sdelle1956

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Today is 10-13-17 and I have just begun the process of setting up the surgery in a few months.  I never wanted the surgery.  I wanted to do it the "right" way, the healthy way.  I changed my diet years ago.  I gave up sodas.  I gave up fast food, I gave up fried foods, I gave up red meat, white bread and flour products.  I quit smoking.  All of the things I gave up I was PROMISED I would lose SOME weight.  My friend "D" gave up Dr. Peppers and lost 15 pounds.  I GAINED every time I gave up something.  I started walking.  My neighborhood was very hilly.  I quickly increased speed and stamina....but lost virtually nothing.  weeks would go by and I would lose MAYBE a pound.  I would finally say "screw it", if it's not going to work, why keep trying.....then when I stopped, I would GAIN 20 pounds.  2 years would go by.  I am eating lots of fresh fruits and veg.  grilled chicken or salmon, LOTS of salad, I LOVE salad.  and I think "maybe I didn't try hard enough", so I join the local gym.  I go 5-6 days a week and work out for an hour each time.   I do treadmil, ellipticals, weight training.....and I am KILLING it.  for FIVE MONTHS I was KILLING it.....and lost about 7 pounds....JUST OVER 1 POUND PER MONTH.  I said 'screw it"  I was hoping for a pound a week.  I then GAINED 25 pounds.  When I was young, I was never SKINNY, but I married in 1979 at 135 pounds....5'6" ...a nice slender size.  when I was about 23, I had to take HIGH doses of steroids.  I gained 30 pounds in 8 weeks.  I NEVER lost any of those 30 pounds.  After I quit taking the steroids, I was told the weight would eventually leave me.  It didn't.  and I began to add to that .......for years I smoked, drank alcohol, ate fast food, LOVED fried okra...I ate anything I wanted and for years weighed about 190 pounds.  Then I moved to a one level house in Nebraska from a two level house in Alabama and gained about 30 pounds right away...no stairs and it snows 8 months of the year.  so I'm at 220.  then I lose my job and quit smoking within months of each other.  for six months I kept the weight at 220, but then added another 3o-40 pounds.  I'm tipping the scale at 270.  I head back south and spend 6 months looking for a job.  by this time, my diet is healthy.....I've cut out 90% of all alcohol, no fried foods, fresh fruit and veg......no fast food, no sodas......and I think....I'm getting to close to 300, I've gotta do something about this.  I start walking, riding a bike.....nothing.  I FEEL better sure.  but I wanted those numbers to drop.  They don't drop so I give up....now I tip the scales at anywhere between 294 and 307 (my highest weight ever in my 61 years.)  My thyroid is fine, my pituitary is supposedly fine....there is no endocrinological reason for the weight gain, so I must be delusional or lying.  I can no longer cut my own toe nails, I can barely dress for work, the act of getting in the bed is exhausting.....and my daily diet consists of fresh fruit, low fat yogurt, lean cuisine, 5-6  saltines with cuisine, and for supper a salad or grilled salmon.  I do not snack, I do not go to fast food places, but I am fatter than I have ever been.  My doctor recently suggested the gastric sleeve.  I have high blood pressure, severe sleep apnea, am pre diabetic and my BMI is 47 , I think.  I know I have to jump through a lot of hoops to get to the surgery.  I would appreciate any pointers or tips from those that have been here.  will publish pix later.  ya'll know how it is....when you are heavy, you don't like having your picture made.....but I will say this, the picture of my face?  that was 7 years and about 80 pounds ago.  so I DO need to update.