Eeyore Feeling, Again...

Oct 16, 2010

I know, I know, but I am feeling the "It'll never work...." all the time, lately.  I am trying to stay positive, but it just isn't working.  Monday, I see Dr Hunter again, but I just have the feeling I will be told to wait even longer.  Knowing myself, I just wonder how much more "Wait & See" before I just throw in the towel?  Last year I got sidetracked by an auto accident.  Then around December 09 I made the call to go to a seminar.  Went in February, saw the surgeon in March, then put on hold.  Got frustrated, contacted a second surgeon & went to HIS seminar.  Got a negative response & told to go back to the first surgeon.  In the meantime I started looking for another surgeon, I got told not to bother coming back to the first surgeon.  Went to surgeon number three's seminar, then got lost in the shuffle -- I already had many of the steps finished from the first surgeon, so I sat on my hands a couple more months.  Last month I finally got the word, "Just lose a little more weight... Come back in a month..."  I just feel like I am never going to get that Golden Ticket.

Patience may be a virtue, but sitting on your hands in pain is no fun.  I get to feeling like, "Well crap, if I am supposed to lose XYZ, then why bother getting surgery?!"  If I throw in the towel, I would be a quitter.  I do not like being a quitter, just the opposite.  If I cannot get to the end result traveling in one direction, I try the scenic route!  Maybe the Universe is trying to tell me something?  Speak up, I cannot make out what it's trying to tell me.

Monday, I will pop back on here & maybe have some answer.  Good or bad, I just want to know.  Being emotionally invested for over a year, just to see I am still spinning my wheels isn't fun anymore -- not like it ever was!  I try to tell myself one of my Brenda-isms:  Be Optimistic enough to sell a Pessimist a Dream!

Chug, chug, chug, the Little engine kept saying, "I think I can!  I think I can! I think I can...."  Eeyore, go back to Pooh's Corner!

B  : )~

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