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Well I went to my appointment today and I have to say I'm disappointed. Not in Dr. Wilson he was great. He is very knowledgable in his field and I'm glad to have him as my endo.
Now the 1 step forward 2 steps back part.
He wants me to get a letter from my 'head' dr, saying when she feels I will be mentally ready for surgery. What? I am mentally ready for the surgery.
I know that losing weight and getting a noraml BMI will not solve all of my problems but staying fat is not helping either. I'm not crazy or suicidal and if it's up to my head dr. she won't give the go-ahead until I'm 'cured'. How do i know? B/c we've had this conversation the last two times that I've seen her. But who knows, maybe she'll say yes. Needless to say, I'm just annoyed with the whole process.

Yep that's me. Denied, denied, denied. I was trying to not think about getting accepted until I got the actual letter in my hand. Not having a dr, up until last week really, really sucks. I had to go to a walk-in-clinic which did not do me any good at all.  so that was a waste of $100. The new dr that I have said she would support me with the wls, but that we would have to go through the process of dieticians, blah, blah. How many more years of this an I going to have to go through. I've been dieting since I was 9 years old, 9 people. I'll be 32 at the end of the month. Are you f***ing kidding me.
I've put so much of myself into this process. Obsessing day and night. Now I have to hand over another $100 to this new dr but of course when she thinks I'm ready to have the surgery. How much harder is it going to be when I tell her want the the DS and not the RNY. I don't know I'm so mad right now, I'm not making sense to myself so that's all for today.

Well I sent my OOC forms off to OHIP this afternoon. I'm praying that I'll be okayed for surgery. Maybe even by the end of the week. From other people's posts acceptances at the OHIP office have been going through pretty quickly lately. Okay I'm not saying anymore. If it happens it will. Done.

Went to see Dr. Schram and the crew for a group/individual consult on July 1st. I know very unpatriotic, I did feel a little bad not being in my own country for the day. Anyway everything went well for the most part. Dr. Schram has okayed me for the surgery, I just need to get a dr. here in Windsor to sign the papers for me. Then I can get the surgery scheduled. Finding a dr who is on board is not as easy as one would think. I do have some appointments coming up but who knows. Dr. Schram did recommend a dr in windsor but she wasn't and still isn't taking new patients. I'm getting so annoyed and frustrated, it's not even funny. So close, yet so far away.
By the way I've apparently gone from being 5'8" to 5'7.25". What the hell. I'm not happy about that. I've always been very proud of my 5'8".

Sort of. Went to another PCP in my dr;s office and I got a referal to see Dr. Wilson. It'll be a couple days before I get a call back with an office date. The PCP also ordered some blood work to be done, which is good. At least that can be done ahead of time. I go for that on wed.  That's it for now. Although I'm still not sure about the 23rd.

Well I finally made an appointment to see Dr. Poplawski on June 23rd, for an individual consult. I just have to make sure to get there early and be one of the first ones to sign up. That's the forward part. 
My PCP is on vacation until August. Which is bad for me because I have other non-related forms that only she can fill out. The list of other Dr's taking on new patients is a bust except for one, who wasn't even on the list. My appointment with her isn't until July 14th and that doesn't mean that she'll take me on as a patient. 
At least today isn't hot as hell like it was yesterday.
Then I have to get medical files from 2 different Dr's. More money out. I don't know what I'm going to do about any of this. 
On a good note. My cousin put up some new pictures of herself and she looks amazing and so happy. Her surgery was in late Feb and she looks good. She's lost half of her body weight. I'm happy for her, it's been a long time coming, alot longer than I've been waiting. It's just discouraging when my clothes that were loose last year, now fit like they belong to someone else.

I'm getting ready for work and trying to find something light and airy, so that I don't pass out in the 33 degree weather. I already know that most of my clothes from last year don't fit. Then I started trying on some tops and the one that I managed to put on was super tight. So what did I do? I pretented that I was the hulk and tore it off. You know that fit of rage that over-powers David Banner. Yep that was me. Then I sat on my bed and cried for about 20 minutes. That's all I seem to do these days, when I try on old clothes. Any way, I'm calling Barix tomorrow to schedule a full consult in Ypsilanti. Enough is enough. I don't know how I'm going to manage it since I don't have a PCP who's on board or any other PCP who's willing to take me on as a patient. I don't know, I'm frustrated, tired and pissed off of having to fight for things that I know are right for me. That includes everything in life not just my WL battle. I'm so mad!!

Okay I went to my PCP a few weeks ago, she wouldn't  refer me for the surgery. But she wanted me to go to BANA, I assume to make sure I didn't have an eating disorder.
Fast forward to last week thursday. I had an appointment with my head dr. She did support the surgery, but believes I have to go through at least  a 6 month month process of seeing dieticians and seeing if there are any other alternatives. Plus she thinks it couldn't hurt  to go ahead with making an appointment to see BANA. By the way my depression is well under control and stable and my head doctor doesn't see it as a barrier to surgery.  The head Dr. did also state that she didn't feel my PCP was against me having the surgery but that she wanted to make sure that it was the best alternative for me. I don't believe her but she said she could tell how frustrated  was with everything.
Fast forward to today. I go to the office for my BANA appointment, spent  55 minutes  in the waiting room. Fell asleep. Only to discover at the end of the appointment that I'm not speaking with someone from BANA, but with another PCP. Thanks to the receoptionist who booked my appointment for wasting both of  our time. So I called BANA left my name and number and now have to wait for one of the clinicians to call me back to arrange an appointment. I have very little patience to begin with, right now I'm more then a little upset. Did anyone else have to go through 6 months of nutrician 101. I know what works for me and what doesn't. If I wasn't  at my wits end, I wouldn't be looking at sugery.