seejo

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It's been 11 days since my surgery and I'm doing great.  The only problem I had was with a rash and infection at my incision sites. The rash was horrible.  I'm not sure what it was from, either latex or medication. 

I've lost 23 pounds so far.  That's more than I've ever lost.  It's so exciting. I just hope I don't screw it up.  I'm starting to want food again so I'm having to be careful sticking to the post op diet and not eat too much.  I'm finding if I take in too much it gives me heartburn. 

Anyway, with each day I become more and more excited about my new life.  I hope the pounds keep coming off fairly quick! 

I've not posted anything on my blog in a while.  It's December and I'm only two days away from my sleeve.  I'm filled with different emotions, primarily anticipation.  I want to get the surgery over with and time seems to be dragging.  Tomorrow is pre-op appts. at the hospital.  Hopefully that will make the day pass quickly.  Surgery is scheduled for 3:00. 

I'm not thinking about getting into that cool pair of jeans or looking different.   I'm thinking that I want to focus on being active and more athletic, despite my bad knee and age.  I'm ready for recovery from surgery and starting on this goal.  I want to lose 123 pounds.  That will put me at 160.  I believe that is a reasonable goal.  We shall see.....

I added pre-op photos today.  I plan to keep these clothes to help measure my progress. 

God be with me as I start this journey......

I saw my doctor today for my 3rd month check up.  I only lost 5 pounds but I'm not too disappointed considering I've pretty much stuck to my diet and have not been about to exercise.  I hurt my back.  My surgery is scheduled for 12/19/2012 but I'm still not sure which procedure I want to have.....leaning toward Roux en Y or the Sleeve.  It's all so confusing and I want to make the correct decision.  Giving up Diet DP is also a challenge that I'm gonna have to meet.  I've truly decreased my consumption.  Depression is also a challenge.

I admire so much the folks I've observed on this site and their progress.  I hope I too can find myself in a completely different place this time next year. 

I'm disappointed in myself.  I gained 10 pounds and have lost back 8 which is bad then good, but it's obvious I have a problem with food.  So does my husband, and he cooked today.  I came home from work today after doing very good to a T'bone steak, mashed potatos and lemon icebox pie.  I'm a terrible influence on him and he is on me.  The temp has been 108 degrees and I'm not wanting to exercise, even in the pool.  The water feels like bath water and I feel sick to my stomach.  I know that it sounds as if I'm whining, in fact that's exactly what I'm doing, but I'm also expressing my struggle.  I've got to lose weight and exercise so I can have my surgery.  I also have to develop discipline.  Someone please tell me it's easier to be disciplined after surgery, although I know that it takes effort. 

Today I've had no discipline.  I can't seem to fill satisfied or full enough.  I know that I have to do well for 6 months before I can have surgery and I still eat peanut butter sandwiches, BLT's, pizza.  I've experienced some of those thoughts I would not dare tell others, such as.....after surgery I can't eat like this again.  I had a friend tell me that she went through a grieving process with food before her surgery.  I did not understand that until now. 

Tomorrow is a new day.  I have to jump back on the wagon and do right so in the long run I can feel and look as good as so many of you who are an encouragement to me.

7-14-12

Yesterday I made the decision to have weight loss surgery.  A friend recommended this website which she has used after having weight loss surgery.  She said it was very helpful for her. 

The decision to have surgery has been one that I have considered for a very long time but my insurance would never pay.  Luckily my insurance company has started a new program in which I am on a weight loss program for 6 months and if I still want surgery it will be authorized if I meet criteria.  I'm sure I will meet the criteria. I have sleep apnea, diabetes, mild heart failure, neuropathy and depression.  I'm almost at my highst weight at 280 pounds.  My highest is 284.  I'm one month into the program and had lost about 10 pounds all of which I've gained back over the past 10 days.  I'm regrouping today. 

I hope that I can look back at this blog entry 17 months from now at 150 pounds.  That is my goal and I have a very long road ahead of me.  I'm scared of the health risk with surgery and know without it the risk are not going to improve much, if at all. 

Dear God, help me follow the rules and remain dedicated to my health.  7-12-2012