shannoncooper122

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not much has changed in thelast month.. My weight loss has slowed to a crawl.  at first it really freaked me out. then i realized i only have 25 lbs left to be right where i want to be.  i have started to think about the tommy tuck.. i think i will need it now.  I really cant expect to shed every pound in the first 6 months but it would have been nice.. I am happy with myself now.. I feel really great emotionally, i think that my years of depression were weight related becasue the person i am becoming feels happiness.. however, when i was heavy i think i sought out heavy friends as a comfort... now those same heavy friends make me feel sad and are very unsupportive.. the saying misery loves company is so true.. however at this point in my life..i just cant allow myself to be with people in a rut because i dont want to go back to that dark sad cave...isolation .. complain.. saddness.. self pitty. self dought.. I dont want to go back.. Physically i can do anything..i can run, jump, play, bend, and more. I go to the gym now and i feel strong.. i no longer feel out of place.  i am not the fat girl in the room.. i am just another person.. I find it funny when i can do a crunch and not pass out. i laugh every time i bend over and stretch.. i can see and touch my feet... the biggest thing for me this month is i can cross my legs.. how funny and simple is that.... i love who i see when i look in the mirror now.. so for me it all has been worth it.....

I just did my 3 month check up ... I am 64 lbs lost... I feel beautiful and happy.  I can eat again so I am having to watch what i eat .. however I eat so little.. i  am not interested in food.  it has gotten easier to get my protein in though.  i have found some things i like.. like click and luna bars.. i am in love with tuna and pickles.  I am a size 12 and it is falling off me.. so funny .. weight loss is still so slow.. some weeks none and others lots.. I have just relaxed and i know it will all fall off..i learned i was anemic this week so i do hate that i have to take more medicine but i am hoping for more energy..i have relized that i am not as pissed off as i was fatter.. i laugh a little more.. i do things i enjoy a little more.  food is no longer my best friend.  i love my rny and all the pain and puking was worth it... if my weight stopped right here i am a better happier person because i chose to have this surgery... i still get scared when something hurts or goes down the wrong way.  i hope time will make that go away.  I love the way i look now and i think i am learning to love who i am . or atleast at peace now...i feel sexy and alive.. things i havent felt in years.  when i go shopping now i dont get strange looks..now i hear things like tiny and small sizes.. i can always find stuff and it no longer is plus size.. men pay attention to me every where and girls are nice to me.. people dont turn and look away or give me looks of yuck..  everyone tells me i look great.. i am normal for the first time in a long time.. Happy Dance

I am one month out.  i have lost 20 lbs.  now i have stalled.  however all my clothes are falling off  me.  i feel alot better lately.  i just started getting energy again.  however i can't eat meat yet.  i fell like i am living off yogurt and cheese.  i love wheat thins but lots of carbs there.  well i hope for another 20 this month.

Yea after months of being on the pathway program at Madigan my day is here.  i am scared but excited. very nervous but ready.  it seems as time has slowed down.  it is funny that we are all in a hurry to be in pain but i am ready for a beginning.  i feel like my life has been standing still fat.  stuck in the same hole everyday.  this surgery gives me hope again.  maybe even allows me to dream again.  i feel like it is the first days of the rest of my life.  i have been fight obesity since i was a child.  now i will have a great chance of beating it.   well i am gonna try to sleep some of the wait away...lol   shannon