bundle of nerves!

Jul 10, 2009

I am a bundle of nerves right now.  I wanted my surgery date to hurry up and get here and now it is five days away and I am SCARED!  I know that I shouldn't be but I just keep thinking of what if?  Then to make matters worse, my skinny best friend that has never had to watch her weight a day in her life, told me that she couldn't believe that I was doing something this dangerous when all I need to do is diet and exercise.  I told her that I appreciated her concern but I will die if I continue on the weight path that I am on.  I am sure that everyone has felt this way about their surgery but I just wonder if I am doing the right thing.  I guess I shouldn't say that because I know that I am doing the right thing.  I am 32 years old and creeping up on 300lbs.  I have sleep apnea, infertility and borderline diabetic.  I know that this is what I need to do to become a healthier person but I am scared of the pain of surgery and then afraid I will have complications afterwards.  I need the proverbial slap in the face right now to snap me out of this!  But then I get excited because I think of how great thin will feel!  I am also scared of the roller coaster of emotions that I know will continue throughout this process.  I am so lucky to have a supportive husband and family.  Whew, I had to get that off of my chest!  Going to snuggle with my hubby!  Goodnite people! 

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