Soljeanette
I have always battle with my weight. It has been an up and down rollercoaster. I have had a tough childhood life and analyzing my battles with diabetes, poly cyctical ovaries, and hypotyroid disease I beleive I have found comfort in food. As a teenager i was constantly made fun of, teased, and humiliated. It has been hard to find anything that will bost my selfesteem. I kept to myself and ate my pain away.
Now that I am married and have a 4yr. old daughter i find my self bigger than i ever been. I hate to go out in public, people look at me as if i was a freak show. It is very difficult and depressing to go anywhere. I must admit tha it is affecting my marriage. I don't enjoy my intimacy with my husband. He now question my love for him.
The most painful part is my relationship with my daughter. She is a single child and has no one to play with, and it is so difficult for me to play with her, spend quality time with her. Having a full time job and coming home to cook and take care of my family, I have no energy left. She is noticing my weight and she has many questions like, if i have a baby in my stomach. One night I was watching a show called Big Medicine, it's about bariatric patients and she watched a little and said "Mommy you have to go there". I cried that whole night.
This year has been the defining moment because I almost lost my job, the company was having financial problems. I had to go on interviews. I experienced first had prejudice. and it was horrible. There was one particular interview that i will never forget. The job opening was tailor exactly for my background. The first interview was by phone, and it when great. I truly believed I had the job. She asked me to bring my personal identification, and asked when i can start. We even talked about health benefits. I went to see her for a second interview. I could tell she was surprised, she changed her tone of voice , to a more assertive tone. She tried to brush me off and said she had more interviews and that i should receive a letter with in a week. I knew it was because fo my weight. I was so ashamed of myself.
