Shay1227
I've been overweight all my life, literally. There was one summer before 8th grade that I remember being at my grandma's and I swam in the river the whole time I was there and we could only go so far so we would walk against the current back to where we started and start all over again, that summer I lost so much weight that I could finally start a school year off and feel "pretty". It didn't last long because as always dinner in my house consisted of a meat, starch and vegetable and I was raised to be part of the "clean plate" club. We didn't eat healthy, but boy could my mother cook. Portion sizes what is that. Food has always been my best friend. I look back and remember being the cute little "fat" girl in the school play in 1st grade or being at a family dinner with my cousin who was a month younger than I and having to hear my grandparents and their friends say how pretty she was as I sat there and listened to this. It hurt then and it still hurts and I know they didn't mean it how I took it but it still hurt. I've known several people in the last few years including my cousin and they all feel and look beautiful. One of my best friends who had an RNY done several years ago passed away last year at the age of 39 from Stage 4 Breast Cancer. Our last conversation I was asking her about WLS because I have thought and looked into it for several years but just never thought it was for me. She told me that her doctor told her that had she not had the surgery she would not be here right now having the conversation that she was having w/ me. It shook me to my core because I knew right then and there this is what I needed, but last Thanksgiving I'm standing talking to my dad and he told me that I may be overweight and he thought it was great that my husband loved me even though I was "Special". WOW that even now brings tears to my eyes. I ask myself now, why did it take my friend passing away and my father to say that to realize that life really is so short and I need help. I have two wonderful boys that I want to see graduate from school and have families and be there to see this - talk about blinders being on. I want to get on an airplane and pray that a seat belt will fit me or not have to hold it and not say anything. I want to zip line w/ my son and get on a roller coaster again. I want to be HEALTHY and this year I'm committed to make it about me. 2010 - watch out because here I come.
