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So much has happened since my November post.

First of all, toward the end of that month I started having some probs. Nausea, dry heaves, vomiting, trouble swallowing and hideous pains. Went in for an endoscopy on Dec. 8 (weight 171) and my surgeon discovered that I had a "rather large" ulcer. Ow... He put me on 11 hellacious days of this disgusting pink liquid and a month of prescription strength pills. Around the 8th day or so I started feeling a lot better and stopped taking painkillers. Finished taking both meds now but am keeping a bottle of generic acid reducer on hand just in case.

The holidays were pretty awesome. Lots of family time, quiet time, and reading. Plus I spent time with many of my friends.

I know I talked about getting into size 10 pants and figured it would happen closer to 145... but I've lost about 10 lbs since my endoscopy. I'm officially 161.2 and sitting here in size 10 black jeans. They were definitely too tight a month ago but look great now, or so I've been told.

While I know how great it is that I've lost weight and have come to terms w/ the fact that I'm going to wind up having my breats augmented (nothing added, just want them to sit up and behave!) I keep stressing over my measurements. The problem is that I have a "wasp-waist" with a pear shape (totally new for me!) and it makes finding well-fitting clothes a major prob at times. My measurements are about 36", 30", 44" and my hips are killing me. Two months back they were the same only my waist was 34". So I can wear M on top but tend toward L on the bottom. I'm dying to buy some corsets (in keeping w/ my chosen Victorian style of dress) but need to wait until I settle. Having lost 10 lbs in the last month this far out sort of freaks me out.

Anywho, in other news men are definitely noticing me whether they comment or not. Regretfully far too many choose to speak their minds. I'm sick and tired of being asked if I'm engaged yet, being approached by the sugar-daddy or breeder types. Which... means that last night was quite possibly a good thing. Extremely long story short, my closest guy friend wound up kissing me and confessed to what I (and others) had suspected for ages-- that he has romantic feelings for me but worries about ruining our friendship. Ditto, though I confess I'm scared for a variety of reasons. I honestly don't know how I feel about him, but I value him as a friend first and foremost. He said he's willing to wait and see what happens so... well, whatever happens happens, whatever doesn't doesn't. Major bonus-- he knows all about my surgery and has questioned me thoroughly about my diet and eating habits over the past year. Which is probably one of the things that drew me to him-- he cares. He's always concerned about whether I'm ok with what's on the menu when we all go out and makes sure I've eaten or have a drink. Very sweet.

Ack! I have to run. Taking my mom and sis (who's downright scrawny these days-- her surgeon has forbidden her to lose more than 1 lb/month!) out to lunch. Yea!

I honestly thought I'd posted something last month. Had no clue it'd been this long! My life is busy as always, and continues to run me ragged. So... will ramble a bit in an attempt to catch up. 

Last month I was extremely run down. Wound up with some sort of bug and was extremely faint for a couple of days. Actually missed a day or two of work and made a last minute appointment to see Dr. Pender. It wound up being my surgiversary appt anyway-- and I'd missed my 9-mth one. Truth be told, I was terrified of going. I was afraid he'd say I haven't lost enough weight or grill me about exercising. For some reason I was thinking I hadn't lost as much as it turns out I have. Didn't help that I had about a 3-mth plateau. 

So... imagine how thrilled I was when my normally laid-back, low-key surgeon comes in and gives me a double-thumbs up! I am exactly where I need to be and both he and his PA had a lot of good stuff to say about it.

Since then the scale has shown the loss of a handful of pounds and I continue to slowly lose inches. As of right now my major problem areas are my tummy and hips-- if I could whittle them down I'd drop another size or two. I'm hovering around 172-3 and wear 14 or L/XL. More and more often leaning towards L, w/ an occasional M-- and my latest guy-sized t-shirt is a SMALL!!! Indeed, the lightweight winter coat I got last month was a good fit at XL but is now too big. Both my sis and I are doing size 14 wool coats for winter.

My goal? I think 145 would be great and would love to be a 10... so I can ransack my niece's closet.  Honestly don't feel the need to hit the single digits. If it happens, fine. If not, whatever. I am finally normal and healthy and that matters most. For the first time since my pre-teens I have the assurance that just about any guy I date will outweigh me. Call me crazy, but yeah, there's something magical about a guy offering me his jacket or something-- and being able to fit into it!

On the downside my breasts continue to shrink, or rather deflate. Could roll them up and stuff them in my bra at this point. Anywho, when I picked my Halloween costume I needed a strapless bra (clear straps wound up doing better) and that led to my being measured again. Hard to believe, but I went from a 46H to a 42DD... and now wear a 36C. Granted, still way too full to wear the el cheapo, indecent numbers they sell in Target and whatnot, but still... ouchies.

Called my friend Duck to tell her and she was rather unsympathetic, as hers are bigger than mine were. She actually said "welcome to the itty-bitty titty club." Which is fine-- cuz she's getting a Lap-Band and I'll be making fun of her shrinkage in a year or so.  Speaking of which, I'm so happy for her! She's positive that it's the right move for her-- her family, like mine, has a terrible history of health probs and we hope that  and has a terrific support system. One of her good friends had it done back in April, her boyfriend lifts weights and has already helped her boost her protein intake, and her parents are behind her. My entire family is backing her as well and we've already made plans to accomodate her liquid diet if it hits during the holidays.

Skipping back to the topic of my costume. Smexi, yes. I was a vampire, complete w/ realistic fangs, a satin & velvet dress that showed plenty of skin (shoulders) w/out too much cleavage or being too short-- a must, since I had to work that night. Decided to go all out and rock fishnets under knee-high black boots. Went out w/ the guys after (yeah, just friends and barely that for one of them) and the owner of the pub told me I was beautiful.  Actually got a fair number of compliments-- along w/ a certain friend singing "Lady Marmalade." Treachery! Still a fun night all in all.

Yeah, has been a loooooong time since I've blogged. Probably because I live my life on Twitter and Facebook. And that life is insanely busy.

Not a whole lot has changed for me. Well... working insane hours at times. Was at a plateau for about 3 months and now am at a crawl. Not too worried though, I guess. In the past month I've dropped about a size and a half. Most of my 1X clothes are baggy now. Wore some capris yesterday that seriously needed the drawstring to hold them up. Even w/ shrinkage my Bahamas shirts are big on me. Went out on a limb and ordered two awesome t-shirts last week. One is a regular guy's shirt in M-- and it's a perfect fit! The other is a babydoll t in L. It looks too snug so I haven't even tried it on yet, but I hope to get into it in the next month. Maybe.

Am eating more things as time progresses. Have stopped denying myself little treats now and then. If getting my protein in for the day means having a lite/sf caramel w/ protein from Starbucks, so be it! Course it helps that the 'Bucks employee that recommended them to my sis also had a gastric bypass. Eating occasional fruit now, which was one of my no-no's before. Doing much better w/ eating all my protein though I keep protein drinks for the times I just don't feel like eating or don't quite get enough in. Yesterday I even bought some fat-free whip cream (1g sugar/carb per serving) to put on top of my protein cocoa. 

Confession time: I am such a bum. I'm ashamed and embarrassed to say that I have hardly worked out at all of late. Yeah, I'm a slacker. I know I would probably lose faster if I got off my hindparts, but there you have it. Which is not to say that I've been sitting and doing nothing. Am definitely far more active than in the past. I do go for walks and run around acting silly, but the actual structured exercise is still lacking.

In other news, still single. Ha. Yeah... weird things happening there. Generally have wretched luck w/ the opposite sex, so it's hardly surprising. Have been spending way too much time w/ one of my co-workers and his friends. Part of it is work-related, the rest is pure gaming/hanging out. He's sweet and makes me laugh but is way too immature. He knows about my surgery and everything, too. So when all of us go out he tries to look out for me as far as making sure there's something on the menu I can eat, etc. Regretfully, Duck and another friend from work are convinced that he has a thing for me-- and his behavior makes me wonder at times. Not gonna worry about it though. He hasn't actually asked me out or anything like that, so it's all good. Though he did kiss me on the forehead the other night and  the last time he hugged me (cuz I'd been particularly nice during a gaming session and had been sick) it kinda lasted a bit too long. He smelled good though, so can't complain.

Not sure if I wrote about this, but a few months back a guy walked up and handed me a disgusting and disturbing note at work. Yeah, not cool. Creepy-stalker-icky uncool. Handed it off to our director who played the role of mama lion and threatened to ban him if he had any further contact w/ me. Last week I had to report him for speaking to me. Don't even know what he said, but he'd been watching me. Told a co-worker I felt like I needed a scalding shower... and she said he needed scalded water applied to certain parts of his anatomy. Bless her, she made me feel a bit better... in an evil sort of way.

Another patron went out of his way to tell me how beautiful I am and eventually wrote me a (surprisingly polite and well-written) letter. Though I don't find him attractive, I was so impressed by his approach and obvious intelligence that I would have gone out with him-- if he didn't have FOUR kids. So I wrote an equally polite and kind response gently explaining that I would be happy to pursue a friendship, but nothing more because becoming attached to someone else's family = heartbreak. Not my precise reason, but diplomacy is best when feelings could get hurt. Right... next!

Other guys... not much there either. Pretty sure I posted something about online dating a while back. Well, haven't gotten around to meeting anyone and deleted my accounts... but do still talk to a couple of guys from there. One is just amusing to me. No way I'd ever think about meeting him because he's too pushy, but he does entertain me. The other one-- if he is all he seems to be-- has potential. We've talked on the phone once, albeit briefly since he was calling internationally. Absolutely smexi accent. Sweet guy, might be fun to actually meet him. Still when it comes to meeting... I get a bit antsy about the whole WLS deal-- when/if to tell and all that. Long way off though, so no point stressing.

That pretty much sums it up. Life has been moving at a pretty rapid pace for me. I finished my MLS and graduated Summa Cum Laude. I was also inducted into Beta Phi Mu, the library honor society. Much coolness and stuff. Our director (aka the big boss) was so thrilled that she hugged me. 

In other news I have hit a point where I'm not losing weight very fast but am losing inches again. Some of my size 18 clothes are really baggy now. One of my friends gave me an entire box full of 1X shirts and a couple pairs of pants. I was nice-- shared w/ my sis. So I'm pretty set for variety for at least a couple more months. The 1X WoW shirt I bought fits beautifully, nice and roomy the way I like them. Have already started looking at new shirts in L. HA! Haven't worn one of those since... um, ever?

What else? Oh yeah, my co-workers are having fun with the new me. I get all kinds of comments about showing cleavage, being "skinny," and my emerging "hour-glass figure." Flattering but can get a bit annoying or embarrassing at times. Heh, just had a patron come in and comment that I've lost weight. They also tell me I'm skinny or fading away. Regretfully though-- and never thought I'd put it this way-- men are starting to notice as well. At least one had me stand up and turn around, but he wasn't being forward, just curious. Others flirt outrageously or do their best to make me blush. In general they're waaaaay too old still. It was fine though until this past weekend, when I had a truly worrisome experience.

This past weekend one of our patrons actually typed up and handed me a note talking about how beautiful I am, how much weight I've lost-- and what he wanted from me. Needless to say, it wasn't a book. It struck me as funny at first but... yeah, CREEPY. He put in his email address. So I turned it over to the director. I have not seen him since to point him but, so she sent an email warning him to cease all communication with me or risk being physically removed and banned from the library. Very well done. Still... feel a bit antsy about the whole deal. Never can tell how someone will react. Hopefully he has enough sense to just walk away.

Oh yeah, have also decided to delve into the wondrous world of online dating again. It's ok I guess. Have come across some interesting people. Opted not to post a pic since I work with the public-- and said as much-- but still get a large number of interested parties. The few that have seen my pic said I was cute or whatever. (Sent one of the recent ones in the red shirt.) Sad thing is... I'm shallow. I am and I know it. So I get a bit nitpicky at times. Plus, well, if a guy can't even hold up his end of a convo online I generally figure he can't do it in person either. That seriously narrows the field some. If all else fails, I have two friends determined to see me at least dating somebody. I'm not really in a rush though. First and foremost (and talking online is great for saying this bluntly) I have no intention of sleeping with anybody. (That also narrows the field, gets rid of guys not interested in anything but sex, as well as those not planning on getting married one day.) Second, if things ever do move toward marriage... well, I know I look a LOT better w/ clothes on than off. Plus my eating habits are a bit odd these days-- ordering a burger and not eating the bun cuz I want to save up my carbs for dinner, etc.-- so I would be hesitant to go out to dinner or whatnot without first explaining myself. Speaking of which, have been out a couple times with co-workers of late and they are all very accepting and cool about it. They might make a teasing remark about me being full after a couple of bites, but it's all in fun. So... anyway, yeah. That's where I am right now.

I know it's been ages since I've posted. Did the big cruise thing Easter week. Lots of fun, gained a pound. *lol* Yah, but not too upset. Frankly, I was a bit bad. Ate tons of seafood and red meat, some chicken when it was moist enough... plus salads (covered in lunch meat and cheese) and sugar-free desserts. Also tried a new drink, Amaretto Sour, though it was just a few sips. My friend Duck had the rest. Made sure to get in lots of protein before, too. Generally stuck to healthy choices (grilled, baked, broiled, etc) but I knew I was over-indulging in carbs w/ the cake and stuff. At the same time, I got plenty of exercise and only overate (with icky results) twice. All in all, it was an awesome vacation. Wouldn't do a full week again anytime soon though, but it's looking like we might do a shorter family cruise again next year.

In other news, I'll be getting my Masters in Library Science from NCCU on May 16 with a 4.0 and other honors. Plus, I finally have my cap and gown ordered. Decided to lower my weight a bit for it and went with 195 lbs. As it happens... this morning I finally weighed myself for the first time since right after getting home-- and I'm at 196.4! OMG, I have lost 102 pounds! I'm in the century club AND I'm under 200! I could hardly believe it... I'm so happy!

Finally, things are going really well with my new branch. We're gearing up for the big Summer Reading Program. Still kind of antsy about doing children's programming but happily I only have to deal with the older group, 8-12 year olds.

Well, have to get ready for work, so off I go. Hopefully will have more time to write in the new future.

OMG, this has been a chaotically busy time for me! Between easing into my new position running one of the branches, getting my final projects done for two classes, and buying clothes for the cruise I barely have time to breathe. *wheeze* So... yeah, will do a real update. Eventually.

Quick notes-- apparently I really do look younger these days. Had a couple of ladies argue me down, they couldn't believe I'm 32. Bless their hearts... Oh and after seeing me in one of my mom's skirts (black, handkerchief style, borrowing it for the 2nd formal night on the cruise) my dad said I might meet my future husband on the ship. I almost cried-- he's a typical guy, rarely says more than "you look fine." So that was pretty major.

OK, last week was a rough one for me. Issues at work, had a day when things went waaaay south. Bouncing back, tons of love and support.

What does that mean as far as weight/health go? Well... the bad news is that when I get too upset I don't eat. Or drink. Had to force myself and stil didn't hit on a whole lot there. Spent about 4 days dehydrated. I know, I know, stupid. Still don't have much of an appetite but that's pretty typical really. Only time I ever feel hungry is in the evening if I eat dinner too late.

The good news is that I didn't go the opposite way and eat through my troubles. My weight has held steady despite the fact that I've been a lump on a log. ('K, more so than usual.) Have lost all of .2 pounds. Yeah. So I'm officially at 203.2 and determined to make it to 198 ASAP. Two goals w/ one stone-- under 200 pounds AND hitting the century mark.

In other news, I'm surprised everybody in NC didn't hear my wail of agony in the dressing room the other day. My big sis has been talking about how her thighs go "plap-plap" when they're bare. I'd sort of given her a crazy look and laughed... until I was trying on some capris... and beheld the hideous sight of my first excess skin wrinkles in the mirror. IIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I vaguely remember moaning something about "elephant thighs, big and round and wrinkly," then my sis was snickering and saying "plap-plap." The hussy. Anyway, yeah. Was not a pretty thing to behold. Sort of worse than my batwings. I've known about those for a while but my arms are still fat enough that it doesn't matter too much. Of course, I have sworn off tank tops for the cruise. Now... I've also declared that my swimsuit will (as usual) have a skirt or shorts. Wish me luck finding a gala dress that's not sleeveless though!

The first words I heard today were about how I finally have clothes that fit and show how much I've lost. Sort of made my day, needless to say.

Shopping this weekend was a definite success. It was cold and nasty out so there weren't any yardsales. Instead we went to Goodwill, where my mom lucked up and found me a pair of slacks for under $4. We didn't stick around though because things were chaotic-- nothing was organized by size!

When we left there we hit Second Fling, which is a consignment store. OMG, did we luck up! Their nicest things are up front with jeans and slacks running around $10.50. My sis and I felt like that was a bit much to pay for things that may not fit in 2-4 weeks. So we headed to the "Rags to Riches" section in the back of the store. The price tags were all under $6 plus they were having a huge 50% sale! I got some nice black slacks for $1.25 and there's absolutely nothing wrong with them! Most of the stuff I picked up is brandname and all is in great condition. Wound up with 3-4 pairs of pants and 4 shirts-- all nice enough for work-- for a total of $29.09! I pretty much went through everything 16-18 and picked what I liked. So I'll still have some pants and tops I can wear once I drop another size.

I'm thrilled because I can finally look good for work. That along with the fact that I'll be able to afford more clothes when I need them. Actually enjoyed clothes shopping for the first time in my life, just because of the variety and prices!

Sunday night began a landslide of despair for me. Not in a bad way, but still stressful. I have spent the entire week trying on clothes, checking labels, literally tearing my closets apart. What did I find? NOTHING. I have NO clothes that fit! MONE! The only reason I've looked halfway decent two days this week is because I ransacked my mom's clothes in my guest closet. (Boy, was she furious about me wearing her blue suit...) Of course, on the up side I am officially a size 18. Did find a box of college clothes (freshman year) out in the garage. The But... they're all t-shirts and way too faded or casual to be of use now. The shirts are actually loose on me. It's my stupid tummy that keeps me in larger pants. I think what gets me is that I literally have shrunk beyond all of my jeans and slacks. ALL of them. It's casual Friday, the one day I can wear jeans to work... and I'm wearing Mom's khakis instead. They're petite, no less. Which means they're almost too short. *grumble*

So... now that I'm done complaining... on to the good stuff.

My sis and I are WoaM (Women on a Mission). We'll be heading out early to hit as many yard sales as we can find. If I find anything from 12-18 that looks vaguely decent, I'm buying it. As it's cold (from 80-something earlier this week down to the 40's today!) and rainy I doubt we'll have much luck. Which is fine, since we're also heading to Goodwill and Second Fling. The latter is a consignment shop, and we're going to try selling our clothes through them. Their prices are good enough that I'm hoping to pick up some shorts and things for the cruise as well.

Oh yeah, totally forgot to mention the reason I was in such a panic over my clothes this week. I'm getting a major promotion to a supervisory/management position. So on Monday I knew I would probably have my picture taken for one of the local papers (I did), then yesterday I had a meeting and needed to make a good first impression. Things are really taking off for me-- and I'm VERY happy to be able to say that it's because of ME-- my achievements and all that I put into my work-- not the weight I've lost.  

I can't believe it. I bought a 1X dress yesterday and it fit... but it has smocking and all that so it was pretty meaningless. Today though, my sis made me try on some capris-- early cruise shopping-- and I got a shock.

I can wear... size 18. A few months ago I was in size 26... SIZE 26 jeans! Am determined to (literally) work my butt off for the next month and see if I can drop more before we head out.