June 17, 2005
Jun 17, 2005
Upper GI yesterday. Hum-m-m-m… thought this was an x-ray while drinking some barium. Actually it was over two hours of barium and x-rays!! What fun! Turn this way, contort that way. Drink. Hold your breath. Ok you can breath. Geeze. My poor back was already tweaked this week and this routine put it all the way out. Walked out of there like a cripple. Then I barely made it in the door at work to use the toilet! Yikes! The gal told me to be sure and drink lots of water as I could get constipated as the barium can turn into cement. She didn’t mention anything about diarrhea! So I was in a foul mood most of the rest of the day. Did not want to be at work. Then of course we had to have an earthquake just before two in the afternoon. On the other hand, I wasn’t on the x-ray table when it struck!!! LOL So, I made it through the day and that’s one more test down. The Gall Bladder ultrasound next Tuesday should be it for now. Then back to the surgeon on the 30th.
June 15, 2005
Jun 15, 2005
Short update. When I got home from work yesterday the envelope was in the mailbox. When I opened it the two orders were there. The Upper GI is for TOMORROW, Thursday the 16th. Nothing like short notice!! LOL. The Gall Bladder scan is next Tuesday, the 21st. So things ARE progressing!
June 12, 2005
Jun 12, 2005
OK, OK, OK…. I’ve been prodded enough! Here I am to update my profile!! LOL Alrighty then, so the last update was May 14 after the stress test. Well as of now I have had my Psych evaluation so to speak. At my last appointment with my Psychiatrist I had had the surgeons’ office fax over what they needed the day before. So it was right on top in my chart. The Dr. was like, oh you’ll do great with this, and I’ll get the letter sent over for you. Guess it helps to have been seeing someone already! No big drama with this part for me! In case I didn’t mention it along the way I have been seeing the Psych since March for what is probably Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome…. This arose as my Mom was very ill and close to death in January at the same time I was ill and I just couldn’t deal with the lack of control over her life and death. She recovered, physically, but she has been struggling mentally herself. Of course being so old school she will not go see anyone. Well, that’s fine for her but I needed assistance. Where as she has much time to ponder her navel I am working with a bunch of whiney, demanding clients and they alone are enough to send you over the deep end! Mom’s illness and the lack of meaningful support from my two brothers was just one too many straws on this camel! ARG!!!!! Family! So I am also going to start with a therapist soon (Hey! They haven’t called me with an appointment yet and it’s been two weeks! I think I need to make a phone call tomorrow!!) who my Psyhc says is really good with WL issues. Hope I like him. I want to prepare for surgery and have a support system in place for after surgery too. My PCP was supposed to set up an Upper GI and Gall Bladder scan but hadn’t done so and I, conveniently, didn’t follow up. More on that later…. I had an appointment with Dr. Krahn on June 2nd. Seems that at this point all the preliminary tests should have been done. Ah, oops! So they call a week or so before the appointment and I let them know that well, no I haven’t had the Upper GI, etc. So they got a hold of Dr. Jiffrys’ office and next thing I know I get a call from Dr. Jiffry…. Steven, you need to come in right away! Caught! ARG!!! Doctors!!! So I make an appointment for the following Friday (May 28). There I am in the exam room and the PA says I need an EKG. I’m like OK, I just has the frickin stress test, and my chest is still bare in the EKG sensor places they shaved, but if I need it let’s do it, go right ahead. That done the doc comes in and we start talking. I come to realize they are thinking I am having the surgery in less than a month. After I come out of my shock I ask why they think that cause I am thinking Sept or October and as far as I know there is no date yet. Well, his impression is you wouldn’t schedule these tests until shortly before surgery. Hum-m-m-m I say. Well, since Western Bariatrics is just downstairs I think I should trot down and let them know that maybe they are rushing things! I say bye and head to the surgeons’ office. Nobody in the waiting room, unlike my last visit! I talk to the receptionist and discover1. The tests we are working on are for the INSURANCE approval, not pre-surgery. Oh.2. They are booked already through August anyway so forget about it, we’re not rushing anything. As a matter of fact it seems I need to get my butt in gear if I want surgery before Thanksgiving!YIKES!!! Miscalculation!! I have been dragging my feet about all this because I didn’t want to have a date too soon… or so I had been telling myself.Back upstairs to my physician and I go talk to the office manager, explain the deal and she promises to get the letter from the doc and the two remaining tests scheduled.Cool.So, on Monday the 30th I call and reschedule the second visit with Dr. Krahn to the 30th of June. And start waiting for the envelope in the mail with the orders for the tests from my doctors office. Last Friday having not seen said letter I called and talked to the office manager (who I adore by the way… she IS the best!). Well, la dee da, somehow my chart got filed and none of the three items I needed have been done! ARG!!! Office Managers!!! She apologized and promised to get it done that day! So, I will call back tomorrow and make sure that happened! And I’ll check in with the surgeons’ office to see what they have now and what they still need.Now, about the feet dragging. It came clear to me over the last three weeks or so that I was reluctant mentally to move forward. Nothing jumping up and down waving it’s hands in my head, but I know now I was not committed to this, out of fear I guess. Mostly not having my old friend to lean on but also a big fear of the surgery/complications and whether I have the right stuff to make this happen. Been reading all the horror stories on Obesity Surgery Gone Wrong web groups and sites. Inch by inch working on my mind to lower my resolve and change my mind and be comfortable again. Now it was how to save face with family, friends and my OH friends when I let it be known I won’t be doing this. It had really gotten to that point. I was just sure I wouldn’t wake up from the surgery or worse yet end up living a life that was a living hell. Gotta love those mind demons! As I started fessing up to my fears I found that everyone around me was so supportive. Damn!! Why can't they be mean and dissapointed?? Then I could get out of it with just a little bruise here and there! But no-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!! First off, whatever decision I make is OK with them. Oh joy. What's wrong with these people? Don't the see what a loser I am???? Then, the folks here, particularly my Angel Janine “Mean” Johnson and Mary Ann, really gave me the rundown on what might be going on. Slap!! Wake up silly man! They were right and I realized what I was doing. My resolve was back in hours and I am more positive now then I was back when I felt really shitty in March. See then I felt so bad then it was "hey... here’s the way out". That was my thought process. As I began feeling better and started coming out of my fog I was like, whoa nelly… what the hell am I doing!?!?!? Well, that was it’s own mind game BUT the great spirit in letting it happen that way brought me here so I would be exposed to this and perhaps realize this could help me. If things hadn't happened just the way they did I don't think I would have seriously looked into WLS yet... or maybe ever. Timing is everything sometimes!Now I do believe WLS can, and will, help me. I am content to walk this path and have so many who have gone before me to light my way. It’s a good life after all.
May 14, 2005
May 14, 2005
Yesterday I had my Dobutamine Stress Echocardiogram. All the anxiety I had beforehand was pretty much for naught.My experience wasn't bad at all. It was weird having my heart pump harder as they kept increasing the dose of the drug, but maybe I was WELL prepared going in that that was going to happen because it didn't freak me out like I thought it would. Actually the little scientist in me was pretty fascinated! Darrell was with me throughout the test and he, my cardiologist and the two nurses were like a comedy show. We were all cracking wise, even to the point that they had to have all of us chill so the Echo gal could get a picture without me laughing! Bottom line, though, was there appears to be a perfectly healthy heart in my chest and I am cleared for take off!! And we have pictures to prove it! So my cardiologist is sending the report to Dr. Krahn at Western Bariatrics, and my physician, saying all is well. So one test out of the way!Thanks to all who filled me in on this procedure here on the
Cali
board. (Note to newbie lurkers: The info you get here is great so don't hold back from asking questions!!) And a BIG THANK YOU to my Angel!! You know you helped talk me down about this and you were right, Janine! Would have been a lot worse mentally on me without your encouragement. Don't know what I would have done without Darrell and you by my side! Probably would have wussed out and been a no show. So-o-o-o-o.....((((((((((((BIGBEARHUGZ))))))))))))))
April 13, 2005
Apr 13, 2005
One major mental hurdle done! Yesterday was my first consultation with Dr. Krahn. It was quite a day for me I must say. First off I was very apprehensive going into the appointment. The seminar was one thing but the one on one with the surgeon seemed a WHOLE lot more real to me. The evening before I managed to drink a couple too many Vodka martinis, with no food, and passed out on my bed. Somehow I don't think it was an accident but consciously I sure didn't intend to get ripped. So Tuesday morning came and I woke up with a FABULOUS hangover! Most of the day I was ill and out of it. I left my office in Ontario a little after three and headed to
San Bernardino
for my 4:20 appointment. Got into the office at 4:00 and the waiting room was pretty full. The receptionist told me they were running behind so there would be a wait. OK. Whatever. Filled out some paperwork, paid the fee and sat down to wait. My partner Darrell showed up at 4:15. So we wait and watch the goings on, read and chat. Now, this is the most well done doctors’ waiting room I’d ever been in. There were big, overstuffed couches and comfy, extra wide upholstered chairs. Definitely obese friendly for a change. People filter in and out of the exam rooms and finally it is Darrell, another lady that arrived after us and me. We got called in just after 5:30. I was OK in the waiting room but the minute I got to the first room I started panicking, sweat popping out all over my head, ugh! Got weighed, 418, down from 432 on March 10th at the seminar. BMI of 51. Blood pressure up a bit (no kidding). Had a temperature too. First batch of questions for me, name, rank, serial number stuff. Then off to another exam room to wait for the next person. Of course I am being my usual smart ass class clown. Darrell is being patient and supportive as I am lost in my little world! We’re looking at the RNY diagram and chatting when Beth comes in and goes over all the stuff on my background and health they distilled from the huge questionnaire I filled out and returned to them to get the process started. Cool lady. She even gave me tissues for my sweaty forehead. She then hands us off to Dr. Krahn’s’ PA, Darin. This guy looks just like my nephew. Very strange. He went over my background info also then took my slew of questions. Answered them all. Had a few prolonged discussions on various issues that I asked follow up questions on. Felt a bit better. He is out the door and Darrell and I are cracking some jokes when Dr. Krahn, with Beth and Darin, come in. Is it getting crowded in here or what? Dr. K sat down and we talked for quite a while. At least 15 – 20 minutes. He asked me questions, Darrell and I asked him questions. Then a physical exam, checks my breathing, swelling in my ankles, thumping on my abdomen, heartbeat, etc. Beth taking the notes. After I get off the exam table we chat a while longer. Never felt rushed in the least. From reading here it seems that’s the usual and customary procedure at this point. So now there are tests to take. Upper GI and Gall bladder ultrasound. My PCP had referred me to a cardiologist and psychiatrist last month so those are being covered. Have a “dobutamine stress test” on May 13 for cardiac evaluation. Second visit to the shrink on the 22nd of this month for results of his testing and plan for me! I had stopped smoking last Jan 4th (wow, three months!) which you have to do for him before he will operate. Check that one off! Dr. Krahn wants some weight loss over the next few weeks. One thing I had not read or heard before about this is that this is to help get the liver less, can’t remember the term, but bloated I guess. So when he does the surgery it is not so tender when moved. OK. Sounds fair! Gave us a copy of the lo carb grapefruit diet but then said since I take Lipitor for cholesterol the grapefruit is not a good idea. Told them I had been reading about protein shakes and such here so I have been having one or two a day as meal replacements. Told me that works but to try and stay away from carb laden foods when I do eat food. OK. I can do that. We were the last ones out about 7:30. Great customer service from all the staff. They all said goodbye to us as we left and apologized profusely for being so late getting us in. Made the appointment for a follow up visit on June 2nd , and out to the fresh air, feeling much better! So I am finally starting to feel like I really do comprehend what I am thinking of doing. With all I’ve read here at OH, and elsewhere, I had pretty good knowledge of what this “journey” is about. Talking to the Dr. and his staff confirmed things I knew as well as providing more information on issues relating to his practice specifically. Now it seems the real beginning of my journey.....
March 27, 2005
Mar 27, 2005
HAPPY EASTER everyone! Spring has sprung and it is a glorious early spring day in
Southern California
. After a very wet and dreary winter this weekend is a wonderful change for us! It's been a couple of weeks since I posted my "opening remarks" and I thought I'd update. Things seem to be moving fast. It is an odd situation for me because I haven't finalized my decision to have this surgery, although so many things are falling in place, mostly due to my PCP, Dr. Jiffry. Since I last wrote I have been to the cardiologist, last Tuesday, and psychiatrist, last Friday. Dr. Jiffry made sure I told them I was considering WLS on my first visit in addition to the "main" reasons for seeing them. That being that I don't feel well anymore! So now I have a May 6th date for a Chemical Stress Test for the cardiologist and the next visit with the psych on April 22nd. The funny thing was my cell phone starts ringing as I am driving from work to the psych appointment Friday. It is Dr. Krahn’s office, Western Bariatrics, to set up my initial consultation with him! So I made the appointment for April 12th. At this point I'd have to say I am 80% sure this is what I need to do for myself to help with my health issues and have a better future. BUT... I will need to see how this all plays out. Somehow I don't "feel" much about this process so far. Kind of numb and analytical about it all. Yesterday I was talking to my Mom while driving to a family gathering and was telling her it seems weird as I don't feel either scared or excited. Everything seems muted too much. On the other hand I have been stuffing down my feelings more than usual (usual being a lot anyway!) since my Mom was got sick in January and spent a week in the hospital. More on that some other time. Need to run now so will gather my thoughts for another update when something new develops.
