that it is over with and I am on the losing side of life  I went out to walmart to walk around for a bit today and snuck on a scale and I am down 12 lbs since monday  how exciting is this.

Looking forward to the next 2 weeks to be over

I will update again soon

Well I survived my liquid diet yesterday.  I know I had it very easy compared to others on here that have to do more than just one day of liquid diet.  I did get a little sleep last night but woke up off and on to check the time.  

My family came in so I have plenty of people to support me thur this process my mom will be staying the whole week with me and watching my girls so my hubby can go to work all week. 

I am ready mentally and physcally  I am ready to be the person I lost along time ago.  In starting this journey a friend of mine told me not to look at this like I am losing my best friend but to look at this as I am finding a old friend that I lost long ago.  ME  so get ready  Me is on the way home.

See everyone on the flip side and on the loser bench

Well as the title says I have been doing some soul searching and I just think I need to write it down for my own sake not because I truly want to.  I know everyone has their own journey that made them who they are and eventually got them to this place where we needed something like this.  I always say I have had a good life and I truly have but I have had struggles  I think my weight has been my protection from myself and the world and I think until I write this down for me to read it will always be there so I am writing to let it go so it don't have to come back and haunt me later.

I have had a hard life no doubt my parents divorced when I was young.  I was always told oh you hurt yourself have a cookie,  everytime something went wrong in life it was food that I was told to comfort me.  I have done alot of things in life as a teenager that I am not proud of but I did make it though them.  I do have a loving mother and father and they are very supportitive of this I am doing, But my weight in my eyes has been my protection from this world.  I can be big as a house and I am invisible to the world nobody pays attention to me noboby comes close to me  I have my friends who are very dear to me but I can keep them at a distance with my weight.  I can keep my husband at a distance as well.  He is my world and I keep him at a distance  why I have no idea, he is a great man and I keep him away from me.  I want this journey to more for me than about losing weight  I want to learn to love myself and let others love me and to let people see who I really am, a loveing caring, intelligent person.  I am ready for my barrier to this world to come down I am ready to embrace myself with all my flaws and sucesses.

Well I have thought about the goals that I have with this upcoming journey to many they might sound silly but these are things that I have missed doing for so long I don't know that I can imagine doing them at all ever again but hopefully it won't be long until I can enjoy the small things in life again 

I will share some of them with you all

1. Bending over to tie my own shoe with having to contort myself

2. Walking the mall with out pain 

3. Taking a shower with getting out of breath

4. Being able to sleep in a bed without a CPAP machine

5. Sleeping through the night

6. Getting up in the morning without pain

7.  Working out in my garden

8. Playing basketball with my girls

9.  Walking and not getting so out of breath I cannot talk

10. Losing 50 lbs

11.  Getting into the Century club

12. Watching my Girls grow up and being able to enjoy them

13.  Playing with my Grandkids

14. Going to a beach again

15.  Riding a Roller Coaster

I have so many more I don't think I can list them all.  My main goal is to live a heathly rest of my life because I feel that if not for the opportunity I am being handed I don't think I would live another 15 yrs without a struggle.  My heart races all of the time and I don't have any quaility of life.  To me this is not about becoming skinny it is about becoming healthy and I sometimes just want to know why I am so special to get an opportunity like this.  I have dreamed of this new life for myself and I am ached for it but never thought this would come and then look at me now one day and a wake up left till my whole life changes. I just want to sit and cry I am so happy.  
I am scared to death I am so afraid this will be like everything else and it will not work.  I know this is just me talking I know it will work but when you fail at something so many times you worry about things like this. 
Feeling on top of the world this morning