Stacie H.

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Okay in light of all that went on with my sister I have been too freaked out to add a post about Lee.  My wonderful husband scheduled his surgery date shortly after my sister was finally feeling better.  To say the least I had a lot of anxiety about him having WLS but how do I tell him not to do it when I see all that it has done for me??? 

This past Monday (8/17/2009) Lee had surgery, we came home on Wednesday with no problems at all (with the exception of my passing out and cracking my head on the hospital floor, but this is about Lee not me...)  I am so happy for Lee, he is an amazing man and I am lucky to be his wife!  I am looking forward to our new life together!  I hope we live to be 101 (103 for him because he is older!)!!! 

After all these years, I love him even more now than I did the day I married him.  He still makes me laugh, he still gives me butterflies and he just makes me happy!  There is a new song out by Brad Paisley called "Then"  that I love...

Then
I remember, trying not to stare the night that I first met you
You had me mesmerized
And three weeks later, in the front porch light
taking forty-five minutes to kiss goodnight
I hadn't told you yet
but I thought I loved you then

Chorus

And now you're my whole life
now you're my whole world
I just can't believe the way I feel about you, girl
Like a river meets the sea,
stronger than it's ever been.
We've come so far since that day
And I thought I loved you then

And i remember, taking you back to right where I first met you,
You were so surprised
There were people around, but I didn't care
Got down on one knee right there once again,
I thought I loved you then

Chorus

And now you're my whole life
now you're my whole world
I just can't believe the way I feel about you, girl
Like a river meets the sea,
stronger than it's ever been.
We've come so far since that day
And I thought I loved you then

I could just see you, with a baby on the way
And I could just see you, when your hair is turning gray
What I can't see is how I'm ever gonna love you more
But I've said that before

And now you're my whole life
now you're my whole world
I just can't believe the way I feel about you, girl
We'll look back someday, at this moment that we're in
And I'll look at you and say
And I thought I loved you then
And I thought I loved you then

My sister had her surgery on April 29th and went home from the hospital on May 1st (her 40th birthday).  She had some complications and ended up having to go back to the ER on May 2nd she was admitted to the hospital because of a bowel obstruction.  They ended up doing surgery again on May 3rd, it was a terrifying day to say the least.  Brenda and I are very close and the thought of loosing my sister was more than my heart could bear.  She came through surgery well but her blood pressure was very low and her heart rate was high, the worked all night with her to get her blood pressure up to a normal reading.  This morning when I went in to see her she had just returned from her leak test which looked good and was begging for something to drink which was a 180 from the day after her first surgery when we had to keep begging her to drink.  Her heart rate is still high and they are working on getting that back to normal so please be praying for her.  I just want her healthy and feeling well again!  I found a little plaque in the hospital gift shop that sums up my feelings about this whole experience today...

If you live to be a hundred I hope I live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live a day with out you!
-Winnie the Pooh

My sister got approval today for her surgery!  I am so happy for her!  I pray that God will give her peace while she waits for the big day, that the surgery will go perfectly and that she will adapt to her new life easily!  I can't wait to see her start on this journey, it is a truly wonderful gift!

Earlier this week I went shopping.  I wanted to buy a dress that actually fit.  I went into the store and found two really cute dresses that I thought would look good on me.  I got a size 12, 10 and an 8 (when I picked up the 8 I said yeah right under my breath).  I went into the dressing room and tried the 12 it was too big, I tried the 10 and it was still a little big.  I went to try on the size 8 and said to myself who the heck do you think you are trying on a size 8???  I put the dress on and it fit!!!  I was in total disbelief!  It fit and I looked dang good in it.  Who the heck to do I think I am?  I think that I am the skinny b#$*h that can fit in a size 8 is who I think I am!!!

A few nights ago I had a dream that I woke up and all of this had been a dream, I was heart sick and depressed.  When I woke up I felt the need to just thank God again that he has given me this wonderful chance to start again.  I love the person that I am able to be now that I am not tied down to all of that weight!  I feel like Cinderella!

Okay I have mentioned on several occasions that I have a problem with having to wrestle the fat girl (not seeing that I am now 110 lbs smaller than I used to be).  I have been struggling with that lately and I had lightbulb moment the other day.  I got a new video camera for Christmas and after returning home from vacation I was scrolling through the still shots that I had on the camera.  There was a picture of the back of some lady in my sister-in-law's house and when I said "who is that" my 7 year old daughter said "MOM that's you!" like she thought I was kidding.  I sat and looked at the skinny girl in that picture in shock that it was me.  It was a great opportunity to give the fat girl that taunts me a swift kick in the arss!!!  Today I went in to NY&Co and tried on a few coats that were on sale first I tried the 12 and it was huge so I tried the 10 it was too big as well, I picked up the 8 like yeah right ---it was loose and so even though I was half was afraid I would rip the seams out of it I went to get a size 6... they didn't have one...  I don't know if that's good or bad!!! 

I reached my century mark a few weeks ago.  What a wonderful feeling.  I have lost 108 lbs. at this point and would like to loose another 30 lbs or so.  I am starting to realize that the last 30 lbs or so will not be as easy as the first 108 have been.  I am going to have to really work for it!  I am walking on my treadmill every day and trying to run for part of the time.  I need to start to lift weights too but all I have right now is my kids.  I use them as weights to do curls.  Sounds silly I know but it works and they get a big kick out of it too.  My youngest is like Jillian on The Biggest Looser when I think I can't keep going he just yells "MORE MORE, DO IT AGAIN!" at me. 

I also am finding that my eating habits are really not that good lately.  I'm not eating candy bars or anything like that and I still have not had a dumping episode (thank goodness!) but I munch on things that I really shouldn't like Christmas cookies from Kroger (they are technically under the 10 grams of sugar per serving that I am allowed to have but I know that I shouldn't eat them) and Pringles (those things are like crack!!!).  I tried buying the single serving ones so I wouldn't eat too many but I am starting to realize that I can't even have them around.  Christmas may be a little difficult with all of the yummy food and stuff that is always around. 

I pray that I won't allow myself to do anything that would cause me to gain weight back.  The thought of being so big again makes me want to cry.  It's like now that I know what it's like to feel good and have some confidence about myself again I don't want to go back!

That's all for now!  Have a wonderful Christmas!!!

Okay, I got on the scale this morning and I have officially lost 90 lbs!  That's right I said NINETY POUNDS!!!  I can't believe it!  I also wore a pair of jeans this weekend that are a size ---get ready for this--- are you sitting down?  A SIZE 12!!!  I have gone from a 24 to a 12 is that crazy or what???

I have been so fortunate that a lady my husband works with had RnY Gastric bypass about 10 months before I did and she has given me so me wonderful clothes!  I literally had the back of my minivan full of clothes that she sent to me.  I wanted to sit on the floor in the middle of them and cry I was so happy! 


I LOVE HAND ME DOWNS!!!

That's all for now.  Have a great week!

September 23 was my 13th wedding anniversary.  I set a goal to weigh what I did when I got married by that date.  I managed to be 3 lbs less than my goal!!!  I could in theory wear my wedding dress again (if I wanted to take it out of it's little preservation box that I have it in which I don't and if everything hadn't dropped a few inches which they have!!!)!

I have days that I look in the mirror and still see that same fat girl staring back at me.  I have have come to terms with the fact that I will probably wrestle with her for the rest of my life.  I wish I could just kick her butt and be done with it, but I guess that just isn't the case.  If nothing else I am going to smile at her, and tell her thanks for reminding me why I need to stay motivated to follow my doctor's orders and do all of the things that I know I need to do to stay healthy.

As a side note...

I just found out that my sister's insurance will cover weight loss surgery in 2009!  I am so happy for her!  When I first started this journey she went with me to the seminar.  We found out that my insurance would cover the surgery and hers wouldn't.  It was rough, I was happy for me and so sad for her.  Now I can honestly say that I am more excited for her than I was about when I scheduled my own surgery.  I know now how it will change her life and how much better she will feel.  This is such an amazing gift I am just so excited for her! 

My sister is an amazing woman who is always so concerned for everyone else, I am happy to see her do something for herself for a change!  Please pray that God will give her wisdom as she is making decisions about her surgery and that if or when she does do it that he will keep her safe and strong.  Of all the friends I have ever had she is my  best friend!  I guess since we are sisters she has to put up with me!  ;o)

Last night I got on the scale and I now weigh less than 200 lbs!  I am so happy!  I haven't weighed less than 200 lbs since 1996!  I am so thankful for this surgery.  I know I say that all the time but I really and truly feel like I have been given a second chance at life!  I take my son to Football pratice now and I don't dread it.  I don't mind taking my youngest son because I actually have the energy to chase him around if I need to and at times I actually chase him just for fun!  I feel like I am one of the most fortunate people in the world!  I love my new life!

I am wearing a knee length (as opposed to my previous ankle length) dress today with a belt!  Look my pre surgery picture, you can't see a waist, now I have one and I have a belt around it!!!  I'm so excited hehehehe!!!  I am so thankful for this surgery!