About 6 weeks post-op

Feb 01, 2011

Doing ok.  Emotions and moods were very low last week, I mean VERY low.  We'll leave it at that.  The evil depression monster was alive and talking at me.  Feeling better but not great.   Had a therapy appt yesterday which helped.  My therapist is a RNY vet so talking food issues with her is very easy.  The bottom line is, I need to get a life!   I am so bored on most days and feel I have no purpose in my life.  Kids all grown and gone, no job due to disability, live far away from family. You know the story.  Married 43 yrs this Thursday to a saint.  Well, maybe not quite, lol, but he has stuck thru a lot of crap with me.   I have to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life.  I am so afraid of committment to anything.  I have let myself down so many times that I no longer trust myself.  Anyone understand that???  Anyway, I have some volunteer ideas in mind but have not acted on anything as of yet.  I have to before my next therapist visit or she may whip me!! LOL
I DO volunteer one afternoon a week at a hosp gift shop.  It's ok, but not really rewarding or "fun". 
My food comforter has been taken away from me.  I willingly let it go but it's still hard.  I will get through this.

I was able to skip my first fill cause I wasn't hungry at all.  Just starting to feel some hunger but not all the time.  Have stuck to my tiny meals except for one time last week.  Went out with hubby and had one of my "forbidden" foods.  I just ate less of it and got right back on plan, thankfully the next day.   I just cannot imagine the rest of my life without certain foods!  So I am hoping the band will help me cut down my food intake and get this weight off and keep it off to the best of my ability.  I will never be skinny and I'm realistic about my goals I think.  For now, just getting under the 200 mark will be a huge feat!!
One day at a time.  I will go take my walk now.  Have to force myself to do it but I have on most days.  My dog is loving it but me???? Not so much.

0 Comments